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Welcome, Chris! I agree that this nuclear-family stuff is too limiting. I have a (fairly limiting but not too serious) chronic condition of my own, and having an expanded family has been a wonderful support. (Feel free to message me if you want to discuss it more.) I hope you find lots of...

'Rhubarb Vanilla Ale' black tea. It's yummy!

Thanks for addressing the original topic, Marcus! I was quite interested to hear people's ideas about dynamics that arise in relationships that go on for a long time--less so in considering questions of selflessness. Your point about relationships being valuable no matter their duration is very...

Hey there, Newbiewife. It sounds to me like you need to assess what you're really looking for. Are you hoping to keep your marriage intact and have some sexy fun on the side? Are you looking for a new monogamous situation with someone other than your husband? Or are you looking for multiple...

A few more... Be Adaptable People change over time. If you want to stay with someone over the long term, expect them to grow and change, and be willing to learn what this new version of them is all about. Your relationship will shift as time goes on, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing...

Hi Clyde, welcome! Your family sounds adorable, bunny and all. Glad you could join us!

Sparks So there are things that I struggle with. My particular demons often revolve around social anxiety, with particular triggers in the realms of making phone calls, going unfamiliar places, and anything to do with doctors. (Ironic, as MonkeyMan, the kiddo, and I all have long-term medical...

That sounds exceptionally awkward, painful, and confusing! All I can say is, yes, there are egalitarian relationship structures out there (some which have co-primaries in them) in addition to people who prefer to do a primary/secondary hierarchy thing. I hope you're able to sort this out soon. :(

Welcome, Emmy! I hope you can find some support here with your current turbulence. :)

The Twining Vine Talking with RacingSnail about exactly how much we want to entwine our lives is providing me some fascinating introspection about important, practical stuff. The number and variety of things I signed myself up for when I married MonkeyMan without thinking too hard about it is...

Welcome, Vengro! Thanks for sharing your story! :)

Thanks for sharing your story, Bluebird!

Love your attitude, Kevin. Nettle - You bet, on the renting thing. I live in an area with a LOT of colleges, so it's actually super common around here, just not relevant to my current situation. That's very interesting, AlwaysGrowing -- what state are you in?

I'm wondering what people's thoughts are on the interrelationship between economic privilege and the ability to make cohabitation work. I've run into conversations in my local poly group more than once where someone has expressed a positive horror over the idea of living with more than one...

It sounds to me like you've let go of one of the default assumptions that come along with long term committed relationships (and especially marriages) and he hasn't yet. Mononormative culture absolutely 100% supports the idea that he gets first dibs on your time. Has the dynamic between you...

Hey, dragonette! I'm the neurotypical hinge between an undiagnosed Aspie on one side, (our daughter together was diagnosed, though) and an anxious/shy long distance fella who struggles with depression and has a lot of the same super-rational, low-emotion habits of mind on the other. Not a lot of...

What a sweet story! Welcome, Valerie!

In the Night Last night and the night before I've been having a lot of strange, vivid dreams and weird shifts in emotion when I wake up in the middle of the night. (I generally know not to trust my thoughts and feelings at one in the morning, but experiencing them has still been a little...

A Long Conversation So... RacingSnail and I are talking about possibilities right now. Thinking about whether and when he might move across the country to live with me (and the rest of the family). It's really challenging to think about exactly what I can and should and want to offer. It's...

Chryslee-- I have 7yo girl, and after I had been dating my long distance partner for about four months I told her he was my boyfriend. She was massively unphased. She had two questions: 'does daddy know?' and had I gone on a proper date with RacingSnail? (She informed me that grocery shopping...