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wow. that is a lot. I hope you are taking care of yourself and working on more than the romantic aspects of your life. I have no idea what it feels like to be in your shoes. But I do have experience with paranoid psychotic depression symptoms; when I've been at my most depressed, I also get...

a few more updates: https://learningmanyloves.wordpress.com/2015/09/11/post-burn-wrap-up/ https://learningmanyloves.wordpress.com/2015/09/12/why-take-responsibility-when-you-can-just-blame-someone-else/ Long story short: Burning Man was great. Being somewhere for two weeks where Lora couldn't...

Jon and I will use primary if pressed by someone who is looking for an easy understanding, but for us using that word in no way implies that we would potentially have another partner who is just as important. When he was dating Lora, Lora and I were technically his coprimaries, though none of us...

Jon and I are leaving for Burning Man tomorrow morning. I'm wrapping up things with work now. Last night, when I got home, Jon was upset with Lora. She was text-bombing him again and rehashing what went wrong/pushing to try again/basically texting about everything that they are specifically NOT...

I said other because none of those really worked for me. I've always been poly-friendly, even before I had any idea what that was. I decided to live polyamorously when I realized that my reciprocated love for my friend Rachel was such that we wanted to share our lives together, and I...

whoa, whoa, whoa I just want to make sure that you're clear that that isn't a fact or anything. You don't "deserve" to be #1 because you live together. If I (or Jon) fell in love with someone who was severely allergic to cats (Jon and I have four), chances are that our severely-allergic love...

I think the problem (for both sexes) is that some people who act abusive/controlling will use calling someone sensitive as a means to get what the abusive/controlling person wants. It seems like there are many threads here from people who were told "You're being sensitive!" by a partner when...

What I get out of knowing this now is two-fold (and with an added bonus). One thing I get out of it is feeling relieved that he actually noticed such things, and that he cared about them in a way that I didn't know at the time. That his decision to break-up with Lora was in part because of...

keys obtained. Jon and I also had a really good (slightly aided by drinking a bit of alcohol) talk last night. Jon mentioned that Lora had a good interview as an executive assistant, and it looked like she'd be starting her new job on Monday - which is great news for her. I said "that's great...

Totally agree with YouAreHere, especially the language written. OP, the way you wrote it, it did sound a little aggressive and maybe primed for a fight. At least, it sounds like coming like a place of anger, maybe. Which isn't to say that you wouldn't be angry or hurt that you haven't been...

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree, then. In the two other forums that I participate online most heavily, challenging the concept of the thing is considered thread hi-jacking, for the reasons I mentioned - it can become hard for people who want to talk about the original topic to actually...

We sadly rent and our very front door key is one of those super-fancy ones that you can't copy without paying like $50 and having a special card authorizing you to make copies. It's technically possible, and we inquired about it (our landlord's attitude was along the lines of "unless you're...

As I suggested that, I'd like to offer some of the clarification on what I meant by that. If we start a post about highly sensitive people and poly, meaning that someone wants to talk about what it means to be highly sensitive and poly, but a large number of responses refute even the existence...

After pointing out the need for the keys to go to one of our cat-sitters, Jon said that he'd get the keys from Lora tomorrow, instead of Monday. We'll see how that pans out, but it does sound a heck of a lot better than getting them Monday, especially since we're leaving on our trip at the...

She forgot the keys. Why am I not surprised? Jon said he's going to meet her on Monday to get them. I'm honestly not afraid of her coming in and setting fire to our stuff or something, I just want my freaking keys out of her possession. Also, a friend who is going to help cat sit while...

First load is being unpacked at the storage place. Jon's only comment so far has been that he wished he rented a van, so it could all go in one trip. But he's 90% two trips will do it. If he gets done early enough, he can accompany me on a medical procedure I need to do today that is very...

I think it would be reasonable for you, this time, to say "Hey boss, I booked a hotel room already for this trip, so I definitely need these days off". If the other girl got to call "dilbs" on the time off last time, then saying something early and letting them know that you have a hotel room...

As I type, Jon is moving things outside. He and Lora are going to move stuff to a storage unit for her today (the full details of that are on my blog). Poor guy was up at 5am, unable to sleep from the stress of it. I think he's anticipating Lora doing a lot of freaking out. Given the freaking...

I stumbled across this article last night, and it made me think of this thread: http://pervocracy.blogspot.com/2012/06/missing-stair.html Thoughts? It's definitely something that is very strongly on my mind, as we recover from living with Lora (as we speak, Jon is getting her stuff moved...

I find it interesting that there is some association here with saying someone has a mental illness (or, we could even say, a physical illness) means that they are "fixed" in place or that that means there is...something about them that can't change, if they wanted to change it. To speak from a...