Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

I went to ikea today - MisterMoonbeam drove since I’m not allowed to drive yet. I’m still waiting to get an appointment with the neurologist. I did see my endocrinologist on Thursday and she upped my Synthroid dose since my TSH is still above 20. I’ve had three occupational therapy visits so far and oh do they exhaust me!

I’m waiting for my Amazon order to arrive because I bought a Project Hail Mary tshirt to wear to tonight’s imax show. In the meantime I’m scrolling my feed to see post after post about terrible weather and tornados. I’m now stressed I won’t be able to go tonight!

I’m deeply unhappy with how I feel, post-stroke. I sleep too much and generally just feel muddled. Today I had occupational therapy for my left hand, followed immediately by my first physical therapy appointment to address my left side weakness. In OT, I was evaluated to see if it was yet safe for me to drive. There was a large board with lights that lit up randomly and I had to tap them as quickly as I could while standing in front of it. A passing score was 52-60 and I got a 56 using both hands. Left side, however was a 42. I have to physically look at my hand to use it, it seems. It just feels dumb. So anyway, I am still restricted from driving, which isn’t an issue since none of my partners would allow it anyway. MisterMoonbeam won’t even leave me home alone for a short span of time. He’s applied for FMLA to take me to my appointments. DarkKnight would do the same, except since we are now legally divorced, he can’t do that for me. This bothers him a lot. I just feel bad that they have to take care of me like this at all.

In my PT, it was recommended that I wear my Docs more often to give my left foot more weight to help my gait. I’m not terrible when walking but I have definitely slowed down and I’m taking smaller steps to help my balance. I was given several worksheets of exercises to do at home now, each to help with specific issues. For me, my biggest gripe is that my left foot feels like a club inside of my shoe - like all of the toes are fused together. They’re not at all, but that’s the sensation I feel. Also, my hamstrings are super tight and feel shortened, so I was given a bunch of stretches to do.

I was absolutely exhausted after my appointments and went home and fell asleep and slept for two hours. It’s frustrating. Moving forward I won’t have any appointments back to back like that again though - I’m going twice a week for each therapy, but different days so it’s a single session, 4 days a week. Hopefully as my recovery progresses, I won’t feel so wiped out afterward, because it destroys the rest of my day.

I was in tears after physical therapy today. I’m just so angry that this is what I have to deal with now. They had me standing in a machine that filled my entire field of vision and moved the grounding was standing on to test my balance. It didn’t give me a lot of issues but afterward when walking normally, I was told to look left to right while moving and it makes me nauseous and gives me a headache. Facing forward is fine, but moving my eyeballs hurts. It is unfair and I just start tearing up from how upset it makes me. Of course it could be a million times worse but this sucks too, you know.

Another physical therapy this morning but I did better. Instead of focusing on how angry I feel at my current state, today I am focusing on my loves and building my business. I’m tired but I am so very lucky to have so much care and support from my nesting partners.

Here I am with MisterMoonbeam last weekend before my vending event:

I went to the Wildling Masquerade this weekend and met up with a ton of friends. I danced as much as I could and had a blast.




It’s now been one month since my stroke. I was able to stop taking Plavix and the 325 mg aspirin. I’m now just on a regular aspirin each morning and 80 mg of Atorvastatin. I feel tired still, more often than not though.

I’ve watched more tv since my stroke than I had all year last year, it feels like! I binge watched the most recent season of Bridgerton, which I really enjoyed for the Cinderella story. I also watched all of the new episodes of Love on the Spectrum. I now have two more episodes left to watch of the second season of Outlast, which I am liking as well. Wow so I feel useless after watching so much TV though!

I’m making really positive strides with my occupational therapy. They retested all of my skills yesterday and I made significant gains since starting my twice-a-week sessions. They decided to sign me on for another month and then reevaluate again. My biggest issue now is how tired my left arm feels after simple tasks and my visual-spatial perception. My brain is still relearning that my left hand exists and where it needs to be placed to be utilized. To be entirely truthful, typing is arduous because I have to actively be looking at my fingers to not have loads of typos to correct. I still have not been cleared to drive.

I have physical therapy today and I am still working on regaining full use of my left foot. Visual-spatial issues still exist with it as well, and I feel more often than not that it’s a club more than a foot. It is a foot though, and if I focus on it, it works as it should. I’m supposed to wear Docs because the heavier the shoe, the better I do. In therapy sessions, they strap me up with an ankle weight. That seems to help my brain recognize my left foot’s existence.

I’m struggling with my sugar today - it won’t stay up. Just ate half a fig bar and I’m hoping that will help.

My sister came down for Easter and it was good to see her.

Just a few more days and MisterMoonbeam and I will be leaving for North Carolina for my first Renaissance Faire in April. We leave on Thursday! I have lots to do. As always, I wish I had another week to prepare.

Just caught up on your blog, Bluebird, and I'm very sorry to hear about your stroke. It sounds like you are doing well with recovering, though! Best wishes and good luck.

Bluebird said:

I’m struggling with my sugar today - it won’t stay up. Just ate half a fig bar and I’m hoping that will help.

My sister came down for Easter and it was good to see her.

Just a few more days and MisterMoonbeam and I will be leaving for North Carolina for my first Renaissance Faire in April. We leave on Thursday! I have lots to do. As always, I wish I had another week to prepare.

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Wait which faire are you doing? Eastern NC? I've got SCA stuff this weekend or I'd see if I could stop by!

icesong said:

Wait which faire are you doing? Eastern NC? I've got SCA stuff this weekend or I'd see if I could stop by!

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Yes! ENC. I will be at Festival of Legends in two weeks too

The Eastern North Carolina Ren Faire ended up being my highest grossing faire of all time - and the highest one day total on Saturday! I made $4,509 over the two days. MisterMoonbeam and I figured out that our two year wedding anniversary was Sunday, late Sunday night. He had mentioned to me that our anniversary was Wednesday and I never checked the date or paid attention. Our Google Calendar said “Happy Anniversary” on Wednesday and he just went with it. Well it turns out when he finally clicked on that, it opened to say Happy Anniversary X and X! Which was my nephew and his husband. So oops.

I have to share that it made me a little teary. I missed out on my wedding anniversary this year with DarkKnight due to my stroke and now this one passed because we were both not prioritizing it due to my job. He says we will have a do over soon.

We are home now for two days - we leave for Tennessee on Thursday for my next show. I sold out of lots of my headpieces so I’m spending the next few days making everything I possibly can! I got home late last night and immediately started working on sunhats. I took 8 with me and sold them super quick. I simplified them this time around with just a section of garland around the brim - I feel like a hack but in 90 degree heat and full sun, no one gave a shit about how cute and creative my hats were! Also, they’re cheaper and quicker to make in the time crunch now. I charge $35 so they’re still a good price.







I have my cleaning lady coming today to deal with cat litter so MisterMoonbeam can focus on his own job. DarkKnight scooped while we were gone but intensive attention is needed. Her partner is gonna weed my front landscaping today too - it’s full of stuff that doesn’t belong and I wanna put down mulch.

I used my Mr Buzzy last night to give myself an orgasm. It was my second since my stroke. I don’t like this person that I’ve become. I have no estrogen in my body now so my sexual drive is fleeting - practically non-existent. To go from high libido to zero is insane and it feels like I’ve lost myself. I’m hoping my endocrinologist can help me when I see her in a couple weeks. I can say I do get horny and excited with MisterMoonbeam, so it’s not like all feeing is gone, but the juices aren’t flowing like they used to, I guess is one way to put it. Menopause sucks.

Tomorrow is my last day of work before heading off to Tennessee for my next show. I’m a little more low key about this event because it’s scheduled to rain. That means lower sales. We’re couchsurfing though so my expenses will be less. I’m pretty tired from making lots of stuff super quick, but my employee has been here every day and together we’ve been piling up completed headpieces. A friend came over on Monday to help as well - even though I wasn’t home my studio was in full swing!

Today I have to finish three Fantasticks, 6 crow headbands, at least 10 dragon horn headbands and 14 antlered pieces. And then however many other ones I can squeeze in. And that’s just before 10:30, which is when my OT and PT appointments are. MisterMoonbeam is taking the van for an oil change then, and when we get back we will unload the van so I can clean all of my display pieces and then check inventory. Everything will need price tags and then Tetris starts - we have to pack my 24x24’ setup into the van, which we’ve never done before. I’m not entirely sure it’s possible! I also have to figure out outfits for the show and get all that packed. I will have two helpers plus MisterMoonbeam today. Thank goodness but this is still an impossible timeline.

We will get home next Monday again and then do it all over for another jaunt down to North Carolina.

Whew! It’s been a minute. I’m done with my April whirlwind of shows and I have a bunch of new events and projects to look forward to in May. I got home last night and I am happy to be in my house again though there’s a lot of work to do tomorrow!

I just opened your blog after quite some time. A stroke! You're such a fighter, staying active with fairs and shows after all those health issues. Wishing you good luck from the other side of the world

Thanks! I’m trying! My body seems to be going back and forth / I’ve made a lot of positive strides in recovery, but I still have days where I’m just drained and I can’t use a lighter to get a candle going because I don’t have enough hand strength. I never forget that I had a stroke and it’s still really scary to me that something like to could happen again with no warning.

I had an appointment today with a new gynocologist, and I had more bloodwork done (I had different bloodwork yesterday). I’m going to finally start taking Lynkuet, which was prescribed for me a while ago but then I was told not to take it. The bloodwork today was to check my liver function.

Anyway, yesterday’s bloodwork was for my thyroid numbers. Out of nowhere, they’re finally all in the green! TSH, T3 and T4! I don’t know why finally, but I am glad. I have a follow up tomorrow with the endocrinologist. I also have my re-test for occupational therapy. I want to drive again! I am tired of not being able to go out on my own. I have made really good strides in therapy so I am hoping I will graduate out. I already got kicked out of physical therapy, though I am still supposed to be working on stuff at home. My left foot is almost back to normal completely, though sometimes I do get the funny feeling like it isn’t there but when I focus on it, it’s fine. My hand is definitely not 100% but I am hoping it’s enough. I can say that typing is still really difficult on my phone - the amount of errors would be comical if I didn’t have to go back and fix things myself so much. Seriously - my fingers don’t map to the keys well and I have to backspace and fix things constantly. It’s frustrating and tiring.

I am allowed to drive again! However, they extended my occupational therapy to work on hand strength for another month. I’m cool with that!

I started making some new pieces this week for a Fandom Festival for the upcoming weekend. I’m unsure how things will go - I’ve never done an event like that.



I’m extremely happy with these designs and hope they’re recognizable for those that like this particular show. I figure if they don’t sell that they will eventually, just as unicorn princess pieces at a regular Ren Faire.

I just realized I haven’t shared any photos from my last few shows. These are from Tennessee - I absolutely love this place; the vendor coordinators are amazing.



Putting together the 24x24’ setup was made easier because they assigned 3 people to help us. The little seating area drew so many people to us! At one point a large group of fairies took it over and lots of kids were trinket trading there. I scored a bunch of gold!




I bought a hat


We did okay and I will be back there in November, no question.

The next weekend was North Carolina again, and this show was new for us. Unfortunately, the layout of the Faire was bad, and we were in a subprime location. The temperature was unbearable the first day - we had someone collapse from heat stroke in our tent! We handed out frozen water bottles and had our fans going to help. Then it rained overnight and tents on either side of us broke and/or collapsed. We made it okay but then it was cold and windy. I only made $2000, which was half of what I had expected. I can’t make the numbers work to return, unfortunately. The vendor coordinators were amazing here as well though. I wish they were closer!



You can see here we had the side walls up for the rain overnight, and my usual front setup is inside the tent. We ended up taking down our right side table to make room for the two outdoor Bean pieces.



I’m anxious about the upcoming weekend because it’s supposed to rain all week. So the show might be a bust again. Though it’s super local, so I won’t be out as much money if it is - just booth fees.

I did math yesterday and so far for this year I am doing amazing. I’ve made over $19,000 first quarter revenue. Every bit of it has gone right back into the business or to pay off some of my start up debt.

So my local show today was rescheduled for later on in the summer, but it will be on a date when I have other things scheduled. The coordinator said they’d refund me my booth fees, so I’m happy about that. I’ve been busy today making pieces instead.




I have a list of what I need to complete for my next show, and I have a list for a Pride collection I wanna do a drop for. I’m going to list all of my Fandom pieces later this week online too.

I have some wedding pieces I need to get on my calendar because the bride has a meeting with me in June. I also have pre-orders to complete for my large July show.

Today DarkKnight turned 50!

Staying busy with my business. I took a 3 day seminar for entrepreneurs and met two other women who I really connected with, who are local small business owners. That was pretty cool.

My two goals for the year are to make $20,000 per quarter and to find another wholesale partner. My customer at PARF ordered 25 of my largest crowns for August, but at the beginning of the year another PARF vendor reached out to see if she could also resell those but I decided to stay with my original contract and renew that.

Well, I tonight I reached out to the new contact and asked if she’d instead be interested in buying some of my ram horn headpieces instead. She ended up ordering 20!

Here’s what they look like:





I’m really happy I asked! I hope to touch base with some other makers at larger faires and see if they’d like me to wholesale to them too.

My weight loss has completely plateaued. I’ve been at the same 162-165 for a year now, I think. My endocrinologist says she may up my dose of Mounjaro when I see her again. I’m happy at this number but she wants me to lose another 20 pounds at least. I’m 5’9” so I feel okay!

I have a show this weekend and BugGirl is gonna come sell with us! She has come to my shows before but never as a helper. I’m paying her - I actually paid her already because she needed the money. This show was my highest grossing last year so if it is good again I will need a third set of hands in the booth. We’re Couchsurfing again with the same family as last year, and I am looking forward to seeing them.

Things are going great with all of my partners, and I’m overall good on that part of my life.