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I think it is. Its showing us what each other needs and wants and how to deal with situations.

Of course. And better communication.

Transparency and trust. Those are the big ones.

We're working on some counseling, both individual and marriage. I'll end up telling her. I've tried for the sake of our relationship because she wanted this, but I'm not comfortable.

Not yet. She knows I'm uncomfortable with it at the bare minimum.

In all honesty, I don't want my wife out with another man.

I think she meant me and my wife going out.

I have a checking account, and we have a shared account. Both of my jobs get direct deposited into my account, she transfers what she needs for bills and pays them from the joint. When she goes out she uses the joint account, and if she needs money she transfers it from me. I'm actually going...

Ravenscroft, I know the feeling all too well. I'm the breadwinner, she's the sahm. There always seems to be money for her for trips to her parents/him but not for dates for us. She spent almost a week out there, saw him for 4 days. His kid and our kid and him and her did some events, him and...

Yes I do, but it looks like she wants a divorce.

You are absolutely right. I don't think I'm asking for too much. The wonkiness is losing me, and isn't fair.

You are dead on. Thank you so much for this. That's exactly how I feel, she got caught, she found an article on polyamory and decided hey, this is what I want. Hello delicious cake in my belly, sorry husband. If it was under different circumstances I think I would be so much more easier with...

I see where everyone is coming at. If she's willing to reconcile, there needs to be some changes, especially if she wants the poly relationship to continue to work. I can't be all work and no fun anymore.

I need to quit letting things bother me. I think once I can do that, I'll be in a much better place. I do have that fear of being replaced. I feel like a doormat most of the time.

I like that. I have lost who I am somewhere along the way. I need to get myself back before anything can happen.

I feel like it's very much one sided. She gets the benefit of having two relationships while I get nothing in return. I explained in the other thread, well tried to.

That's exactly how i feel. I agreed to the poly relationship to possibly salvage ours. With no transparency and her hiding things it has been hell. We've been going to marriage counseling but I feel that she's in her own world, feeling like she can do what she wants because I gave her no...

The insecurity I feel is that I can't provide enough. She might need more attention than I can give.

She watches the boy when she visits us for sure. Mil lives 4 hours away. We're working on babysitters and respite for our son.

I think maybe I'm a little bitter. With me its responsibility of working two jobs + raising a special needs kid. When she's with him, her mom usually watches our son. There isn't the reaponsibility. Part of me is questioning her because she decided to bring this up after I caught them in an...