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  1. Midnight_Shaman

    Brand New

    MF couples seeking a bi woman for a third is common to seek but a challenge to find. This is often referred to as hunting unicorns. There are some great threads on this site though with tips on unicorn hunting. As someone who has been a unicorn in the past and enjoys being w couples, I have...
  2. Midnight_Shaman

    Trying out a triad

    I had a bit of a different situation where a monogamous couple with mismatched sex drives asked if I’d be willing to help satisfy the man’s sex drive. We’d been friends for years and I had no romantic attraction towards either and was sexually attracted to her rather than him, but I enjoyed the...
  3. Midnight_Shaman

    Wait, what DID she do? Experienced polyperson but dealing with some new challenges

    People with DID and their therapists can go for years without being aware of the alts and they frequently are misdiagnosed for years. Memory issues, depression, anxiety are pretty common things observed though when unaware of alts. When I first saw Quantum Leap and it described the main...
  4. Midnight_Shaman

    Wait, what DID she do? Experienced polyperson but dealing with some new challenges

    Thanks, Kevin. I suspect you are right that we’ve got some commonalities in neurodivergencies. I was recently diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum too. DID and autism interact in funky ways the researchers are still trying to understand, but if one alt has autism, they all do since it...
  5. Midnight_Shaman

    Wait, what DID she do? Experienced polyperson but dealing with some new challenges

    I met someone at a mutual friend’s house. We have great chemistry when we are together, and I feel like there is mutual attraction, but he may not have much experience with ENM and I have not let him know yet that I am poly… I’ve been hesitant to get his hopes up…and have been trying not to get...
  6. Midnight_Shaman

    Sometimes it helps to test the waters first by bringing up something about poly in a news...

    Sometimes it helps to test the waters first by bringing up something about poly in a news article or movie or whatnot to get a feel for their reaction about poly.
  7. Midnight_Shaman

    Awww, your profile pic is adorable!

    Awww, your profile pic is adorable!
  8. Midnight_Shaman

    I second kdt26417, no need to be scared. I don’t bite…well…at least not without consent. ;) I...

    I second kdt26417, no need to be scared. I don’t bite…well…at least not without consent. ;) I am new on this site as well, but from what I have seen so far, it seems like a place that welcomes and respectful regardless of how new someone is to the site or to poly, or even if someone is...
  9. Midnight_Shaman

    Introducing myself :)

    Hi Chiara, These sound like interesting research questions. I think the first question confused me a bit, though. Reclaiming desire suggests that desire had at one point been lost or been taken from the polycule. “Multiple systems of exclusion” also seemed like one that may be in language...
  10. Midnight_Shaman

    Trying out a triad

    There’s a spectrum of sexuality, I think. I’ve met quite a few people who identify as being straight, but have a person or two they’d make exceptions for, which we jokingly call “straight with an option to bi”. There’s "gay with an option to bi," as well. One of my partners had identified as...
  11. Midnight_Shaman

    I need help

    Something I think is very important here is to identify what you are afraid of. Underlying jealousy, there is usually fear and insecurity. The best way to deal with the situation to minimize hurt for all involved is often hard to see until you do that deep dig into what exactly you are afraid...
  12. Midnight_Shaman

    Why and how did you get into poly?

    In my first relationship, before I knew about alternatives to mono, I fessed up to being really attracted to a female friend of mine. He said he was too and suggested a threesome, but I balked. I didn’t understand my sexuality at that time and felt like he would have pressured things when I felt...
  13. Midnight_Shaman

    Wait, what DID she do? Experienced polyperson but dealing with some new challenges

    Hi all, I am late 40s omnisexual gender fluid female living in the U.S.. I have identified as poly since I was 17. However, some of this was complicated due to untreated dissociative identity disorder (DID, formerly known as multiple personality disorder) that led to me cheating on my spouse...
  14. Midnight_Shaman

    What are married poly women looking for?

    I am in the situation where I (female) have it easy finding partners and my spouse (male) has expressed frustration trying to find anyone. Most of his partners have been bi women I have gotten involved with who found to be into him, but most of those were more of a friends with benefits than...
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