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Your penises and semen are icky concept is also rooted in misogyny. If they are so icky, and a woman being in contact with a penis and semen makes her icky to you, then you having sex with any woman is an act of aggression. You sully them, ruin if you will, for any other lover as though she were...

Thanks for clarifying. Thinking about how your partner is behaving made some sense to me IF the person he is against was someone with whom you had and affair. Now his behavior just seems selfish. I'm sorry you're dealing with that.

I've only come up against one argument that I couldn't quite dispute. It takes effort to build a healthy relationship with even just one partner. The effort involved in building a healthy relationship with more than one partner can cause instability for all involved. How can you have children...

He is limiting you to avoid addressing all the reasons for why another man in your life threatens him. He imagines another guy will diminish his sexual hold on you. And as long as you do comply with his rule, it reinforces another likely subconscious worry in him - that a guy will assert his...

This might seem a dumb question but, even following the link to your back story provided in this thread opener didn't make it fully clear to me. People's responses haven't helped either. This boyfriend you love that has your spouse on edge - he's the one with whom you had an affair that almost...

I think you need to examine what you're hoping to accomplish by warning your metamour about what your spouse is up to. Firstly, she's a grown person. Let her path of discovery with him be her own. Secondly, she advises him to choices that are contrary to reconciliation steps you suggest. She...

My advice is some quid pro quo. Have a guy over for the same. If the personality compatibility is there, have him around for four days. Point out all his similarities to your husband and talk about moving him in. Some people don't see themselves until they have themselves inflicted on them...

I see this a good deal on here and I've felt some of this with my own partner's choices. He will readily admit he is not polyamorous. He is polysexual. And he has a tendency to the white knight complex. Do you love these women? Or do you instead love the female body and sampling? I ask this...

I'm sorry you're going through all this. It sounds gut wrenching. It seems at cross purposes however, to what you say you idealize, to legally marry in the first place. A non hierarchy relationship model where all relationships are given the potential for equal value would be a little out of...

Its one thing to decide for yourself that having more than one romantic association isn't desirable. You tried it and only you can say if it isn't for you. But the BF you met while trying out poly hasn't had the same epiphany and you will only hurt the both of you to try to force him. He lied...

I'm not sure if your friend did this fake profile at your request, but this was a trickery. I think if you're at this point, you know full well your BF is capable of what you discovered. What you discovered is your BF is perfectly capable making agreements while having no intention to follow...

I'm not really concerned about or addressing the gf's motives. I'm asking the OP about her husband and his standards for how much shit he expects his wife to eat for him to keep this gf. Its been mentioned that he will eventually see this gf's true colors. I don't see how he could be present...

Was he not sitting right there at the table to see and hear her attitude for himself? Just how badly does she have to treat you for him to feel its out of bounds? If he was there and saw her treating you this way, it doesnt speak well for your marriage or him. Her behavior should tell you that...

Damn. That read like someone felt having their faults shared anonymously would lead everyone on this site to have empathy for you out of some deluded belief that you're the only perfect person on Earth and wanted you to list your faults as compensation. I really hope that isn't what's going on...

When dealing with a liar, I'd be wary of even his offerings of what he would want to see out of you as part of "working on the relationship". What reason is there to believe his requests are anything but a wish to remove your scrutiny on his own behavior? I'd have trouble believing I had...

You received harsh words for your inquiry. Criticisms of our character are always harder to take. It felt to you, a lack of regard or as you suggested, respect. I do not wish to piously crow at you for all to see so I can be on the thread home team. I'm dropping a PM to point out that if you...

Since the kids (and all the responsibilities that come with them) belong to both parents, one of them keeping a relationship, in part, as an escape from parenting isn't appropriate. The OP isn't dating others so it will always fall on her to pick up the slack. It can end up feeling like her...

It's a little concerning that when he wants to dabble in non-monogamy, it's okay and your need for this is met. Then when he doesn't want it, you have to stop. Then when he has enjoyed the flirtation and attention of others......see the pattern you're sharing here? He wants it and you get to...

There isn't much point in contractually creating a couple and building a life as a couple unless you are prepared to prioritize as a couple. That's probably why it isn't everyone's cup of tea. Its also why some people might not want to enter a relationship with someone who is half of such a...

It isn't about playing by anyone else's rules. We each have an idea of how we want to be treated. He did what he did and she can have an opinion of his behavior. It's interpersonal relationships, not baseball.