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Greenacres, it does feel unreasonable for me to ask that she pack a bag and stay at her other place two nights a week. But that was one of things we had agreed upon using her other place for -- when I wanted to have a date/sleepover at the house. But the reality is that doing so isn't exactly...

Greenacres, you touched upon the biggest dilemma for me as far as living together is concerned. She and I moved into a house that I bought (so it is my home technically). She really helped make it a wonderful home with her decorating skills, and I totally understand how it is hard for her to...

Thanks, Gala. I used to believe that sharing all the details of my other love interests was important to be closer to Karen. But her reactions to those details makes it very hard to feel close to her. I also have come to believe that privacy is important for my other relationships' sake, as...

Hi guys, I've been a primary-type relationship with my partner, Karen, for a few years now. While we've certainly had a lot to work through, I've generally experienced many things that I've wanted to as far as dating others and haven't felt too restricted by our model of relationship. However...

Thanks, bookbug. You're right that emotions tend to hinder clear communication between us. But we have both softened enough around how we'd like the other to be that there is a chance things will work with us. I've learned to tolerate her emotional reactions and give her space without taking...

Thanks, nycindie. Simple words, and a very good reminder. But some of what I do are things that I need to work on, too, like better disclosure even when I know she is going to react strongly. That's where some of her discomfort is coming from, and it is something I am working on -- that...

Thanks for the responses. I hope you're not right, Dagferi. Karen and I are really working on this, but it might be core differences in relationship styles that is at play here, not just things to work on. I like your honesty, LovelyLady. You sound very similar to Karen when she is at her...

Thanks, Emmy. You may be right. She has said that her discomfort with other women is something she wants to work on. It's just hard to support her when the finger is pointed at me for causing that discomfort. I don't know if she will ever be okay with me seeing other women. I want to give...

Hi again, everyone. Karen and I are making progress towards understanding each other's needs and how to meet them. There are still plenty of bumps in th road, but less walls it seems. Yay for communication! ;) Anyway, there is still this "other woman" issue between us, and more and more...

I think those are part of her fears. She thinks I don't choose partners well. But there has never been anything I've done that has directly affected her. Only things that she can't stand the *thought* of are what gets to her. "How could you fuck her?? She isn't that great of person." I...

@ Inyourendo: It may indeed be that time. I tend towards FWB relationships similar to your partner, and I'm wondering how you initially felt about his tendencies. It feels natural and enjoyable for me to pursue several women physically without a desire for more, although I'm open to it. Did...

Thanks for the replies, everyone. Very helpful stuff! @ Galagirl: She is definitely uncomfortable by how fast I am willing to move if I am attracted to someone. I do tend to be more open to sex more quickly than Karen is. There's something about sex that really gets to her. It's almost as...

It is very vague. She wants me to wait until some unknown time when she is emotionally ready to accept that I'm sleeping with other women. It's not necessarily a time thing because I schedule dates when Karen is busy with something, like work or on a date herself. I would like more specifics...

Hi all, Lately I've been struggling with my primary partner, Karen's, consistent request for me to "slow down" every time I'm interested in another woman. Each time I'm getting excited about someone new, Karen wants me to put on the brakes and wait until she feels more comfortable. Only...

@PolyinPractice: I agree with that. I do find it odd that I tend to choose women who are kind of unavailable, though I do like to remain in touch and continue a relationship. They are often already seriously committed to other people, really busy, moving away soon, etc. I feel less inclined...

@ Vinccenzo: I have questioned such things in myself. I do wonder if I am just more polysexual. The only thing that has me hesitant to identify that way is the fact that I am more emotionally and intellectually aroused than physically. What I mean by that is: Even though I am initially more...

@ Inyourendo: That's a very good idea not to say negative things about other potential partners. When I share about others, it's usually because I want to make sure Karen has as much information as possible about the situation. If I mention that someone has some troubles, she tends to latch on...

Thanks for the reply. I think it would be helpful for me to tell her less about the women I'm interested in. The only problem with that is that her and I have agreed to be open and honest about everything, and it would be hard for me not to feel dishonest in keeping information from her...

Hi all! First post here, and I'm so glad to have found this forum. I am in a primary relationship with a woman. Her name is Karen. We have lived together for quite some time and have been dating for 2 years. All in all, it has been the best open relationship I've had, and I feel grateful to...