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I agree. That does sound like a crisis, but not what I was getting at. It isn't anything but selfish to serve only you when people you claim to care about ask for.you to be there for them. It's not enlightened. It's not evolved. It's being a fair weather lover. It would be different if both of...

Think of something you like to do. Something fun: e.g., riding roller coasters, going to see your favorite band perform, going water skiing... Then think about your partner not being with you when you do whatever thing you're thinking about. Are you still going to have fun without him? Are you...

This word crisis; I do not think it means what you think it means. - Inigo Montoya

I think no matter what your flavor of open is there will be, at some point, someone in the mix wishing to impose their perspective on you. I am in a hierarchy style open relationship. My husband sees a woman who is also in a hierarchy style open relationship. At one point she accused me of not...

You realize you have feelings for Kim on par with those you have for your wife. You talk about it with Kim, but NOT your wife. You are shutting her out and forming a bubble of free discourse with Kim. You are surprised your wife is feeling more need of reassurance? You say your wife and Kim are...

Is it just your GF who is not allowed a personal philosophy or the right to communicate insecurities to intended sex partners or does this apply to applicants as well?

I am in such a situation currently. I am married, not currently seeing anyone while my partner is seeing someone he has been enjoying for coming up on a year now. In working on myself to get better at poly, I have learned that when I am triggered I can't just stop at whatever BAD FEELING and...

Were things going well until you were helping him financially for school? Some people (seen it out of men more often if their romantic partner is helping them financially) cannot handle gratitude without growing resentful or feeling the relationship turn into a parent/child vibe. I'd cut the...

I'm sorry, I guess I got the wrong impression from the threesome and foursome activities. :/ If she needs a primary recognition from her male partner then maybe when she finds one she won't vie for it so much with D and you all can have a smoother association. Hang in there and good luck!

Is there no possibility for a closer association to grow? It would seem Ka is an SO to you and Ki also and really, all of you are to each other. You are intimate with them and have love for them so maybe Ka is struggling with this being treated like 3 straight mono women and one poly guy when...

It is a conundrum and has me wondering the same. I'm in no way admonishing. Just that when it isn't something we need some times it is easy to consider it something no one SHOULD need. But needs vary from what I can tell. And for this I'd wonder if it compounds the problem coloring it as a get...

This hits a grey area to me and one I don't see as being realistically resolvable simply down to one important factor: Informed consent. You don't ask for this information and that works for you as part of the things you need or don't need to know to continue on in your relationship with D. You...

Yeah. Why would there be a problem with the attitude of "you're enough of an adult when I'm horny but afterwards you're a kid and its my house my rules or you'll be grounded"? Age of consent laws are a bunch of crap in the first place without the power imbalance of incest involved. What does it...

They've been together for 10 years and you've known your SO forever but only became romantic 5 months ago. You tried to be friends in the beginning - 10 years ago? How have things been for the last 9 and a half years of knowing your SO as friends. Was it just easier to be her friend before you...

Why do you feel like taking it to her and yelling over it? You know its the person you're dating that is encouraging it. And its a pretty mean thing for him to do too so I don't think yelling at her is going to help.

I have gotten so much good advise on here. Thank you so much! I figured an update would be good. So I did go over and help with food prep. It was much more pleasant than I'd built it up in my head to be. She and I got a good talk in and it turns out she took something he said when voicing his...

Oh Lord yes! Often by the time I've once again gotten it through to him that he is taking away my agency, I can barely remember what it was for. And we do have to have this refresher argument every so often because it doesn't stick well with him. At least after last night, the afternoon of...

Yeah I went through those communication style lists and I'm kind of all over the board. You are right, I am not as clear as I could be and will sacrifice of myself rather than protect myself. I'll use vague statements and after a while if I keep getting put back in the same situation again and...

I know its forever long but thanks for taking the time. I get about not making people to read my mind. That part really doesn't apply to my style. Pretty much my whole life has been learning to hold a little back because I can be TMI and intense. I DO speak up when I have feelings I'm working...

I’ve gotten frustrated with my husband’s relationship and his GF. I’m sure some of it is due to the circumstance of her being intimate with my husband. I also suspect my growing feelings about being open in general adds to the mix too. I had a 1 ½ long relationship with another guy and it got to...