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Sorry to hear you are feeling sad LMBL.

In all her posts here (and I have read them all) KT comes over as rational and logical in her examination of her situation. I don't think she is dysfunctional. She is just mono. Not only that but KT is also supposed to be the primary. Does 20 years and children count for nothing? Does KT have...

LR, isn't that just a definition of being selfish though? I mean to me, a marriage is special because you do cherish the other person and want to fulfill their needs. That is what makes marriage different to living together. People live together because their needs coincide for a time. When...

Hi Redpepper, I know this is quoted from an old post but I came across it browsing and realised just how much this is my wife. However our dynamic is completely different because I don't react the same way PN does. Usually it will be me that triggers off her anger because it is me that is...

Glad you are feeling more positive Ragabash. It always amazes me coming to an American dominated forum like this how many people are having therapy/counselling of some kind. :confused: Over here in England we don't have that so much. Instead we have a soap opera on TV called Eastenders. The...

Strictly speaking: polyandry is a woman with multiple husbands, polygyny is a man with multiple wives, polygamy is in fact the blanket term that includes both. And yes, most poly relationships on here would not fit into any of those narrow boundaries, so they are not terrifically useful terms...

Hi Ray I am guessing you are very young but you seem very switched on mentally and have a good grasp of your situation. Whatever happens, I get the feeling you are already mature enough to handle whatever happens and you are not going to get seriously hurt. You sound very poly to me, I think...

Happy Birthday Cricket! :D We haven't spoken before but I have been fascinated by you three since you started posting. Hope you have a good one with no unwanted fireworks.

Hi Whimsey, Hope you are OK . I can't help feeling that insisting on the frequent updates did nobody any good. When we first started our polyandry we had very few rules but the one big one was the no-contact rule. And we have a 4 day, 3 day split. So I didn't hear from my wife for a 3 whole...

Hi, girlcaleb. I was interested that you favour the idea of polyandry. That is the first time I have heard anybody mention it on here apart from me. I am in a polyandrous relationship. That is the model my wife identifies with and she thinks of me and her new guy as full husbands. He helps out...

If more sex is something you need, then it is a valid reason to investigate polyamory. Your husband is aware, by the sound of it, and you have broken the ice in a jokey way. Now you need to talk to him more seriously about it.

Hi Whimsey, I have been where you are quite recently. To be honest I think you are going to hurt yourself more trying to put a brake on them having sex. They are going to do it, sooner or later. I can tell you, the sex thing is not that important and it's not going to be the end of your world...

I think you were pretty much right on the money, Redpepper. Several red flags went up for me. A big one is about Kiara being depressed and on medication. Maybe, Mumbles, you should be thinking 100% about Kiara, and making her all better, before you think about chasing down someone else?

A couple of other questions, sorry : Has your long term partner said it's OK to be with other people? (rather than just have more space) And does she know that you are in a relationship with her friend yet? If she does not it may be like a double betrayal to her if it comes out of the blue...

I swear by ephedrine.

I wish you all the best Kat.

I can understand Kat not wanting to post anymore. In any case she was not posting up to entertain us. Our emotions are unimportant . She is probably feeling really down. Really sorry it has come to this for you Kat. God bless you.

This is actually quite an interesting thread. Made me examine myself a bit. The simple bit: I am male, straight, monagamous. Something my wife only made me realise quite recently: I don't make male friends easily and have none. Other men I compete with, I cannot connect with them as friends, but...

With apologies and best wishes to Moonglow (hope you feel better soon Mg) I have found this thread interesting for another reason. I never thought of the possibility that my wife's poly relationship might someday finish. If it ever DID and she was going through "withdrawal symptoms".....I...

primaries and secondaries Are there certain things that mark out a primary relationship from a secondary one? I mean, like, generic things, so you can easily see, "Oh yeah, she cares about that guy more than the other guy. He is the primary." At first thought, I would have said wedding rings...