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I'm 65, hetero male, have had about 10 to 12 relationships in my life, 2 of which were poly, and about 50 partners.

IMO, do what feels right for you and the situation. Personally, I would not start juggling chainsaws until I'd slowly worked my up from simpler, safer items!

And she has a one vagina policy (hers) - for him only. They both need to reevaluate before trying anything.

Bigamy is the term for what you're asking about.

It may be that he's poly, and the open relationship made that clear to him. I would also suggest that you not think of her as competition, but a parallel relationship. Unless she's out to replace you, or he is, then it may work out if you are willing and able to handle it. There will surely be...

Exactly. You are not advocating at all for what you want, and caving to anything she wants. This can only decrease your attractiveness to her, NRE or not. I also think that time you schedule together is YOUR time. Bringing someone else in on your time is highly manipulative and disrespectful...

We both want to know beforehand. In limited special circumstances, it is okay to inform each other ASAP afterwards. This works well for us, and prevents problems and misunderstandings.

I think it would work best if none of the partners are married, and either all live together or none of them live together. As soon as one pair is married or live together, or perhaps even a prior long term connection, there is likely going to be some preference shown between that pair, even if...

Not to be flip, but if you start dating someone else, and tell her that you are, that may make her realize that she can't dominate you, and that you meant everything you said previously. She can accept that you're dating and be okay with that, or she'll decide that she can't change you. Still...

Yes, I wasn't sufficiently clear. My follow up posts will have to suffice for now.

Perhaps you didn't understand the example, and I'm also making a point that there may be a place for a OPP in certain circumstances or for some period of time, if all agree. I've also seen posts where the situation is essentially a one vagina policy, or where it's okay for her to have a...

I don't know how other people think. However, adding a second partner of whatever gender will typically reduce the amount of time spent with the original partner.

Did you feel this way before you initiated the threesome, and if so, why the threesome? Did you have any hope/intention of developing a poly triad or a separate relationship with this woman when you did that? If not, then how did a one-time casual sexual encounter develop into a triad? Were...

From many people's perspectives, it doesn't. However, it will always come down to what each person can handle, and what compromises they are willing to make to keep the relationship(s) intact. There is nothing wrong with that, even if it offends some people's sense of fairness. Life isn't fair -...

It's almost inevitable that there will be rules when first easing into any form of nonmonogamy. There is going to be fear, and jealousy, and these things have to be overcome and managed, and coping methods learned so they don't cause the experiment to end before it has a fair trial. How often...

I agree with the previous poster. I think you do need to discuss this with your husband, and figure out together how to move forward. He may be fine with it. But, what if he isn't? If he thinks he only agreed to a sex-only arrangement, which is what you seem to believe, too, then the answer is...

I've never encountered any problems having my profile on OKCupid and other sites. I know some people at work have seen it, but no one has ever said anything, and I don't think the company cares unless I were to date someone at work and a work-related problem arose because of it. I also live in a...

It's far easier for my wife to find men, for anything ranging from casual sex to a committed relationship, than it is for me to even get a first meeting with a woman. Women - unless they are already decidedly poly and seeking a man (and there really don't seem to be any in my geographical...

Love is not enough. You lack compatibility. If she truly doesn't want sex with anyone, she may only be having sex with her husband out of obligation or because she wants to keep him around for other benefits. She feels safe in turning you down, because you're not offering anything else she can't...

I've had very limited success using OKCupid. Most of the interest I've received turned out to be married women cheating - I stay away from those. I've had some success meeting single women, or women in open relationships, on swinger sites or at swinger social events. Some of them are also open...