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So, also in the network is my other lover Fandango and his wife Tango. Fandango is absolutely devoted to Tango, and says so clearly. It is so beautiful. He is also utterly devoted (though not quite as smitten) with the others of us in his network, and lets us all see this about each other, while...

Galagirl, as usual, right on, except Apple, Banana and I were a triad to start. So I guess neither Apple or I stood up for Apple and my right to sleep together, both trying to protect Banana's feelings in a way that was ultimately unhealthy, postponing sleeping together for over 3 months past...

Do you think I maybe don't have problems with the metamours per se, but problems with how the partners relate to me? Like, I had problems not being communicated with, or being given sexual freedom, or being stood up for, and my subconscious mind is saying, "I don't like this, but I can tolerate...

Jealousy with some partners and not others? I am in something between a v and a triangle, and have a non-related partner as well. I have had a really hard time with some metamours, and not others. I'm trying to decipher this. Here are factors: The partners of metamours I have an easier time...

Spread too thin- that's it. Thank you for putting words on it. That's a great way to think of it.

I like the distinction between a temporary blip and a long-term untenable circumstance. I think that some of my needs are being met less often than I would like right now, and that work needs to be done on the underlying issues (internal blocks, depression, maybe either clear asking or...

And yeah, I don't think I'm looking for normal. I'm looking to see if it's acceptable, and the only one who can answer that is me.

Helpful/interesting answers- thanks! Still interested in input, but I think I've answers my own question- the line between solo polyamory and interdependence within a relationship is where I say it is, and it has gotten crossed. One thing about us: communication does really seem to help...

Background story: I was 28 when I married my husband, having done the whole "no sex before marriage" thing, only to discover we had way different sex drives. In retrospect, my guess is that he was close to asexual. Whereas I have rarely had all the sex I wanted- and the one time I did, I had...

Not offended, but yeah, I felt judged. Like you were saying I didn't know enough to define what was a triad and not. Sort of a sore spot because that's the skeptical reaction I get from mono folk a lot. So a button. Same with the other comment - like I didn't know enough to know that jealousy...

Nope. I was worried we had a unsolvable problem. This conversation isn't feeling good to me. I'm editing this to offer to either respectfully bow out between Magdyln and me or explain why, privately or on forum if she(you) would like a reason. Magdyln, You have a lot of good insights, And I...

Nope. I was worried we had a unsolvable problem. This conversation isn't feeling good to me. I think I'm going to respectfully bow out.

Magdyln, your calling this a "so-called triad" really bothers me. I seem to see some other situations that aren't mine being projected on it, and I think I'm ping to correct those, but I'm not sure we'd have a productive conversation, with this perception/distortion in place from both sides, so...

Jealousy was playing a part - not because I was hugely jealous, but because I usually deal with jealosy by figuring out what needs I have and asking for them met, and it wasn't so easy here. So I was freaking out a but, not because I was feeling hugely jealous, but I had an seemingly unsolvable...

So, I thought I might share bits as I felt them coming up. I'm jealous. I don't like it. I've just been told by one partner, putting into words what was evident , I the kindest way possible, and with concern for how it would impact me , that she has low desire for me and moderate for our other...

If any of you have had a partner that is romantically strongly connected but physically significantly lower drive to your higher drive, can you share stories? And how to find peace with this? I would share mine, but I can't even find the words and thought hearing from others might help.

We talked. We're still talking, as there's a lot that came up, but looks like there was a lack of or miscommunication about time frames, and willingness, and what would be needed to merge, and we're all feeling it can be done, but will take a reasonable while. Independently, we all have the...

And, yeah, I think that I need to be up front that I'm also not seeing kid/partner compatibility (I've been suspending judgment) and 14 years is a long time.

We're an open model. We all have one other partner each, and spend the most time with the three of us. So opening up is not new. Opening up to potentially another primary, as much as I hate to use the word, as I don't considers other partner secondary, just more part- time - that is new...

The only thing a potential new partner would bring in that my partners wouldn't i wanting to live with my kids. My kids deserve to be wanted, so this is a deal-breaker for me.