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  1. SilverSprings

    Should I invite her back for Chapter 2, now that I am in a happy Comitted RL?

    Thanks! Yes- it is good to think through these things and make an agreement. She is sort of a poly-free bird by nature. Like, this is nothing formal, and much more of a organic free relationship thing. We have said we loved eachother, a while ago, and now we just kind of have this long-term...
  2. SilverSprings

    Should I invite her back for Chapter 2, now that I am in a happy Comitted RL?

    Alright, alright alright! :) Boyfriend and i had a heart to heart- it went surprisingly well! He outlined what he is ok with (her visiting, us having our time together, traveling, re-kindling, being intimate..) and what he is NOT ok with (her staying in our apt, him being involved esp not in...
  3. SilverSprings

    Should I invite her back for Chapter 2, now that I am in a happy Comitted RL?

    Thank you- I never really saw it that way- as a moral issue. It kind of makes sense, because it is something that matters to me. I can't pretend that it doesnt, and it seems he is uncomfortable. However last night he told me he read my email, he honestly had no idea what it was about (he wasn't...
  4. SilverSprings

    Should I invite her back for Chapter 2, now that I am in a happy Comitted RL?

    Great! Actually, that is precisely what I just did. I bit the bullet and wrote a preliminary email, to kick off the conversation ;)
  5. SilverSprings

    Should I invite her back for Chapter 2, now that I am in a happy Comitted RL?

    Lovebunny- I did not answer your Q! Yes, he knew about her from early on. I told him about her, he even met her briefly over skype once.. He knew that I always told him how I would love to visit her and her country (still would) but it is not the safest place for me and I am not entirely comfy...
  6. SilverSprings

    Should I invite her back for Chapter 2, now that I am in a happy Comitted RL?

    thank you! Wow- Excellent replies :) I suppose I can be a little bit impulsive, and that may stem from anxiety based on assumptions on how he would react. Or nervousness causing me to avoid confrontation at all. We have developed a great deep love and communication now, so this should not be as...
  7. SilverSprings

    Should I invite her back for Chapter 2, now that I am in a happy Comitted RL?

    ​Hi there:) Brief intro: I am a early 30's, divorced bi-female. I am in a newish relationship (2 years) with a great guy, from another country. He knows I am bi, i have tested the waters when we lived separately, opening things up. Not always with fantastic results...but it was a learning...
  8. SilverSprings

    Guidelines & Boundaries vs. Rules: Merged Threads, General Discussion

    Setting boundaries in a open relationship My boyfriend and I have decided to outline some boundaries and allow me to play and have light dating with girls outside our relationship (some of you may remember me). I outlined a few points and questions to Frank my bf, and were kind of negotiating...
  9. SilverSprings

    Putting the pieces together, finding my 'model' and myself

    FullofLove, freaking thank you! That is excellent advice all around. It feels better for me to put the brakes on, slow down and chill the F out. Ahhh... Pressuring myself to make a decision in a way is making me feel crazy. I need to do what feels good for me, and being in a tizzy, I can not...
  10. SilverSprings

    Putting the pieces together, finding my 'model' and myself

    LoveBunny- that was so interesting and insightful. Thank you for relating and sharing with me!! I think the big differences are that Frank and I dont live together. Sometimes I think it gives me this entitled feeling of freedom. Once I even accidentally told Frank I was/felt single. :eek: Eek...
  11. SilverSprings

    Putting the pieces together, finding my 'model' and myself

    I figured out the quote feature, sort of. My answers are below. Thank you so much for the time you took to answer and break it down like this, very helpful. *It was my idea, after my breach of trust. to have basic/simple bounds in place. at first, he was totally against...
  12. SilverSprings

    Putting the pieces together, finding my 'model' and myself

    Dagferi, I know. I should have known better... a habit I am trying to break, as I have done that in the past, too. Thank you for the reminder, though. :) FullofLove, yes, I agree. I know we need to get our shit together. The thing is, Frank will not tell me what to do. I suppose he seems to...
  13. SilverSprings

    Putting the pieces together, finding my 'model' and myself

    Soooo, I confessed to Frank that I am looking for something on the emotional side with Anna. It was an email, which I thought was very sensitive and gentle. Fast forward a few awkward hours, he called me. I knew he was upset via a text and weird silence. He proceeded to vent and kind of assume...
  14. SilverSprings

    Putting the pieces together, finding my 'model' and myself

    Magdlyn, thank you. :) I have had light relationships with women, and one girl who I did "love," in a way. We still talk to this day. It was an amazing experience. But I was with my former husband then, and didn't know I would still crave another in my life after my BF and I met. However, that...
  15. SilverSprings

    Putting the pieces together, finding my 'model' and myself

    Hi, all. I wanted to start fresh here, as I think I have had a breakthrough. I think I am really falling for Anna (the new lady in my life of 1 month). Frank (my BF of 1 yr) sees this. It seems he is trying to understand now. To recap without going too into things: After (with BF's permission)...
  16. SilverSprings

    Have my cake and eat it too? Trouble in paradise

    This is all opening up such interesting discussions! As of right now, I know that I am very happy with my BF so I am willing to move as slow as he needs to. He is from a land far away from open/poly-world however he knew just about from day #1 that i was bi, and had been involved with a girl...
  17. SilverSprings

    Have my cake and eat it too? Trouble in paradise

    Well, i do care about them both. I want a friendship at a minimum to start, and with respect to all involved, am trying to go at the comfort level of my man. Am i being too accommodating to him? Perhaps that is the issue here for me, not being able to stand up for what it is that I want. Because...
  18. SilverSprings

    Have my cake and eat it too? Trouble in paradise

    Hey again... so i have been so troubled by what went down here lately and feel in a way it made me reflect on myself and realize that I can't be soo selfish here. I realize i was playing victim and i have had another talk w/ Frank (my BF) telling him that I understand even though we started this...
  19. SilverSprings

    Have my cake and eat it too? Trouble in paradise

    Thank you Sparklepop. Thanks so much. i now realize although very hard, i will have to break it off. Its just off on the wrong foot, and before it gets too intense and since there are flags and my BF and i fighting over this daily (we formerly never even had one bad argument) it needs to stop...
  20. SilverSprings

    Have my cake and eat it too? Trouble in paradise

    eek! i feel like some kind of horrible person or monster here :0 I assure you that she knew well that we were not GFs. She knew well i had a BF. My Bf knew about her and said anything non emotional was Ok. Theres no break up to be had more of a decision or cross roads of sorts as to how to...
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