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They were initially looking for a triad, not a V, so even though they are "down with the basic premises of polyamory," the new dynamic might not work for them and I can understand that. I feel a little weird about it too, although I'm not sure why. I guess in a way it feels like instead of all...

Thanks. :) I appreciate feeling like someone understands.

I agree that they have to be the ones to decide whether it's something they can work through with me, but I've come to a point where even if they decide they want to keep trying, I'm not sure if I do. Even if they think I'm worth the risk, if I hurt them or their relationship badly, I don't know...

Thanks for the advice. I did ask her that before the weekend trip (and a few times during, I think), and she said she has no problem with me continuing to date him. But after the trip when he and I talked and I found out that the tension this weekend had been hurting her, and by extension him...

Thanks, I appreciate the empathy. I'm honestly going back and forth about whether I even want to keep dating D. I care about him a lot and I love being with him, but I care about M too and I don't want to hurt her any more than I already have. Right now I feel like I'd rather break up with him...

Yeah, you're definitely right about the group dates. If I could do this weekend over, I would probably not go on the trip because I feel like that would've been better for all of us. I guess partially I just wanted to hang on to him when I decided to go, because when we had the discussion when...

Maybe. The hardest part was that she told me this right before the three of us were supposed to go on a weekend trip together. I went ahead and went, thinking it would still be fun, but I think being around both of them all weekend hurt me more than I expected, and caused them problems because...

I'm new to polyamory. I have a husband (B) and I also just started dating a husband (D) and wife (M) couple about a month ago. Things seemed to be going really well with D and M, until a few days ago when M said she only sees me as a friend and doesn't want to date me anymore. I knew from the...

Thanks nycindie! We were actually right in the middle of the discussion when you posted your reply, and it went really well! ^_^

Thanks MightyMax and Karen. I really needed the reassurance about trusting my intuition, in particular. They have been great friends since before they knew I was even an option for dating, and they seem like really caring people in general. I wouldn't have gone out of my way to let them know I...

Thanks for your input, Kevin. I've read that article before, and I reread it just now, but I'm still not 100% sure how to tell if they are Unicorn Hunters. Some of the things the article talked about, I already know don't apply with them. Others, I'm not sure about yet. Are there any specific...

Thanks for your input. When we discussed it, he seemed fine with me being with this couple. So hopefully it won't cause the problem you mentioned.

I have never had a non-monogamous relationship before. My husband and I recently made friends with a new couple, and after it came up in conversation that they were poly, I started to feel an attraction to them. I talked to my husband about it and he decided he was okay with us becoming poly...