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Oh I totally agree with you here. I don't disagree in the slightest. My point is that--most times--those changes are viewed through a lens that respects how huge a change it is for their spouse. All too often I see mono people post who have been approached about this "major life change" in a...

You're not in a relationship with the 'poly world', you're in a relationship with your partners--and they are supporting you 100%, so that's what matters right now. Those who would criticize you, would likely criticize everyone. What about someone who has a drinking problem? Or someone with...

I feel the same way. I should clarify my remarks a bit. When I spoke about the 'threesome' thing, I wasn't suggesting that it *was* every guy's fantasy, but that it is *expected to be* every guy's fantasy. Another example would be if a guy gets drunk and a good-looking woman has sex with him...

While it's unfortunate that you have to part ways with your girlfriend, the reality is that your girlfriend has no respect for you or your feelings. She wants what she wants, and let nothing stand in her way. To be honest, I don't think things would have lasted, regardless of what happened...

(Sorry, I didn't get a reply notification, I'll respond to your points below) I wasn't suggesting that a month is enough for someone to 'get over it'. What I was saying is that if he hasn't been able to make any kind of 'progress' in a month, that says to me that this is a lot more serious to...

With respect, the husband has had a month to attempt to 'work through his feelings' and it's gotten them nowhere. If he had the emotional capacity to deal with his feelings, he would have done so already. I don't need to tell you that men and women process emotions very differently. Men are...

The 'vibe' I am getting from your husband here is one of fear, not just jealously. He was in a relationship that seemed ideal. It was, as you said, something that got very intense, very fast. Then it all imploded. Clearly he never saw it coming. The issue is less about your boyfriend and...

I'm with nycindie on this... There are a number of logical inconsistencies here. What I found 'convenient' was that the wife just so happens to be an ER nurse, so when this 'friend' was injured she was perfectly placed to care for him. It seems odd that the friend's parents wouldn't have...

I'd suggest that when those feelings hit, you start asking yourself, "Why?" If you feel lost, ask yourself why. When you answer that, ask yourself why you answered the way you did. Keep asking why until you get to an answer that you can't ask 'why' to, and then examine that answer for clues...

Honestly, from the sounds of it she's not ok with it at all. I think she may be 'biting the bullet' and accepting poly as a means to keep the marriage. Basically she doesn't want to hear about it, and she doesn't want you to talk to anyone about it, since she likely sees it as 'cheating'...

Personally, I think this is the wrong approach, and it is likely to backfire on you. The reality is that men are far more likely to be receptive to establishing a relationship with a poly woman than vice versa. If a woman puts an ad on Craigslist, saying she is poly and has a couple other male...

The way I am reading this is that the original poster has asked the partner to 'alternate' visits with his partners. So if he has a visit with the other partner, his next visit needs to be with the original poster. What I am reading below it is that he has left to drive back *TO* the original...

While that is certainly a legitimate option, it should be noted that it carries a much higher risk. If she sends a letter asking to have a continued role in their daughter's life, it risks a flat-out rejection. If they say 'no', then it's over. At present it's not 'no', but is more 'not now'...

I think the most difficult part here is that both (biological) parents are still in the picture. If your boyfriend was divorced, and the biological mother was nowhere to be found, then a case could be made that your continued contact with the daughter would provide her with a much needed role...

Can you though? Stop for a moment and consider this... Let's say he has a total about face, and you both move forward as poly. Ignore what you might feel is implausible for a moment, and just consider the following at face value. Within a week he's dating another woman, and he's gushing to...

On the surface--if you look at this more closely--what you're asking for isn't a 'poly relationship' more than you wanting to become poly him and accepting it. While that is fair if he is agreeable, you also need to consider that he isn't like you. While he enjoys the occasional 'swing', the...