In response to your post:
First, you might want to try posting this at sedfast.com in the poly forum. I think you'd get enlightening responses.
Okay, here are the messages your wife is sending, if you read between the lines: "Honest and full disclosure will be punished. I am feeling emotionally vulnerable and my emotional safety is more important to me than honesty. I cannot handle the idea of you caring about other women. You can do whatever you want as long as I feel safe and loved and don't find out about it."
The way I see it, you have two options..
First option: stand your ground. This is something that's important to you and she should understand that. Reassure her on an emotional level (i.e. be affectionate with her, a lot).
Second option: Keep seeing the other woman and be discreet about it.
Just my 2 cents.
-Wolf
First, you might want to try posting this at sedfast.com in the poly forum. I think you'd get enlightening responses.
Okay, here are the messages your wife is sending, if you read between the lines: "Honest and full disclosure will be punished. I am feeling emotionally vulnerable and my emotional safety is more important to me than honesty. I cannot handle the idea of you caring about other women. You can do whatever you want as long as I feel safe and loved and don't find out about it."
The way I see it, you have two options..
First option: stand your ground. This is something that's important to you and she should understand that. Reassure her on an emotional level (i.e. be affectionate with her, a lot).
Second option: Keep seeing the other woman and be discreet about it.
Just my 2 cents.
-Wolf