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They identified as poly more than five years ago and saw the disappearance of sex in the last four years. That means sex wasn't an issue when they IDed as poly, which is evidence it wasn't a strong motive for becoming poly.

I imagine Jane is tone deaf (not listening to what you're sayiing with any empathy) because most folks tend to be tone deaf and superimpose their own situations and reactions on what other people say. She would only consider sex with somebody else to "spice things up," so she projects that on...

Aggggghhhhh! That hurt!!

They are both adults, right? How about you let them figure out what will or won't work, in the manner that adults do? Yes, she may be late in learning lessons the rest of us did at an earlier age, but it's still a part of growing up that she needs to accomplish. He may see quite different things...

That's for them to work out, not you. One of the things about adult relationships is that you have to let the other adults work out their own relationships.

It's a sign you've been married for 15 years. That exact thing is not uncommon in lengthy marriages and has nothing to do with polyamory. Does it have to remain that way? No. I suspect a search on "recapturing the spark" or some such will garner a great many resources for how you can rekindle...

Seriously, you may want to check the sexism at the door. I don't care to chase and never have. So much for the notion that liking to chase is part of being a man.

The titles mean nothing. At one point, I'd set up different titles and post counts to achieve them and Olivier nixed it. That leaves the titles both useless and no fun. Ah, well.

What do you mean by "let go"--are you speaking of her allowing for another partner for him or something else? Her "wedlock" is just fine, as the two of them appear to have a happy relationship. Him having another partner, from the description we've been given, hasn't had an ill effect on their...

That was quick and painless. Large, easy-to-read buttons and so forth. Cool.

Dude, you've only been in contact with her for four months and have yet to meet her? There's not enough there to claim a relationship. And if she's hooked up with a friend she claimed she wasn't able to date in the past and now wants to date him at the same time? The red flags are out and...

Why are you adding more people to the mix when your relationship isn't ready for it?

This topic has been moved to the Fireplace because we don't believe it to be about polyamory. The commercial nature of the relationship is what removes it from the realm of polyamory--if the relationship wouldn't have arisen without the commercial aspect and only continues because of the...

I agree that being made-up doesn't automatically make it stupid. What makes it stupid is that it takes a clearly-delineated term (monogamy) and then tries to use it to describe something that is clearly outside the term's meanings. "Monogamous" excludes having more than one partner...period...

I'd say it's one of those stupid things people make up when they're trying to describe something that doesn't have an established term. Being involved with two people is polyamorous--no monogamy involved. They may be involved with only one female-aspected person and only one male-aspected person...

I've never understood the fascination with poly tangles wanting to get all cozy and co-habitate in smallish places. The thought of sharing a bed with multiple people leaves me cold. I've also not heard a majority of the polyfolk I know speak of wanting such, so why it's regarded as a widely held...

I wouldn't hold my breath waiting on him to acknowledge this site.

Ditto. I like this one so much better! Removing the extraneous kink material to leave just the relational material makes for a much cleaner mapping.

Most of the time, when folks are hollering "What about the children?" the issue at hand has nothing to do with the children. They're trying to offer a rationale that has more legitimacy than a simple "We don't like that."

I'm uncertain anybody active here would identify as a brother-husband. We do have folks involved in MFM vees and triads, though. It'll be interesting to see if anybody does identify in that fashion.