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You know,’i rTely disagree with Galagirl, but I will here. She didn’t state it was important; she stated it was a “must have”. In other words- indicated a lack of flexibility in how poly “should” be done. And also a willingness to dictate what and how people should do in their own...

So, just so you know— I’m pretty mild-mannered, but I would definately bristle in being told that I needed to have a joint calendar. And I suspect it is perfectly okay to asset “you canmt tell me what o do.” The middle ground is to assert- “we haven’r done it that way. It hasn’r felt Right or...

That is beautifully said, and a life beautifully lived, IP

And Kevin, that is the perfect world- involvement. Thank you.

Yeah I would. but it sees to be much harder to find a primary partner of ypu’re alreadh involved with someone already, especially if it is a good relationship, and you’d like to keep it. People in my experience either are looking for someone solo, like them, or someone part time, and low...

I am wondering if I am looking for the impossible. I think kind of the opposite of “unicorn hunting”. I’m looking to date- in the poly world- and keep running into problems that I feel in an ideal world should not exist. But maybe they are human nature, and perhaps my search for a situation...

I guess to my mind, there is going to be time sharing and lack of exclusivity if you transition. Isnit inherently bad to share time? No, people adopt hobbies all the time. Is it okay to neglect your responsibilities? That’s bad treatment whether tencompetition is x-box or a person. Is it...

Think I was trying to say it was not ethical to have poly exceptions, not there wan’t an attempt to justify bad treatment in the name of poly. Are you saying it’s acceptable, or that it exists?

Also, my partner seemed to be bimodal when it comes to poly, potentially happy either way. So it was a known risk this would happen, but not a foregone conclusion. She was trying it out as part of getting back into dating again, and while being loved by and loving two people brought her...

I stand by compersion. I do - or did when I wrote it- feel happy for my partner’s happiness. I know what compersion is- and that was it.

(That’s why I posted in THIS part of the forum. Not the relationship but.)

I will keep that in mind, but I’m looking for a more philosophical than practical discussion here, unrelated (and not all examples from) the current situation. Most other threads had a justification for organizing under their own topic as well. I think i’ve Seen this feedback from you before...

I’d love to hear some tales about transitioning to a friendship with a partner, especially if the motivation was to manage the meta’s feelings, not an actually break-up worthy problem in the couple. The one time I did this, it was a disaster, but I would like to see if others have navigated...

I’m actually surprised no one came on here to defend hierarchy. ‘Ve Had all those things happen in the past year or so, and the blind acceptance of what to be felt like mistreatment in the name of a partner’s feelings was jarring. In me, too- I accepted until I didn’t. Guess it’s s blind...

Someone I’ve dated for about 4 months is deepening another relationship, and while we’re still talking, sounds like part of the fallout is dropping me. There’s still love. Nothing changed. Just- they need time. And I think simplicity. I’m so glad for them that they are deepening...

Thanks. I guess in retrospect, the fear of my partner feeling she had to choose and that she would not choose me was completely justified, and yeah, the handwriting was on the wall. Enough so that I knew by 2 this afternoon when she had not texted following a Day and night with meta that we...

I’ve decided that in my view of ethics, there is no poly exception to treating someone well. In my eyes, limiting contact with someone or telling your partner they must make sure you know first every time you textl someone is as much controlling behavior in a poly relationship where you know...

FWIW, we are now broken up. The three of us were not compatible in a poly relationship. They make a good couple (so did we, but me being poly doesn’t leave my ex with the companionship they needed, among other things.)

And, yes, there’s quite a backstory on intimacy and loss. One that I’m definately appreciating the ability to move through.

That’s a good question and one that will require some thought. Meantime, I had a revelation. Who broke up with who aside, in my experience. no relationship is ever in danger of ending where both people feel their needs are met and are happy. And the relationships where that is true SHOULD...