new from pittsburgh

L

lanman

New member
Hi, my wife came out as poly, I'm mono. I'm here to learn about coping with jealousy and my emotions. Her other partner is a ldr and they don't get to see each other often but have been friends for 20 years.
 
welcome here. :) There are some great threads and answers about emotions and how to learn to deal with them here.

when you say they don't get to see each other very often - how often is that?
 
BrianneGoddess said:
welcome here. :) There are some great threads and answers about emotions and how to learn to deal with them here.

when you say they don't get to see each other very often - how often is that?
Click to expand...

A few times a year? She sees him when she goes to her parents house (Baltimore) and sometimes he comes here.
 
lanman said:
A few times a year? She sees him when she goes to her parents house (Baltimore) and sometimes he comes here.
Click to expand...

I take it then that the jealousy springs mostly from the intensity of their time together since it's so sporadic. There must be a growing excitement as the time gets closer, and I assume that little else makes it into her thoughts (or words?) the closer it gets.

And I assume you have to deal with the elation and sadness after their visits too.

Perhaps understanding the intensity is a good place to start in unravelling the issues in your head and heart :)
 
Some of it does, yes. With him she has no responsibility. No stress. With me it's working two jobs, a special needs son, and responsibility.
 
lanman said:
Some of it does, yes. With him she has no responsibility. No stress. With me it's working two jobs, a special needs son, and responsibility.
Click to expand...

Welcome! If I might ask, what do you get out of the arrangement? It doesn't have to be another relationship, if that's not what you want, but does she take care of your child for a weekend so you can pursue a hobby, etc.? If one partner feels like a poly arrangement only has benefits on one side, it can definitely cause some resentment.

How long has your wife's relationship been going on, and how did the two of you decide she could pursue a poly relationship?
 
Greetings lanman,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I have looked at your other thread, and responded there briefly. It sounds like your wife is all caught up in NRE, and is forgetting her husband at home. Do you feel like she sort of takes you for granted?

I hope we can help.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
GreenAcres said:
Welcome! If I might ask, what do you get out of the arrangement? It doesn't have to be another relationship, if that's not what you want, but does she take care of your child for a weekend so you can pursue a hobby, etc.? If one partner feels like a poly arrangement only has benefits on one side, it can definitely cause some resentment.

How long has your wife's relationship been going on, and how did the two of you decide she could pursue a poly relationship?
Click to expand...

I feel like it's very much one sided. She gets the benefit of having two relationships while I get nothing in return. I explained in the other thread, well tried to.
 
Hi lanman,

I take it you would like her to show you some attention and affection?

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
:( ... sorry to hear that ...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top