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If he wants to see her, you don't have to resume relations with her too just because she is wanting. As to being bothered about them giving it a go, maybe its because right now she's all up in your space? Yeah you've had your fun, but it wasn't all up in your spouse's space.

I would caution to assume the wife is behind it unless you have evidence. My husband's ex came up against things she wanted VS what he offered and assumed he only offered what I allowed. It get it; it would hurt more to believe he offered only what he wanted when things didn't line up with her...

Even when I only operated monogamous, sexist attitudes were a put off. That kind of attitude comes through in ways beyond just making anonymous statements online. Poly, being more unconventional compared to mostly monogamous society, I'm willing to bet there is even more reason to avoid people...

Yeah, lofty and pretend enlightened as anyone (in NRE) might like to think they are, even on the job, seniority should count for a lot. They KNOW you. The good, bad, and all in between and love you anyway.

I'm confused too. She doesn't know you're poly and you're going to wait till she moves away from where she lives to be with you to tell her? Does she know you did have sex with London ever?

The court system can't make him pay. If he works a job on the books they can seize his tax return if ever he is eligible to get one and garnish paychecks. But if they are inclined to under the table work or being jobless for stretches, you'll see nothing. They can and sometimes do revoke...

One of the things my partner and I discovered was that we had different things that bothered or triggered us. Its a learning process. What it all boiled down to was that rules don't apply in every situation because you can't predict every situation. The rule of no sex till the intention has been...

You were born male and there is no decision on how to react to this situation that can change that unless that decision is to get gender reassignment. You're human. You feel this decision hangs your self respect in the balance. Keep the "real man" BS out of it. Its an illusion that will only...

If you and your gf have a don't ask; don't tell policy, how did she know to seek out London's profile? Was she just stalking every female profile you have on your friend list and made a lucky guess? However it happened, your gf doesn't sound at all into poly. While its clear you'd like her to...

Unless what you heard is that this person is of a violent nature (they assaulted, raped, or killed someone), I'd stay out of it. I assume your other love is an adult and can make their own choices based on what they experience with this person. An example would be I won't date an alcoholic, but...

I don't think its fair to rest it all on what "she said in the beginning". What she said in the beginning is really that she was okay with FWB. Not this. She gave it a try. Gave compromise. Now it doesn't work and you're in HER home. In your own home she has no say. And you're right, he can't...

I totally get why you want what you want and I believe you are right to seek what you want. However, this isn't what she told him she wanted. She compromised. She tried to share what she invested many years of her life into with you. Now it would seem, to her, that you want what she has beyond...

I wouldn't normally weigh in on a personal blog but... I had a child with my first husband. He was/is an alcoholic and a narcissist. When we split, there were many aspects of who he is and how he behaved I would have loved to never deal with and eliminate from my son's life. Where his safety...

Just for your own self awareness.... This standard you have to conform to and relationship style you're not sure is for you means much compromise out of you and only you. It can lend to a feeling like he is a prize to win. YOU are a prize too, okay? Don't forget it.

I think unless you are curious to become poly yourself, the preferences and boundaries he and his gf chose don't have to be yours. If you can handle that he has someone else but don't wish to know them or meet, stick to your guns about it. They may have reasons for why they want meetings but it...

I think the doubt's come from how trust is so necessary with poly. This situation is a good example. One spouse's trust was broken. An unlikely good outcome for the married couple; they managed to mend. Now the OP has trouble trusting the formerly betrayed partner. Not being trustable can often...

I'm confused why your choice to become sexual with any male friends you make would be something you need to run by his wife. Certainly I can see informing him. I can see that he might mention it to her. But the whole aspect of you becoming sexually intimate with someone with whom she is not...

I'm sorry for the grief you're dealing with in regards to your late husband. Did the affair start in the wake of his death? If so, perhaps your grief caused you to accept a situation you'd normally not be in? But...a few things. You worked with them both and started an affair right under the...

Its been mentioned before many times. We hear the bad more often because people in successful situations don't have a reason to post on an advice forum. The bad situations don't mean its always going to go bad. They're just more commonly shared.

Might be best to talk about the triad situation you're in if you already have a partner in mind rather than triads in general. If you already know this person, talk about your situation specifically with regard to how she feels about it too. Your first post is all "me and the wife talked/feel"...