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  1. L

    How long does it take to not feel horrible when your primary and secondary partner are bonding alone?

    I don’t trust just anyone with my kids and certainly not a local teenager. We have one or two close people that do take them sometimes but a few hours is not an entire hotel night. There is still a big difference.
  2. L

    How long does it take to not feel horrible when your primary and secondary partner are bonding alone?

    I think I'm worried about loss of love of both of them, but mostly Steve. He and I have 3 kids, so getting any time like that is unheard of. I can't remember the last time we had a hotel getaway that did not include a child in the middle of our bed or room. So yes, that is part of it. We do not...
  3. L

    How long does it take to not feel horrible when your primary and secondary partner are bonding alone?

    It's been one month since we have realized we are in love. We all started the relationship at that point. Tyler and Steve have been falling in love, while she and I are already in love. We are both bi. We have consummated. So have they, which only just happened in the hotel. Their love has...
  4. L

    How long does it take to not feel horrible when your primary and secondary partner are bonding alone?

    I have stayed in a hotel with Tyler once. That was the plan, so we could each work on the 2's bonding appropriately. Steve was not as bothered by this as I am. We all discussed it, even our fears beforehand. It was not sprung on me. I am grieving my marriage the way that it was, and having fears...
  5. L

    How long does it take to not feel horrible when your primary and secondary partner are bonding alone?

    To be clear about the rule voice, there is a hierarchy, at the moment, because our marriage is 17 years and our relationship with her is 1 month in this romantic way. We are very communicative, but she's clear that the marriage comes first and that I have to be comfortable with each new thing or...
  6. L

    How long does it take to not feel horrible when your primary and secondary partner are bonding alone?

    Yes, so when they are together I feel this abandonment. Plus the newness of the whole situation and none of us have ever been poly before. It's a completely organic situation that sort of forced us to poly but willing to deal with it all for this love. I didn't think about it in terms of being...
  7. L

    How long does it take to not feel horrible when your primary and secondary partner are bonding alone?

    Thank you for the timeframe, Kevin. That helps. The hotel was discussed beforehand. No cheating whatsoever. But still felt the same. I know they need to bond for this to work. I just didn't know I would feel so awful afterwards.
  8. L

    How long does it take to not feel horrible when your primary and secondary partner are bonding alone?

    I'll call my husband Steve, my girlfriend Tyler, and I am Lisa. Tyler fell in love with me in our friendship. We've all known each other 8 years. Tyler has worked at our business for 4 of those years. She and I have spent at least 4-5 days a week together as friends very closely over the last 2...
  9. L

    How long does it take to not feel horrible when your primary and secondary partner are bonding alone?

    Hello, I am in a new poly relationship with my husband of 17 years. We have a girlfriend who originally fell in love with me (I am the wife) and then had feelings for my husband. We have known her as a friend for 8 years and were very close to her before this came about. We both equally want to...
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