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Polyamory at it's core is just having (or the ability to have) multiple romantic associations simultaneously. If two people decide they want to have a romantic association with a third... poof! they are polyamorous. There is no requirement to be a good representative of polyamory, it isn't a...

I don't know anything about your relationships, but what I'm reading here tells me that I'd be gun shy as well. You guys don't seem to have an exactly understanding pattern of communication and are instead doing things like "reading the riot act". Healthy communication involves, at the very...

As an aside, I want to encourage you to look at how you are classifying these feelings. I for one don't understand the distinction you are making, and that could be setting you up for some communication breakdown. Having love for someone and wanting to explore sexual intimacy with them sounds...

Sounds like your friend could use some alone time, as well as some time away from booze, and some close intimate time with a therapist. Unfortunately lots of us grow up with a faulty tool chest for dealing with life, and we just bumble through life figuring out new and exciting ways to fuck...

For me, the biggest thing I would recommend for people moving into polyamory would be to engage your critical thinking. People will give you lots of advice, and people have been giving you lots of advice your whole life (directly as well as in your ambient environment), and I would say most of...

Because I don't want to be the source of discomfort for my partner, I might have the instinct to cancel or delay plans with someone else in order to prevent said discomfort. However, for me that is fertile ground for resentment because what I'm really thinking is "sure, I'll stop living my life...

I would think you'd date exclusively within that social circle. I'm not sure how you would branch out to the "don't have imaginary long term partners" crowd. At the very least you'd need quite a bit of complete honesty right out of the gate just to see who makes the initial cut. Brittan do you...

People's minds change, situations change, and it's healthy to discuss it. I personally would be glad that my partner presumed I am a healthy enough adult to have a discussion about a previous agreement. For me, my job is now to be an adult and live up to the compliment they just paid me. We...

Just to be clear though, this is a person that exists inside your mind and is not an actual person? Do you believe that this is a real person, or is this kind of an "I feel so differently sometimes that I actually have a different internal classification for the distinct moods"?

Everyone decides that for themselves. I would say as long as you are clearly communicating the relationship available to the new person you can have whatever arrangement everyone agrees on. I would classify what you are describing as "strict hierarchy", in that you are the Primary Couple, and...

I recommend approaching a polyamorous dating configuration by meeting people, getting to know people, and being honest about what it is that you think you want. Have real conversations with people, letting them know what parts of a relationship are important to you, where your red-flag "no-nos"...

The kind of interaction you are describing sounds like junior high school kids. Is this sort of "communication" common among the people you know? You are using laughing icons like you think this is normal and entertaining.

Do you think you are polyamorous because you have the desire to have (or at least permission to have) multiple loving romantic relationships at the same time? Or do you think you are polyamorous because a shrink told you this? I personally recommend stepping away from what your doctor, your...

In my world, "not reacting nicely" is a red flag and is not behavior that I will tolerate. Life is tough and we often receive news that isn't great. We don't get to control the events of life but we do get to control how we react to it. If I claim to love someone, I cannot also control them...

Working together under unreasonable time constraints with no time off, and living on top of each other is a great way to build some big time resentment. Currently it sounds like the association is built for failure. It would serve everyone well to take a step back and soberly decide what can...

I have a high need for alone time and personal space, so if I have to share my space with someone 24/7 it very quickly starts building resentment. With separate rooms there is communication about "you want to get together and watch a show and fool around?" or "I'm ordering food, come in and have...

My recommendation would be to take a break from romantic relationships and get to know yourself and come to terms with your baggage. Your story sounds like someone who is in frantic desperate need of a traditional idea of "commitment", and the strict pessimistic view that it doesn't even exist...

No harm in being hesitant, or feeling anxiety about having sex when it represents a significant change in your existing relationship (and view of relationships). Change can be stressful even when it is a pleasurable and desired change. The good part is you are aware that your anxiety might be...

I didn't realize that you were also interested in keeping your romantic interest in Joe a secret from everyone. I had difficulty with figuring out the chain of events, so I misunderstood that particular part. Does Joe want to be a secret? I get that you and Joe have your own thing you are...

I'm sure he does feel like an interloper, because that's how he is being treated. Is he cool with being a clear secondary to Joe? Or is he unhappy and want to be treated as if his relationship with you isn't a dirty little secret? I understand that some people don't mind being relegated to...