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I belong to a few online poly communities, this one and on FB. I'm kinky, and many kinky people are also poly so there is a significant overlapping community for me there. Finally I'm involved with my local poly group, moderating and attending various events. Most of my friends identify as poly...

I also had this thought - that this is really a way to segue out of the marriage. It's definitely true that no one should have sex with anyone they don't want to. But the willingness to put one sexual connection on hold for another does not seem like a good sign for the health and longevity of...

Mya, RainyGrlJenny, thanks! It was lovely. I'm grateful for the memories. I've had some important realizations about living situations. I've loved living alone. I've done so since Beaker left. I've valued my space and quiet. Generally living alone has been a good thing for me. In the past few...

lunabunny, Is marriage a necessity for you to move to their country and live there permanently? Like you can't stay long term without it? Are there other avenues for you to move to their country without legal marriage? (Work visa? Investor?) (I distinguish between legal marriage, which is a...

I also would miss the updates, especially because I feel like we are dealing with some similar issues and reactions to being in poly relationships. But you must do as you feel best. I have taken breaks from my blog, and I’ve tried to write not just when I’m working something out. I can see how...

I suggest Dan Savage’s podcast, Savage Love. The shorter episodes, about 45 minutes, are free. It doesn’t matter which ones you listen to, just listen to which ones interest you. You will learn quickly about a lot of different sex and relationship topics. I also find Savage’s ethics match up...

Ravenscroft, you consistently have confused doing poly well with being poly. While I wish all people who are poly also do it well, that’s not the case. You are ruling out everyone who has fucked up from being in a poly relationship. While it would be nice to disavow the selfish, the NRE dazed...

NYE was awesome. Willow and I went to a friend's party. I'm really enjoying having her get to know my friends better. She seems to be enjoying it too. We had planned to leave relatively early to go meet Oak (who went to another party) but ended up staying later because we were having so much...

And now you are on some interesting lists, vinsanity0! (Kidding... mostly.) They may not have been actual horrible stuff but I wonder if these types of titles are ways to pass along viruses.

I'm really glad you posted this Emm. FYI, the spam might also reference sex with animals. Handle as Emm described above.

*gentle internet hugs* (if you want them) I'm sorry your dad is ill and struggling with addiction. That is really hard to deal with. And I'm sorry your dog has an obstruction. That's pretty serious and scary. But I'm glad you can address it medically. Best wishes for your dad, your dog and you.

I think of coercive non-monogamy in the context of fundamentalist religions where some groups emphasize having multiple wives - the wives do not have a choice or much input in who they marry. They are not allowed other partners and same sex activity is banned. These groups at least in the west...

Congratulations! I’m so glad things are well with everyone in your family!

It can be a useful transition tool. I know some folks who had it for six months or so to help them get used to a new situation, new relationship, etc. I think personally it can be unhealthy if it is used to ignore or not deal with a situation. So for instance, if you put a never ever talk about...

Maybe a cat ladder?

I’m indifferent to adding a sub-section for non or formerly poly. Maybe someone start a thread about the experiences of non-poly, inactive or formerly poly folks? That would be interesting. I’ve found the the social group function not used much. I joined a few when I first joined the forum -...

So I’m continuing to ask for what I want with Willow and Oak. They’ve asked me to trust that they care about me. New Year’s Eve is a big deal to me. I have a superstition that the people I spend NYE with will be important in my life for the next year. I’ve been nervous about asking them if...

Has Bloom cut herself before? Is this an old pattern? Ask her, I suspect this is not the first time. I agree that ending the romantic relationship with Techie is a necessary step. But while I wouldn't have phrased as harshly as Ravenscroft did, cutting or other self-harm is a sign that...

Crap, starlight1, definitely time for some new friends! Who needs all that drama? Making friends takes a lot of time and effort but I find it totally worth it. I've spent years building up my network but now I feel like I have many people who have my back in various ways. I'm sorry Shooting...

Best of luck OnceAndFuture!