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BTW I want to thank everyone for their comments. It is nice to be part of a community where people genuinely care about the feelings and emotional stresses that complete strangers may be going through. This has been such a difficult process for me especially because the poly relationship is not...

She is also not sleeping alone, I am. I am the one who is left with a kiss "Good night, see you in the morning". He is keeping her happy and letting her control the relationship without really admitting it. When I hear the way she talks about his girlfriends I know that she probably says similar...

I don't know if a heart to heart to heart will ever happen. He seems to act like he is oblivious or maybe just doesn't want to get involved in the drama. Regardless, she is dishonest, she allows him to think she is onboard with his being poly just to please him. In reality she hates me and all...

If I felt that there was a chance it wasn't me I suppose I would be less intimidated to discuss the whole thing. However, it has gotten to the point that she barely even looks at me and when I talk I feel like she wants to just punch me in the face. Honestly I have no clue what I might have done...

It's funny you say that because, before I came for this visit, I spoke about some of my concerns and fears (the ones I described in my earlier post). His response to that was a whole lecture about solving problems by discussing them and not running away from them and how you grow as a couple...

kdt26417, I feel used to an extent. I also feel like we are sneaking around behind her back, even though that is not the case. If I was in his shoes I would want to sit down with both of us together and discuss the issue. I would want to open up some communication about what is going on and...

June is number one and he shows her that in everyway. He is very romantic and gentle and kind to her. I don't think he forces any of this on her at all, I think this is a matter of June not being honest. He makes it clear to women that he is poly and if they do not like it they do not have to be...

Update I traveled to visit my couple and I have been here a week, I am scheduled to stay for 3 weeks. This first week has been an emotional rollercoaster. I have; however, gained clarity on the relationship and what is expected of me. To simplify we will call him Ethan and her June. I want to...

I can completely relate to this. Since I discovered this site I have been lurking here on nearly a daily basis yet I have not been particularly active in the community. I think the reason for this is I do not feel I have enough experience in poly to offer any real sound advice. I have learned...

Thank you, I did read that as well. I am just trying to figure out my place in a poly relationship. I am starting to see that part of my job is to figure what I feel is fair in the relationship. Sort out to insignificant from the major issues. Besides the distance there is nothing so major that...

I agree with Vinsanity that it is the rejection they are upset about. It is possible that your rejection of their offer made them feel as though you were criticizing their lifestyle choices, however, it is unfair of them to expect you to enter a triad if you are not comfortable with it for...

Thank you all for your replies to this thread. I appreciate the effort you put into thoughtful consideration of the concerns of others. I have spent some time reading up on the problems faced by secondary partners and realize that I am not alone in my feelings. One thing I have learned is that...

I have also found a lot of useful and reassuring information on here; https://www.morethantwo.com/polyforsecondaries.html :)

Not at all. He has never flown off the handle. He is always very calm and collected in all things, even difficult conversations. I have no fear of abuse by him as he is always in control of how he reacts. It is one of the things I find very attractive about him and why I trust him. I do not walk...

As I further consider the problem at hand it does fall outside of the D/s relationship. Within this relationship I am free to talk about my feelings and concerns in a respectful manner (as it should be in any relationship). My fear of talking to him lies in the LDR. I do not wish to offend...

I agree that negotiations and discussions are more for those who play sexy games. This relationship is a lifestyle and we did not engage in that. We discussed early on what we were looking for in a relationship. He is not unreasonable in his expectations of me and his method of "domming" me...

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. As I mentioned in my earlier posts, I know they both care for me and I do feel very safe in the relationship. As a whole, I am very happy and just struggle with my feelings of being left out and less than. I really am grateful to have two wonderful...

He is not intentionally hurting me as an expression of power. The relationship is not based on pain. In general I feel respected in the relationship by both of them. I just struggle with this one aspect. I wonder if it is typical for poly couples to have favorites and if so should the other...

I respect and love them both, and I know they both care deeply for me. When we met she did not live with him, but she took a big risk and uprooted her life to be with him. For that giant display I can understand that she stole his heart in a way that no other woman can. We speak daily, but the...

He is setting the pecking order, however, I know I am not at the bottom as he has other girls as well and he has made it clear I am number 2. I do not expect to be at the top as that is not possible and his live-in deserves that position, he just tends to remind me of my position more than...