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Yup. It was a big party though, and I'm pretty introverted, and he's pretty introverted. There was a dance floor, so I just danced and didn't talk to anyone but my best friends that night 😅

It actually makes so much sense to me! Matt is pretty quiet, and I'm really chatty. It's the same with Matt and Fiona, I think. If I ask him questions, he opens up, but it's more a like Fiona and I infodump veryyyy readily, whereas Matt is a lot more careful about his words. They literally came...

Social media was interesting bc it allowed me to tap into a dynamic I feel a lot of the time in my in person connections that makes me uncomfortable hwne they're in person but feels safe on line : the dynamic being -- parasocial relationships. Dating neurotypical people has always felt like i'm...

Also, it's so wild to me how people feel so impacted by me. I have a really difficult time with the concept of being perceived. My sense of reality is being a transient figure, only existing to someone in the moment when I'm interacting with someone. I think i've developed this mentality because...

[[[[[ been broken up ^^^ "Paul", no contact since July. Met Mark the last month I was with Paul, been dating 6 months now. Mark is in a relationship of 10 years with Fiona, and they've been poly for the last 3 (and I think were open for a while before that?). I'm just starting to get to know...

Update! I hung out w/ Fiona last night. I was really wonderful. Matt is a fairly private person. He doesn't offer up information readily and maybe goes a little overboard on not sharing to respect other people's privacy. Which (post history, kinda ex where I was in a no-boundaries terrible...

Yes that's great advice! I'll definitely talk to them about that maybe in a few weeks if it seems like it's heading in the direction that I think it is. I hung out with Matt for the first time since the threesome and asking Fiona to hang out just now. I confirmed something that I thought was...

Thank you all for your kind responses! :) I'm hanging out with both of them individually this week. Gonna stay present and have fun and enjoy getting to know them.

Regarding moving in, I was talking about the extent to which my brain spirals out in happy mode. I would never ever move in with them preemptively!! I identify as solo poly and really need a lot of independence to function well. All of my relationships are pretty orbit-y, like I almost never...

Thank you. :) This is so helpful! I love me a framework! I think it will be interesting to see how my/our feelings about these things evolve as I spent more time with them. OMG, I love your take on the shared experiences. :) I absolutely agree I'm still getting to know him. Yes, I'm...

Thank you. :) Yes, I definitely needed to air it out. I somehow still don't have poly friends irl. It's definitely compounded by some sort of drop, yeah, and a whole list of life anxieties I'm working on now. Mostly I need a new best friend or another partner to get my needs met by. It wasn't...

Two nights ago, I had the most wonderful evening with my partner of six months (M, who is seven years older than me) and his partner (F, my age) of ten years. It was the third time I'd hung out with her, mostly because we're all busy people. I recently realized that I'm in love with him and...

For clarification, did your poly partner break up with her other partners?

I have so many really wonderful memories with him!!! Since I do believe him to be the victim of narcissistic abuse, I do still believe he felt the same connection w/ me as I felt w/ him even if he doesn't realize it right now. I've been emotionally abused before and know the mental hoops my...

I did learn so much!! About myself and kink in a huge way and polyamory boundaries. I really don't believe in soul mates, but I believe he's someone I have a lot of other simultaneous and past lives with. Trying to make sense of why I had to know him so transiently this time around, but I...

And yes, I have definitely learned from this experience. She did like me, but being poly under duress, she was also very uncomfortable with me. And at the end, it was easy for her to blame me for everything. Because I cared about him so much, and cared about her- I took on too much and made my...

:) I am so woo!! Haha. I'm getting my Ph.D. in chemistry but believing in past lives and simultaneous lives is about the only way I've come to make sense of many of my experiences. There are so many people I've felt very deeply about very quickly. I like to mentalize it as - these are people who...

Thanks! I think I'll be able to. It actually feels like the healthiest relationship I've ever been in because the person I'm seeing is very secure in himself and what he wants out of life. And I am too! Just hurt. It helps to share stories so glad to have found ya'll :)

I listened to this episode of Multiamory a couple of weeks ago about forgiveness. I really thought that I had forgiven people after obsessively finding reasons to be compassionate towards the way they treated me. I think that gave me closure in at least not blaming myself. But I don't think I...

Yeah. I mean, finding closure regardless of if I offer myself as a safe person or not is the same difficulty level. I haven't really learned how to perpetually hold the door open to making amends. With him and so many exes. It's definitely a trauma response, but I've tried to learn to appreciate...