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  1. C

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    Thank you all for your comments and replies. It does means a lot to me. I can´t somehow make different quotes out of one text. If anyone out there could give me some tipps on how to do it, I would appreciate it. :D or I´ll research a little whenever I have more time. tenK, I know, it sounds...
  2. C

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    So much about V. being withdrawn: A. told me she called yesterday and is thinking about giving it all up: her relationship with the BF (whom she calls husband), her life in Italy, everything. I don't get it and I'm so scared. She KNOWS she can't deal with poly, she's stated it more then once...
  3. C

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    (I didn´t figure out how to make multiple quotes. I tried to, but then the answer get´s inside the quote mark, so I´ll do it this way.) 1. No, she clearly did not want me in the picture at all. That´s also the reason why she said she´s out. She can´t deal with him being emotionally involved...
  4. C

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    What do you mean by something internal? I guess he had some strong feeling - and, as I stated before, he´s very rational. So he probably thought he had to go after this feeling? Or do you mean something like more him wanting to go mono? That´s out of question for him... I don´t get it either...
  5. C

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    So A. just wrote me saying that V. said she can´t do it after hearing that we spent the evening together and I slept at his place (I was out of town for the weekend). She said she can´t/doesn´t want to share him (wait, she has a boyfriend herself). She´s sad she´s fallen in love with someone who...
  6. C

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    Yes, I think you´re right. I talked to A. yesterday, regarding all my concerns and what we´ve been talking about here - I didn´t mention I was in the forum or anything though. He doesn´t think he´s doing anything wrong. He thinks monogamy is wrong and if that´s their choice, they have to...
  7. C

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    So have I. What I don't get is how someone who has already been there - in either role - and decided to go poly would go for cheating.
  8. C

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    JaneQ, Thanks again. I was thinking about it, that face to face you get their reactions and body language. This idea of giving them the letter and asking them to read in front of you is a good one. I'll see if I can organize my thoughts and write them down.
  9. C

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    Oh, I could totally use a hug right now. That's the thing, he's very rational. He's always been, that's how I know him. He is not the type that fall in love and is all head over heals. But he is a compulsive chatter, I mean, he's always online and reply messages really quickly - this could give...
  10. C

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    He said she knows about it and I never questioned because I always trusted him, but right now I'm also not so sure, to tell you the truth. :( but how can I find it out? There's no other way than trusting him. :/ And JaneQSmithe, your letter pretty much sums everything I'm feeling right now...
  11. C

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    Thanks guys for your support. This is really helping me clear my head. I'm feeling really sad. I'm out of town and not really talking much to A. - maybe that's my way of having some space. Maybe it's me trying to see how much I miss, how much he misses me - although I don't know if that's...
  12. C

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    Yes, I definitely don't want to leave him. :( I'm actually so happy with him and we have such a nice, respectful relationship between the both of us... :(
  13. C

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    Thanks for the messages. What GalaGirl said really got into me. "You choosing (to stay with A) or (to leave A ) now that he's become a cheating enabler is YOUR choice and your behavior." (In using my mobile, haven't figured out how to quote) I don't want to cope - even indirectly - with...
  14. C

    thoughts and mixed feelings

    Hi everyone. I posted this as an introduction and Leetah told me to post it here, if I was looking for some feedback. And I am, as I don´t really have a lot of people to talk about poly and sometimes talking about it with my mono friends just make my insecurities (probably because of...
  15. C

    Hello and some thoughts

    Thanks for the advice, Leetah, i will! And also thanks for this quote. I already read it on his blog and I might get the book now. I should show A. this quote...
  16. C

    Hello and some thoughts

    Hi everyone. I´m not sure if this is the right place to post, but I thought I´d introduce myself and also say a thing or two about my relationship and some issues I´ve been dealing with. I'm C., 33, this is my first official poly relationship, although I now can see I've been poly - and...
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