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Yes - that is it. I am tired of the “break ups” that stem from lack of communication. If we communicate better- this can be avoided. We made this clear. I am okay with being married and I am okay with not being married. I am okay with being open or not. As long as we talk about it. I’ve been...

Trying to update to respond to all as much as possible. I don’t know if I was clear enough in my previous posts. BF does want to get married (in life, not necessarily to me but he wants to). He had discussed this with me about me. But when he goes through these moods, he decides he won’t be...

I don’t have any advice, just wanted to share that I’m going through something similar and relate a lot to what you are saying. It’s hurtful and feels unfair that their love could suddenly be taken away.

You are right - it’s the mono programming. I think that’s a big part of this. In terms of the marriage conversations, he knows I’m married and also knows I’d get divorced if he seriously wanted to marry me and a concerted effort was placed on that goal. We have talked about it every time this...

If it only were that easy to just replace a 2.5 year intimate relationship with a new person, I’d have done it.

BINGO!!! You hit the nail on the head and actually were able to conceptualize this better than I explained it. It’s like there is this subconscious belief that because we are so close and spend so much time together, it must mean I want to marry or I expect that because that’s been every other...

I have posted here before about my poly experiences/relationships. I am married and live long distance from my husband, and have another male partner who I live close to and more or less consider primary. This has been a roller coaster over the past 3 years. I have moved several times, tried...

Hi everyone, Thanks for your kind replies and recommendations/resources! And also for sharing your experiences, JaneQ! I definitely am in the lane of "allow this to develop organically" and also to build friendships first and solid connections. Not that we aren't open to a fun threesome with a...

Hi Poly friends, It has been SOO long since I have visited over here. I think my last threads were almost a year ago, I was struggling with missing my partner/BF who had moved to the east coast, while simultaneously feeling "left out" and upset at my husband and his GF in California (I had...

Yes, that is correct. I had an overreaction but it wasn't exactly about the situation or the context. I was a lot more secure in myself and my relationship when I was mono with my husband. Poly sort of threw all that out of whack - not that I am blaming it or thinking it is a bad choice. I am a...

Hey guys - I am fairly certain we are monogamous and that is how things are shaping up. We have not had a formal conversation of "this is what we are doing!" yet. I know he is not dating or talking to anyone. I still talk to my former husband regularly, because he is still like family, but...

Hi all, last I was on here was December. Something happened last night that was a reminder I'm not out of the woods with my insecurities and worries about relationships. Here is my last thread here which is pretty long and extensive...

I haven't been on this site in months and have a lot to add to my story, if anyone cares to read. I am not sure what motivated me to come write this today... perhaps new insecurities and/or revelations? I do browse the site periodically but haven't felt compelled to engage until recently. I...

MayDecember, I completely resonate with everything you just said!!!! You put it out there so articulately and gracefully. It's like what I was thinking but could not put into words with my brain fog.

Hi there, I just want to point something out that no one here has acknowledged (at least that I've noticed). In poly/open relationships, there is the idea of "messy" people, or "off limits" type people. I am probably using the wrong terminology here but it's 530am where I am right now. I am...

I think we probably do all experience NRE differently due to different personalities, attachment styles, preferences etc, but I'm pretty sure the underlying brain chemistry is the same, we probably all have different levels of neurotransmitters/hormones to begin with (differently baseline) so...

Hi All, I started writing this last night, got interrupted by a phone call, and lost the whole thing.. LOL. I guess I was meant to write it differently. I want to thank all of you who have helped me with all my serious changes/transitions related to my relationships. If you don't remember or...

Hi Luna and Gala, Thanks for your feedback and suggestions. I want to let him know too (give a heads up) but also don't want to scare him. The reason why I seem to "walk on eggshells" so to speak is he has had some trauma and drama in past relationships that I think sometimes gets in the way -...

Lunabunny, you put that all out there so well. You really captured how I am feeling. A lot of what you said has also put into words what I am feeling but didn't really think about - for example, the half in, half out thing. Husband and I were like this for a while, and BF never really was "mine"...

Galagirl, Thanks for that articulate and poignant post. You are absolutely correct that I can be more decisive and I am doing this foggy decision making - mostly because I don't want to make the wrong decision (not that that is an excuse). It is a huge life decision and I don't take it lightly...