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This sounds quite a lot like a situation I've recently come out of (some more detail here: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=78166 - it degenerated further after that but obviously I still work with the guy) Interactions are awkward at present, but really I know it's up to me how...

So many variables I think it's difficult to say whether poly has helped or hurt our marriage, because I can't say what position we'd be in if we hadn't opened up to poly, but my gut feeling is that it's helped. I was talking to my husband the other day about the fact that we've just lost a good...

Hi all :) Thanks for your comments! So an update... It has all but ended really - we had a spat last week, he in his customary fashion isn't talking to me at the moment - expecting me to run back in and try to patch things up, but that just isn't going to happen this time. I've accepted that...

Thanks again - I think your replies have helped me with my perspective, and especially that I need to stop seeing things as all-or-nothing, black and white (which is definitely a tendency of mine!) I can distance myself from this guy and create firmer boundaries without walking away completely...

Thanks guys - I think in this case we both have borderline personality issues, and unfortunately they 'complement' each other so that we both react far more strongly to each other's behaviour than perhaps other people would. In his case, he has depression, anxiety and some narcissistic traits -...

Thanks for your reply - it gave me a lot to think about. To answer why I haven't walked away... well, firstly he's a colleague which makes things a little more complicated, though not massively so. Secondly, I feel at fault here for reacting the way I do to the things he does - at the start...

Hi all :) I've been in a fairly comfortable poly relationship with my husband for a while now - neither of us are particularly active, but we're both happy with the concept and the state of our relationship, however I am looking for advice on the best way to stop outside relationships affecting...

Hi, from the UK also :) My back story is similar to yours - we've been poly for over 5 years now, and it's mainly been straightforward, but my husband did take some persuading in the beginning. One thing that resonated with us is that all the things that can be a worry when opening up your...

The exception to the rule I was drawn to this post because of recent (not again!) problems I've experienced - basically I've got two 'types' - straight talking, straightforward guys who often have Aspergers or similar and I have a simple but perhaps less exciting relationship with them, and...

Thanks Kevin, that was exactly what I needed :) Yes, it's the 'subconscious hope' that I'm getting hung up on - and obviously the fear of loss. I'm hoping to have another chat with him soon to straighten things out, but living in the moment is something I've always found hard! Getting better...

If her boyfriend is telling the truth about the DADT policy in the first place, then his wife's behaviour isn't ideal either. Yes, it's still cheating and the 'right' behaviour is for your wife to walk away, but it's going to be tough on her with this level of feelings involved, so I would treat...

Thanks @NorweiganPoly - I don't think the love's there from his point of view at least, although it's confusing the way things are going. To be honest I'm scared of rocking the boat too much in case it affects what we have. My husband's fine with the idea of me being in love, and our friendship...

Me and my husband have been poly for about 5 years - it's been a fairly smooth ride so far, although I've been a lot more 'active' than he has. It makes me feel a bit guilty sometimes, but it's his choice really. About 6 months ago I met a guy who I developed a close friendship of sorts with...

Expectations I am in a similar situation to you (fairly new relationship, married for 10 years), and my advice is to not be too hard on yourselves. Expect there to be differences between your relationship with your partner and your relationship with your husband - your new relationship doesn't...

Thank you for all your replies; you gave some very useful advice for dealing with my parents in general! In answer to a few of your questions-- yes, they were getting suspicious that 'something' was going on. The kids were mentioning my boyfriend's name a fair bit. I thought it was better to...

Everyone else has given very good advice. To add from a personal perspective, I am the one who suggested opening up our relationship. Initially I was unsure of what I was looking for, but after a bit of searching I realised I was mainly looking for a D/s relationship, and this was something my...

Coming out issue Hi all, We've been gradually coming out to people over the last few years, mainly explaining things as an 'open marriage' because more people understand that term, although in our case it is polyamory. About a week ago I came out to my parents. And my husband has since come...

Hi all, and thanks for your replies. @Mudita, I agree completely, being the knight in shining armour is something he has a history of, though he says he doesn't want to do that any more and denies that he is doing it here, though it's pretty obvious that he is. @Derbylicious - sometimes me...

Hi all, I posted this nearer the start of my first polyamorous relationship. Unfortunately since then the situation has become more difficult with my metamour, and I have nearly ended my 'secondary' relationship twice because of it. I have become fairly convinced that my metamour is a...

Hi redpepper, Yes, those terms describe my mother too. I have spent a while trying to get over the way things were when I was a child, and thought I'd made a lot of progress, but then little things like this crop up that remind me that maybe things are a bit deeper than I realised. I do have...