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I kind of agree the monogamous marriage rightfully places expectations on meeting each other's sexual needs... well enough. But if gender roles were reversed, and it would be the man wanting to be pleased every day, the woman unhappy about that? I think you... or some people here... would be...

So she's staying monogamous indefinitely with you? Because there is no timeframe, no milestone (like "kids go to school"), and even if there was a milestone that far in the future, I don't know if you can make a reliable promise this uncertain. I'm not saying it is wrong if she's genuinely fine...

Is there an agreed-upon timeframe?

@thelastpotatofarmer Would you mind sharing how things are going? You've gotten some differing views from "divorce, because of disrespect/incompatibily" to "give up porn and step up as a lover". I don't know which one is right, but I know hightened emotions have a way to change quickly and not...

You sound panicked. Take the pressure off yourself, and take your time making a decision. You don't have to be ok with everything tomorrow.

That's unfair - he's stated clearly he's up for it twice a week while she'd like daily. It's actually a mismatch.

My advice doesn't change. Talk to real people, before you two dive in. Read some of the material Magdlyn proposed. Your gf may have some experience, but she's probably still ashamed of herself (that's why she waited half a year only to spit it out in a moment of heat), isn't getting the...

[Note: Poly-amory means many loves, multiple loving relationships at the same time, so this forum is not primarily geared towards relationships open to sex only.] Why didn't she tell you she was non-monogamous right at the start of dating? That's unfair. But since you are poly-curious, you...

I found myself in an uncharacteristic position on this thread https://polyamory.com/threads/wife-wants-a-one-sided-open-relationship.159547/ when I recommended divorce while other people didn't. I'm usually the last one to say "break up", I'm the one endlessly seeking solutions, and apologizing...

I'm sorry this is happening. I think your wife really doesn't understand what she has, maybe due to her lack of experience. Your relationship seems under much pressure already. Opening up often ends up disastrous in troubled relationships. You could try giving up porn (to ensure it's not an...

Hm ok, I guess you could think he should be actively offering repairs and reassurance. I was thinking we know almost nothing about his reaction or what they have already done (after all, it's been months), and it's a good sign to take something you don't like as it is. I feel it's a pitty that...

Where do you read that? 🤔

You are on a poly forum, so you will meet a lot of people who emphasize that your partner is not your property to share, loan or give away. Especially in the traditional polarity of men "owning" a woman, this can ick some people out. Personally, I can see how some monogamous couples will want to...

I'm sorry that happened to you :( It's ok to stay with that feeling. You will be mourning for a while. I'm a firm believer that people do need to find trust again, but there's such a thing as too soon. Don't make any firm decisions and see if it shifts within a year.

Right, that's practical.

No protocol, depends on everyone's preferences. As you've already heard too many times on this forum: Talk :D But personally, I'd probably want to be there. What's your preference?

Your intuition is right that that might be hard to do without future unwanted effects. NRE is so strong. There was a post not long ago, from a wife that broke up with her new love because of her husband's discomfort, and half a year later she was still unable to stop thinking about him. She was...

Are you in the habit of telling each other you won't be available for a while? If yes, the first option could certainly be less anxiety inducing. If someone tells you they're on an unplanned date, won't you spend the next hour thinking about what they are doing and whether they are having sex...

I think you should bring this up, not as a demand to change, but to clarify expectations for next time. Maybe you'll learn that his partner considers the phone very distracting and that's why he puts it away. (Some people have agreements not to text at all when their partner has a date with...

Well, even without a breach of trust, I think the third year of a relationship can often bring some distance that needs to be consciously bridged. Your own NRE is probably over, you are not new to each other anymore. Partners have to think about the foundations of their relationship and maybe...