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  1. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    I actually didn't realize that google calendar had a whole family functionality like that. Until recently, my schedule has never really been complicated enough to need a calendar, so I never really used one. Now to learn how to apply my positive energy to administrative work. It's time to...
  2. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    Can anyone reccomend a good callender app for this purpose? Physical things aren't safe around the house. We have a dry erase callendar magnet, on the fridge that the boy hasn't managed to destroy, but he will still just randomly wipe everything off, so that's not reliable either. An app might...
  3. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    Inaniel, thank you for checking my confidence. I don't want to disregard the way I've behaved. I just feel like I understand how I got to that point, and I am perfectly capable of keeping it from happening again. God, how many guys use the "baby, I've changed" line? I know those words are...
  4. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    Okay, I see your point. As for my "perceived apathy" statement, she tends to loose her temper when she thinks I'm not taking her seriously. She starts to hit hard with statements about how much I've put her through, and how impatient I am for her to get past it. She will get past it when she's...
  5. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    The poly thing was her idea, but I don't think she feels like she had any need to prepare for the transition, because she's lived that way before. And if I say something about something I think we need to work on, she tells me that I have no right being impatient with her, considering the...
  6. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    That hit home. Of course I haven't forgiven myself! I don't feel like I can do that until she's forgiven me! Is that more codependence? I feel like if I forgive myself first, she'll just see it as my not thinking I did anything wrong. I don't want to do anything to make her think that I don't...
  7. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    Okay, so when I speak of being emotional and irrational, I mean that when I feel emotionally strained from anger, guilt, shame or the like, I struggle to express myself in relevant terms. The emotions take center stage, and the issue that caused the response does not get effectively discussed.
  8. Polycurious_Adam

    I should have known!

    Okay, I need to check in again. I've been dealing with a communication crisis for a couple of days, related to a years-long struggle to communicate more effectively. For the majority of that time, I was oblivious to the issue. I thought everything was fine, and I didn't see that my behavior was...
  9. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    So it turns out that the relevant issue that I was missing is a vestige of my codependence. I'm very empathic, and I have a hard time ignoring it when I see something is bothering Ms Fisher. When I asked her for a moment, I could tell she was upset, but wasn't expressing what she was upset...
  10. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    Okay. I think I found my balance in this situation. I'm pretty sure I understand what happened now, but I still think telling her is going to produce a volcanic response. She woke up in a panic, and I can excuse her outburst over it. I waited for calm to settle before I asked if she had a...
  11. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    No therapy that I am aware of. The suggestion for such is in my pocket now. She knows she has issues, but it would seem that she thinks acknowledging it is the same as working on it. She just uses it as an excuse to keep behaving the same way. I'm starting to think she might actually be bipolar...
  12. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    She's gotten better about making time to just be together. When I get home, she gets off the phone, and also sometimes for dinner. Unfortunately, she seems to be using those concessions as a way to make me feel guilty for asking for it. She's asking me why I'm not concerned about making...
  13. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    I am working to correct faults. For a long time, I was trying to stay motivated by my desire for a good relationship with Ms Fisher. That well ran dry when the NRE wore off, and I became depressed, and unmotivated. I have a new found vigor for my own wants and needs now, and she keeps telling me...
  14. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    For a while, I tried to rely on text messages for communicating in a more asynchronous fashion, and for weeks she would not respond to anything, because she had her text notification turned down. She said that she keeps it turned up now, but she's also said that she gets so many notifications...
  15. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    I just have to figure out how to board my own train without being callous about it. I still have to live with her, and if we do end up parting ways, I'd rather it not be in a cloud of resentment. Thank you for your advice. I can tell I'm still struggling to accept some of it, but I am trying to...
  16. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    The fact that I asked for a different arrangement for Saturday before I asked my friends to change the plans they already had and invited me to. I tried to explain to her that I was not making demands, and if she just needed time to think about it, then that's fine. She just won't be satisfied...
  17. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    It absolutely came across as a "house on fire" level thing. She was shouting and cursing at everyone. She shouted at her daughter for looking somewhere she had already herself looked. She demanded that I be the one to check the boys' room because, and I quote: "If I find it in there, I'm going...
  18. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    I do try to take time for sorting my thoughts. My morning bus ride is my best opportunity for that. I just feel like I'm stuck in a loop, and I don't know what else I can process to get out of it.
  19. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    In general, I agree. But the amount of time she spends on the phone with Pete means that if I just waited, I would probably be waiting for days. I'm not exaggerating. I have waited for days to ask her about something. Also, the phone call seemed dormant. I sat and waited for what looked like a...
  20. Polycurious_Adam

    I am so irritated today.

    Last night was a shit show. I got home from work, groceries in tow, ready to make dinner for the family so that Ms Fisher could focus on her work. She had to take a week off because we had to get the house ready for an appraisal, and it had been stressing her out. I brought home steaks, red...
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