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I've never really worried about the legal/political side of things... Maybe I'm just naive in my upper SES/white/cis/straight privilege. And while it occasionally crosses my mind that someone would be upset with me for oversharing, it has never deterred me :rolleyes: But sometimes I start to...

Sometimes I wish this site had a way to make blogs private or protected... Most stuff, I'm either fine sharing it with the world or don't want to talk about it at all. But once in a while there's something I want to write about that I think could hurt someone if they stumbled across this blog...

I wrote a long response to some of this on my blog, but the short version is, yeah, sometimes I do see partners as interchangeable :( It's interesting because rather than fight against being boxed into a role or label, I seek it out as an antidote for the feeling of being "just one of many". I...

This is definitely something I've felt when dating multiple people. It's not that I stop appreciating each partner as a unique person. It's just that I don't really experience the whole "doing the same activity with different partners feels totally new and special because your relationship is...

On a completely different note... To everyone out there who can't wait to pay off their mortgage... remember that instead of writing a nice, normal check every month, you will have to write one GINORMOUS check for property taxes every year. Paying cash for the lake property was such a proud...

We really are. I'm sure some of it is just that we've been together forever and have grown alike, but I also remember meeting him at 21 and thinking, here is someone who just gets me. His mind works exactly like mine. He sees things the same way. I never have to explain things twice or reword...

I'll send lots of hugs, but... Boundaries shouldn't be that hard. That's something I realized when everything was a mess with Dag last year. I felt guilty for needing or wanting anything without an ironclad logical reason. And that's bullshit. If you don't enjoy spending extended amounts of time...

There was a thread on one of the Fet poly groups where I lurk when I'm tired of seeing what 25 year olds do with their pubes these days. It was a discussion about how to handle it when one member of a co-habiting couple has another partner who wants to hang out in the shared house a lot. One of...

It's been a crazy busy week, kept meaning to write and never had the time ... A couple of things I've been pondering this week... The thread on "female self confidence", which just... I dunno. I can't summon any anxiety around my genitals. (Which is pretty funny, considering I had a panic...

When I started this blog, I intended it to be a place to think about poly, the big issues... Life, the universe, and everything ;) I never wanted to do the day to day "what I've been up to" thing... Because I KNOW how much that triggers my not-good-enough feels. I write that I ran 5 miles, and I...

I don't think I'll ever reclaim "slut" - I don't even want to, talk about something that would take years of work lol. The way you use it, a woman who likes sex and isn't ashamed of it, I just call that "well-adjusted human". Slut is... Almost the opposite of that. Someone who lets their sex...

Yeah. I'm really just grasping at straws here. Trying to find some way back to the time when I saw my wedding ring as a "get out of jail free" card when it came to taking other relationships seriously. I used to feel 100% ok about wanting a no pressure fwb situation. I used to think fwb was...

More and more I'm starting to think mono vs poly *is* an orientation... Even to the point of being hard to do as a choice. Because ... I just couldn't do it. I mean, I did ok, I didn't ruin anyone's life or anything ;) But it was painful and difficult and frustrating, every day, and it only got...

That's a good point - and one I forget because I totally get that need met through the "best friends for life" type situations you mentioned. I wonder why close platonic friendships are "enough" for some people, and others need the freedom to evolve those into romantic relationships :confused:

Something I've been thinking about today... Both my dad and Andy are introverts who "read" as extroverts. They have great social skills, no social anxiety, they get along with everyone and can talk to anyone. But both of them will come home from a dinner party and just sit, in silence, eyes...

Aw, thank you Starlight :) I do my best, but I still let the "supposed to" feelings get to me sometimes. I've got this worm in my brain about how women should be in relationships, and it doesn't match what I want right now, and that messes with me. Going to break my resolution to not do...

It's been a crazy few days, Andy's dad went in the hospital for emergency surgery - he's fine, but still there, cranky and ready to go home. Something I realized, though, being too busy to blog... I'm happier when I'm not dissecting my love life online. This blog is a great help for pondering...

If nothing else, I think it's good that you can be this honest with Idealist - and that he can be supportive and understanding! I definitely would not say anything to Meta. If idealist wants to talk to her about how HE feels, I guess that's his choice. But "premature escalation" for sure. (I...

Thanks KC :) I think this is just one of those times my subconscious/programming is waaaay behind my logical brain. I had two "slut nightmares" last night, ugh. One where I woke up in a strange house and the police were there, grilling me, and I couldn't remember anything except vague flashes...

This is one reason I think I've had better overall experiences with kinky guys, even though I'm pretty vanilla ... There's the culture of talking about likes, dislikes, and limits before you get sexual. (Though I did have the most eye rolling experience texting a Dom type a couple of months...