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Sigh, the sheer number of imprecations, assumptions and leading questions in those 2 posts is.... astounding: Granted I don't have a lot of experience here, but yes, I feel my girlfriend HAS to have some understanding of the situation between my wife and I. If nothing else, so that she knows...

Shaya, very comfortable to hear what you have to say. I definitely have points to raise re what you've already said, but please continue. No apology necessary and no offense taken.

Emm, Valid, but the point then remains, if she doesn't have a meaningful choice then...... what exactly? I make it for her? Or I have no right to leave? and therfore no right to anything that is not 100% her idea? Any potential compromise around...... anything, could be seen as non...

I.... kinda think the previous poster WAS, but moving on. "No real choice but to stay". This bothers me. I'm not saying you're wrong (I really don't know), but what do you mean? How do I give her that choice? I don't WANT her to leave, but do I have some sort of obligation to leave if I'm...

Obviously it's not "okay". But this does not mean that the only acceptable option is to ignore what I want. I'm glad that worked out for you, it may or may not work out for other people. The....... concept that you don't get everything you want, and that it's never acceptable to take...

Way to cherry pick. "AS WELL AS" a variety of fiction, i.e that was me minimising the fiction as I'm aware it's well..... FICTION (although written by a poly author, which should count for something). I have never, anywhere in this entire 9 page thread said anything even remotely related to...

Thank you. I'm hoping it is a workable compromise, that will enable to us either move forwards, or at the very lest identify that we are not going to be able to move forwards. My seeing the girlfriend is SUPPOSED to enable to me actually concentrate on my wife the rest of the time, because I...

It's not so much that I'm ignoring it as that I believe you are incorrect on...... virtually all points and dialog does not seem to be clarifying things. 1) No, I haven't. She had separated because she feels the current situation is hard on me. I have not lost her, and in fact have now...

Again potentially valid points, but there is information missing (because I didn't want to write even more of a novel than I did), so... in chunks. GF, wife kids unit: Yes. BEFORE she was an "affair partner". She was initially a friend of a friend. Then a friend, then a family friend. "The...

Valid questions, but no I don't think so Oldest child is 12. No I have never cheated emotionally or physically on my wife (prior to this). I...... don't feel I can't "hack" the responsibility of being a parent. I don't..... long to be free, or wish to avoid my children or anything like that...

Hi all, Been away for several days, so first some updates: I have found a counsellor that is not horrendous. Have been to a double session so far. Next one is scheduled for Monday The separation with the GF was proving intolerable, both to myself and the GF. In order to get a little space and...

THIS, yes. These are all valid points, and a lot of them I don't have the answers for. I have indeed given thought to most of these. Unfortunately I have been unable to discuss these with my wife. I have now made three separate attempts and all three have rapidly dissolved into "you just want...

Okay, Firstly, yes, I've skipped over a whole bunch of stuff. My first post was very difficult to write, took me four attempts and was STILL far too long. So a lot has been omitted, I'm more than happy to fill in blanks. 1) GF is unhappy for several reasons, the main one is general stress...

Wowsers! I.... suspect I'm in a radically different time zone to most of you :) When I finally went to bed at about 3:30am this morning there was......substantially less here. Thank you all, for your continued input. I'm reading, and I *will* respond.

This..... Means a lot thanks, It was exactly the tone I needed. hmmmmm, yes. Time. I can't disagree. I'm impatient (so's the GF), not helpful here, we're both aware of it and attempting to deal with it. But time is an issue. Not so much because it HAS TO HAPPEN NOW, but........ I have no...

No. I don't see the point. You've told me you don't see any reason to continue this discussion, yet you continue coming back to it. You've made your opinion of me and the situation perfectly clear so You're not really adding anything of value. I'm quite happy to take criticism, and I feel...

Thank you for coming back to what is obviously a difficult subject Therapy is indeed a must. I've had difficulty locating local therapists that are..... useful. And yes, ongoing support is something I feel would be required. However - If this is indeed where I end up....... I don't know...

Yes, actually. As well as a variety of fiction I have read the ethical slut, and gone through "more than 2" (website, I haven't read the physical book yet), paying particular attention to the relationship bill of rights, The section on rules and reasons, and all the information regarding...

Thank you all for your feedback. Not what I wanted to hear, but I have no one to blame for that but myself. I wasn't looking for validation, and "oh well, damn, those women suck, they should all just love you and do as you say" is very definitely not what I wanted at all. Some affirmation or...

There was about 3 weeks between the..... realisation of an emotional affair and the open conversation with my wife. There was about 2 months between that conversation and the conversation where I refused to accept further restrictions. Yes my wife has the option of dating other people. That...