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I think the key here is to figure out why the age difference or her youth is bothering you. It doesn't seem plausible that she'd be a threat to your relationship, no matter how emotionally mature she is. At her age, it's unlikely that she'd want to "steal" him away, and before long may well want...

I met one long-term partner at a swinger meet and greet. I knew her bf, we were talking, and she joined in and we hit it off. When they broke up, she continued seeing me. Another I met online via a dating site almost 15 years ago. And one who is still a potential partner is part of a meet-up...

You may have lost your drive, but have you lost your enjoyment of sex as well? The urge to get sexual may be gone (whether it may return is a complex subject), but if you still enjoy sex when you have it, let yourself respond to any initiation your partners make. You can have responsive desire...

You have her permission, regardless of what you think about her level of enthusiasm. You can't decide for her, so act in your own best interests. That may lead to meeting someone who is a better overall match, and eventually breaking up with your present gf - or she may decide that she doesn't...

If or when your husband finds a new partner, he will probably throw out the new rules. He may only be okay with poly when he's got someone too. This is mainly a fear response, and usually those are not rational. His fear is losing you, I think.

Does your husband want someone else more than he wants you? He may already feel that he's losing you to your boyfriend, and he has no-one to fill the gap. I think it's generally true that women have a much easier time finding someone else (although the focus may mostly be sexual) than men...

Fairness aside - there's no way it can be fair or balanced under the circumstances, nor is it likely it would be even if you were working locally all the time - she's previously shown unwillingness to abide by reasonable rules and has effectively lied and cheated even in a scenario in which she...

I agree with you, except she isn't and can't control what the OP does, she can only try to control what he does. It's not about the OP (unless she spoke directly to the OP about it) - it's about them. Whether or not the OP works with this for a while or not is her choice.

Not in the long run. But maybe in the short run if that gives her a chance to figure things out. I understand you have your principles, but they seem to lack an element of compassion, and seem as unyielding and judgmental in nature as the veiws of staunch monogamists. Do you think everyone...

I both agree and disagree with what's been said. Yes, in an ideal world you wouldn't have to deal with the reality of envy and jealousy, and would only have to concern yourself with whatever you and one other person agree upon. In the real world, people - especially inexperienced people like...

It doesn't matter to me what other people have as rules, or that they have no rules. Perhaps I'll learn something from their ideas, but that does not mean that their ideas are right for me or my relationship(s). I also don't care what philosophical basis anyone has, nor do I feel that one view...

You've discussed opening your marriage with your husband, in the context of a female friend. Have you discussed it in the context of another male? If not, that's step one. If you have, then you should discuss this potential boyfriend explicitly. There is potential here for something good, but...

I read about it in my teens, and it made sense to me then. However, I never pursued it and was in a bad mono relationship for 24 years. Soon after I ended that, I entered a new relationship with a woman who was poly-oriented as well, and had someone she wanted to resume seeing as a secondary...

I agree that you should pursue what is right for you regarding any new relationships, subject to your ability to handle them. Remember that making any changes or additions creates a dynamic situation. This may affect your current partners in unpredictable ways even when discussed in advance, as...

My standard would be informed consent. That is, the person consenting does so based on adequate disclosure, knowledge, understanding and a perspective of society and culture. As an example of uninformed (unacceptable) consent, in my view, fundamentalist Mormon polygamist wives are incapable of...

I can see plenty of potential for problems, but of course it may all work out. However, you and the other couple came to this via swinging, which is a different mindset. To me, it would be reasonable to have all of you openly discuss the changing circumstances and how it could work - if at all...

You say you're not given a choice. In that case you make your own choice, and deal with the consequences. I think you are clinging to a toxic relationship because of the few things you are afraid of losing. She is controlling you through your irrational fears. I was afraid for too long to leave...

Do you have children with your husband? I wonder if some of the problem is that she got pregnant by him and you are upset by that on some level - perhaps subconsciously you wanted it to be you?

If - after she reads the book and you both discuss things thoroughly - she still insists on her restrictions, you can either accept them or inform her that you will no longer follow her rules unless it suits you at the time. If the latter, she may adapt in time, or freak out and dump you. Is...

I would disagree. You are simply rationalizing self-serving behavior because you want to pursue your own sexual gratification regardless of potential harm to others. You can find someone else where this dilemma does not exist. There's no real harm to you if you pass up this person, and probably...