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We (Astraeus and I) have recently moved to be closer to Daedalea, and we plan eventually to live together (right now, she stays weekends with us and the rest of the time at her place, and Astraeus stays one night over at her place). When we were preparing to move, and we were looking for...

It's hard to put into words, but I believe that there is something greater than us which watches over us benevolently and doesn't interfere in our lives. I believe we are unconditionally loved by this being and encouraged to be the best we can possibly be. For me personally, this being exists in...

Before we became three, I asked Astraeus to shower before he came home from Daedalea to me. It's no big deal any more now (D and I sometimes tease each other about it now, because it's kind of sexy to be able to smell each other on him :D <3 ), but back then it was a bit of an emotional...

This was really inspiring and thought-provoking, thank you so much for sharing it. I admire your approach to compassionate truth-telling. ETA: I wish there was a like button on this site - there is so much wisdom here! Amanita

I'm reading this thread with much enjoyment and interest - it's great to hear the stories of people who are living with this structure and for whom it's working so well! As I mentioned earlier, we are about to embark on something similar, and I was wondering, what sort of preparation did all of...

Well, the fact that you are asking these questions and can name some concrete concerns shows that you are actually looking at this with some degree of clarity. There are things that are ringing warning bells hard enough for you that they make themselves heard above the roar of NRE - I'd...

Kudos from me too! We are about to embark on something similar, so I am watching this thread with much interest :) Amanita

Yikes, how awful. :( I can totally get you wanting to be there as a family in a situation like that. My thoughts are with you all.

What are you afraid will happen if you do broach the subject?

Thanks for posting this article, I found it really interesting and related to a lot of it w.r.t. my own experience. I really loved what she said about having multiple marriages with the same spouse, and also this, oh wow: That really rang some bells with me! Re: European practices, I can't...

Not as a polyamorous arrangement, but when I was living with my former partner, we had his brother living with us for a time, and then after he moved out, my future brother-in-law came to live with us for a while. Both instances worked out pretty well. Indirect examples include an internet...

I think like many other things, whether a communal household works or not depends upon the personalities involved. I personally think it's a great idea as long as the participants have some kind of a shared vision, communicate well with each other, and have the mutual goodwill to make and stick...

Hi all, I was wondering whether any of you have discovered/invented other ways to describe or name the relationships you have with your metamours? 'Metamour' seems to be a very functional term to me - it describes the position of both parties in a relationship, but doesn't really say anything...

I have the same thing with date night, but it is getting easier. One of the arrangements we have is to talk briefly on the phone before and after the date. Also, because Astraeus has to catch the same train home afterwards, I always know roughly when I'll hear from him, and that helps too...

I agree, as long as both partners have a good idea where the boundary lies between discretion and dishonesty, not only for themselves but for each other (to avoid inadvertent stepping on of toes).

The thing that troubled me more about that part was that he was keeping secrets about what he was doing, which conflicts with what Nichtdaisy seems to want to achieve, which is honesty. Also, the double-standard bothers me - that it's okay for him to do what he wants, but not for her (if I've...

Hi Nichtdaisy, Given that you and your primary guy have already been exploring open relationships, do you think that polyamory on your terms is something that he could get used to, if taken slowly and if he has the time and opportunity to work through his fears? And could you be patient enough...

Hi Magdlyn, #2 It's a bit hard to specify what a comfortable small step means, because everyone has different expectations/experiences of what constitutes a challenge. The idea I got from talking/reading about it was that a new step should push a boundary a little bit further than before, so...

Hi there, I'm quite new to this too and recognise the 'off' feeling only too well! The way we've handled it is to have some quite firm arrangements about the time leading up to my husband Astraeus's date with his lover Daedalea, and afterwards. He usually sees her every week for dinner on the...

This is a great article, thank you so much for posting it! I really like the questions to ask yourself, that's a useful approach for anyone who's new to this, no matter which side of the equation they're on (IMO).