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Totally. I know they do! I wish they could here. Paul realizes that if we give monogamy a shot, it might not work. He's still interested in giving it a go. It's only a matter of my ending things with my partner, who I love, but who I don't necessarily want to be with into old age. The...

Thanks, everyone, for your thoughts. I'm still struggling! I'm taking some space (less/no sex/rendezvous) from both partners so I can think without feeling whiplash going between new and old love. That has been really confusing. I've been told that if a mono person can't accept being with a...

Thank you both!

Hello! Things are moving along in my relationships. John and I have been connecting well and working through some difficult conversations I would have definitely avoided in the past. I'm being honest with him about where I'm at with Paul. Paul and I have been spending a night, maybe about 24-36...

Thank you so much, everyone! This is all quite new to me and we're all doing our best to do it "right." I really appreciate them both for being open-minded and open-hearted. For the time being, I'm going to do my best to appreciate the moments I might take for granted with my long-term partner...

Hi everyone, I had a breakthrough a couple of years ago while reading Ester Perel's State of Affairs––after once again developing feelings for someone outside my relationship––that I might be polyamorous. Prior to reading the last couple of chapters on non-monogamy, it had actually never...

Thank you!

It's over with the new guy. Though he knew about my partner and the open relationship and still actively pursued me, when polyamory came up and he realized I had feelings and wanted more, it all became too much for him. In a way I feel used, like I wasn't taken seriously because of my...

I thought I would give you all an update. Everyone's advice has been really helpful so far. Before I went to bed I was resolved to talk about it right away this morning, in the most compassionate way possible. I had to advocate for myself. It kept me up for hours. My partner and I talked this...

I definitely need to find a good counselor around here. I'm talking to my therapist on Monday and I'll see if she has any recommendations.

I think I'm trying to be strong for no good reason. I do NOT want to break it off with the new guy. I'm completely smitten. I feel like I'm fucking in love. It's screwing up everything. I have a headache. I want to cry. I don't want to end it. If it were up to me, I'd just keep cheating. That's...

I would say that's jumping the gun a bit, as he has told me he's going to keep thinking about it and doing research. As I mentioned in my second post, he's open-minded about it. He's just not there. How are some ways I can get him there? I understand that I didn't start things on the right...

I've read Ethical Slut, Polysecure, Esther Perel's The State of Affairs (I read that first, which was how I arrived at polyamory in the first place), quite a few blogs/articles and listened to podcasts. I haven't read Opening Up yet, but I will, and will recommend it to him. He has mainly...

Those are all great questions. Thanks. I'll keep the conversation going. I will update.

I talked to my partner last night. I didn't disclose the details, but I said there was someone I was interested in and I wanted to talk about where things were at in terms of openness. I guess we weren't on the same page at all. He is being fairly open-minded and it wasn't a bad conversation...

Hi everyone, my partner of 10+ years decided last year that we were interested in either opening up our relationship or being polyamorous. I am personally interested in pursuing romantic, emotional sexual and social connections. He might be more on the open casual sex side. He's aware of what I...