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London, that is not how it went down at all. FWIW, with my former romantic partner, I asked him to commit to only having one LDR, me. I was completely supportive of him having as many local partners as he liked. The reason I asked him to commit to only one relationship that involved significant...

It's hard to know where to start here. First off, is your female friend even poly? If she is poly, and her boyfriend is as well, there may be a clear field for her to date both of you AND her boyfriend, depending on what kind of agreements they have. She is not his possession, after all. He...

About a year ago, my beloved long-distance boyfriend of almost two years told me on the phone that he suddenly wasn't feeling romantic where I was concerned. We had had some friction around me wanting more of a commitment than he did (I wanted us to commit to being each other's only...

The OP's husband coming out as poly to his family will absolutely affect her too, and therefore she should have input into the decision. I have a former partner in a long-term marriage who came out as poly pretty freely to his relatives and his wife's relatives, whom he regarded as his family...

Polyfidelity is just one subset of polyamory. Restricting yourself to a closed group of two or more partners is not what makes one poly. There are swingers who restrict themselves to sex only with another particular couple or group, and won't sleep with outsiders. They are not poly, even though...

I can't have a partner in common with my husband, because I am heterosexual. He cannot have a partner in common with me, because he is also heterosexual. Thus, we are not able to have triads at all, period, we have only had vees and quads. I find it so strange that so many people, poly ones...

I think that being poly can enable us to stay in relationships that would not be tolerable if they were our only one. I am thinking of my first poly boyfriend some years ago. We loved each other and our intellectual and emotional connection was off the charts wonderful. However, my physical...

It sounds to me that G didn't want to have a child with anyone but his wife. And it certainly sounds like L didn't want him to have children outside their relationship either. If this is the case, I am wondering why you proceeded with the pregnancy in the first place.

I completely agree with Dana. The OP was really brave to post what she did, knowing full well that many here merely read the word "veto" and start foaming at the mouth.

Except there is a huge difference between a person pulling back and deciding they need to work on themselves, to make themselves a better poly partner, and a person being told 'You are bad at this. I am obviously brilliant though, so you can't do what I can do...' Agreed, Natja. I was talking...

Vis a vis the movie, I think, if there is a film you really want to watch with your wife, you need to tell her so. I'm assuming that she didn't know that it was important to you for her to watch that movie with you? Are you getting enough social life together as a couple? Maybe you could...

Vis a vis closing the OP's relationship, I don't think that is always necessary. If one partner of a committed couple is able to pursue a healthy relationship outside the primary one that does not impact the primary one negatively in any way, nor take focus away from nurturing the primary one...

I don't think you did anything wrong, theveronica, although I don't think what you did constitutes a veto. I think of a veto as a statement that you are not okay with a particular person being in your lives. However, it doesn't seem to me that your husband's former partner was really the main...

Resounding agreement with Natja and the advice of "wait until the wife sorts through her issues." I was once in a quad with a couple where the wife had some serious issues with anxiety. The husband was my boyfriend first, and when his wife indicated interest in dating my husband (likely because...

This was informative: http://www.ehow.com/about_5390400_legal-paternity-rights.html It appears that in order to get a court-ordered DNA test, your boyfriend would have to be able to prove that he has some reason to believe he is the father. Can he prove this, did you leave any kind of paper...

I am wondering, might it be helpful to take group sex off the table for now, just be with each other one on one? Then you wouldn't have an opportunity to compare how he is with you versus how he is with her. You could just ask him if they had a nice time, and leave it at that. I think it's...

I am concerned that you say you have NRE for someone you have never met face to face, and who you have known online for only a week. I think it would be very wise to calm the heck down and remind yourself that you don't know this person. She is a source of interesting conversation (I hope) at...

Yes you can veto individual things, processes, relationship structures, but in the end, those are boundaries, maybe even negotiable. A Veto is a destroyer of all things good. No more contact, no more love, you are D listed. This didn't make total sense to me, Ariakas. I have both vetoed once...

Yes, I noticed that after I posted, Magdlyn, but thought my advice might be helpful anyway. The OP could still have low testosterone, it is both common and underdiagnosed.

I had a long-distance relationship partner who had this issue. He was fine with his wife, but he was unable to get and sustain an erection with me until after we had spent four weekends together. He has low testosterone, but he was being treated for that when we met. I suspect that his...