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Transitions can be tough, but I can see you are doing this because you really care for each other and want each other in your lives in whatever form is best/healthiest for you both. I've done it, well, something like it. Of course I've managed to be friends with exes, but I've also had a...

Hi queen! And welcome! My first poly arrangement was much like you describe. I've heard it seems to be one of the most stable. Congratulations! Do you hear many silly questions like the Mormon one? Maybe you can mark it on your bingo card! (I'm from Vegas, btw) So, (not hitting on you)...

Omg! (Slaps forehead) I'm so terribly sorry!

How exciting! Yes, if you haven't already told her about your discussion and your availability, that would be the first step. I'd be honest, and thank her for introducing you to the idea. Maybe admit that she's the reason you had the discussion? You could explain this is new to you and you...

I think you are missing the point. It's not about their needs being more important, or who is most comfortable, it's about looking at and addressing the root of the fear as close to the source as possible and trying to minimize the impact on others who are not involved. Removing the alarm...

How did it go with your talk with your husband? How long have you known her and how much time do you spend together? When she says lifestyle, is she referring to swinging?

How excellent for you! I hope it goes well tonight. Any plans? Treats? Also, any plans for just you and him later? I was surprised to discover when I was first going through that, even though I was ok at the time, I needed a little pampering and reconnect time within a few days after, just the...

I can explain why I think her reasons matter. Because this request doesn't just affect her, or him and her, it affects other people. I think when addressing insecurity and working on your relationship with a person, you should keep the solutions to yourself and that relationship as much as...

I think I understand what you are saying, but can you explore this feeling a little more? Why? Does he feel that way? Are you really talking about the needs of your shared relationship or your need to feel comfortable? Do you think this can slow or hinder their ability to transition from...

Something else to consider that seems easy to dismiss.... When he has sex or is intimate, it's not just HIM. He does that with a partner who may or may not appreciate an outside person hearing about every time they do the deed. I can imagine the poster wouldn't want the tables reversed, as...

I thought Galagirl provided a great compromise. What do you not like about it?

Hehe, yeah, hierarchy is great when you're on top!

Depends on how you are defining "primary" and "secondary" and if it isn't crystal clear to all involved, then that's a discussion you DEFINITELY need to have. You don't have to practice hierarchy to ensure that you guys meet your responsibilities, you know. No need to rank or control to trust...

I don't think the minute details of the argument matter much and can in fact be a distraction from the bigger issue: breakdown in communication. I see a lot of focus on blame, defensiveness, and a lot of lingering attachment to previous hurts/issues that aren't fully healed and so are leaking...

I'm a little confused by your explanation. Why do you think your relationships don't go long term? Is long term your desire? Do you see a difference between accepting that a relationship can end/be temporary and expecting it to be temporary?

Hi Norwegian! So, a few things I've noticed about breakups and divorces is that they are a long, gradual process. It didn't start at the announcement and it doesn't end at the leaving, and the two partners don't go through it at the same pace, so often one is surprised and confused. Many...

I think the first line of that quote can give others the impression that you are not interested in long term commitments or deep love. Maybe that you are just there for fun. That can chase away many potentials. Also if you mention primary and secondary in your profile experienced poly women...

Hi! I have a long term LDR with my girlfriend and wow, it can be hard at times. Especially with the uncertainty about what you can count on/expect with availability, even for simple things like a phone call. So, it sounds to me that it's hard for you to really distill what you need because...

I totally understand wanting to pull away, it makes the world make sense, simple, and fits the narrative of what's going. It's so SO HARD to reach out, trust, be vulnerable when you are already so hurt. Any hint of rejection feels terrible, and in some ways it's easier to push everyone away...

Hello again! (I replied in your other thread) Short answer: yes, it absolutely can work. Metamours don't have to like each other or have their own relationship. Functionally, it's not much different than if he had a best friend or family member with the same attitude towards you. How would you...