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me too. :( I'm so glad it's on it's way towards being over. Yes and no. I think it was in part about having Jon's attention, but I also think it was in part about having something that she thought she had taken away from her. That wasn't the first time that she got inappropriately upset about...

I really bought into what Jon bought into, which was that Lora is a really amazing person who just has some problems that she needs to work through. Emailing with Lora (and Jon and Lora met online, and emailed back and forth for about six months before meeting in person), is like emailing with...

No locks changed because we rent. She still has her keys because when she comes by to pack/get things, she doesn't want to see either of us. Jon thinks seeing her would be too painful right now, and I don't even want to look at her. At the moment, I do trust that she won't do anything shitty...

"He ruined my haul!" When Lora finally got a job a few months ago, one of the first things she did after her got her first paycheck was go on a bit of a spending spree. Because I'd been working a lot of long hours, the deal originally had been that first she'd be out shopping (giving Jon and me...

So, Lora is definitely not coming for her toiletries or to do anything this week. She "needs time". Maybe she does. I know she's in a lot of pain. Or maybe she's going to try to manipulate her way back in. Or maybe both. I wrote a letter that I'm going to give to Jon tonight. It's...

If/when I say not legal, I mean "not legally binding". There are no rights or benefits that are transferred in a commitment ceremony. I believe that in the US, a religious marriage, without signing the legal paperwork also would not be legally binding. As in, if you married in a church, even...

This sounds like two conflicting sources. On one hand, you have G FEELING the need to share details, to make him "get used to it". Then you have a statement about HIS feeling - it will make him feel like it's a secret. Is it really BOTH of these things? Is this all about HIM feeling like if...

Ah, and the last little tidbit from this morning. Originally, Lora was going to come either Wednesday or Friday of this week (she has those days off) to pack up some more of her things, to keep with her at the sublet. Mainly more work clothing, and the toiletries she left behind and would like...

That is an excellent point, and you're totally right. There are still a lot of possible futures out there, and even if both of us my grieve for this particular one not happening, there should be a lot of hope for (even better) other ones that may come true. I wrote more about it sticking in my...

Thank you all, so much. "I hope it sticks" is the most popular (by far) comment that I've gotten, and I hope it sticks too. I think it's more and more likely that it will with each day, especially since he finally opened up a bit to two people (his dad, and an ex who remains a very good...

Me too. The hardest thing right now is NOT texting him "you're still broken up, right?" Seriously might give my phone to my coworker (who knows what's going on) and say "Can you hold this for me, so I don't do something stupid?"

I have had many years of therapy. I had therapy for serious depression with psychotic features. Then I had therapy to process how living with a mentally ill mother (she probably has borderline) who was also a hoarder, and thus, had turned me into a hoarder (because I had no idea how to live/keep...

Which part? The breaking up? We didn't talk about it at all yet, but if there is a "Lora want to stay in OurTown, and needs to find a new place to live" thing brought up, then we will put a concrete date on when Lora must be out by. I am currently assuming she will move home with her mother...

Seriously, what I'm asking for is advice. Has anybody been through this, and can give me advice? I know there is no "one size fits all" for it. I told him that if he needs anything from me, anything at all, to text me. He doesn't really want to see me right now, which I know isn't about me...

He just picked up the green stuff. We had a stilted talk. I asked if this was really, for sure, absolutely happening. He said yes. I asked again. He looked me in the eyes and very firmly said yes. Because I am a moron, I said the thing that was actually the first thing that pooped into my head...

Jon 10:12 AM: You went to work? Liz 10:13 AM: I had to. and you were woken up early to talk/fight again, like nearly every day since last Friday Jon 10:50 AM: I'm going to come by and pick up green stuff (our code for pot, which I buy for us, and Lora uses most of. It also helps me with my...

The thing is, I did do that. I did that months ago. I have spent MONTHS excusing her behavior because I wanted to have compassion for her (and genuinely did). I wanted her to get better. I wanted to figure out what level of support I could offer her. I talked to her about my feelings. I was...

Thank you both so much. I feel physically ill from this, and scared, and I keep thinking "I don't have to do this. I don't have to be the person who ruins everything. Maybe I should just drop the whole thing" I would guess Jon probably feels this way even more often than I do. I am so...

Jon emailed me earlier to let me know that Lora's work gave her off Sunday too. So maybe he and I could switch our date night back to Friday, and the three of us could go see the fireworks together Saturday? Because yes, when my partner says to me "I cannot live with your other partner anymore...

I need to tell you something else that is going on in my head. It's what my gut tells me, and it is causing an enormously painful moral and ethical dissonance inside me. I am afraid that part of why us not living together anymore is so upsetting to you is because you know, deep down, that Lora...