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  1. Bobbi

    V relationship with two siblings?

    This is messy on an epic scale. I'm sorry you are going through this. It's a bit of a difficult read with initials. If you feel inclined to edit to make fake names, that would be easier. Apple, Evergreen, Hibiscus are options. I don't envy your position, but if it were me I'd see 2 options. 1...
  2. Bobbi

    Polyamory films and books

    I put in a UK post code then the Kindle version disappears and only paperback is available
  3. Bobbi

    Polyamory films and books

    .... I guess for kindle I just need to change my address in Amazon to a UK address for that purchase then change it back...I guess I can Google a McDonalds or something? 😂😂😂
  4. Bobbi

    Polyamory films and books

    I guess it's not available in the US. Even though it's free it wouldn't let me purchase because my location is outside of the UK
  5. Bobbi

    Too New

    Yeah, that's the amount of time he can dedicate. It was bad hinging on his part telling you "they" had decided. This means he doesn't decide what he does with his time in relationships. If you do see him every 2 weeks, and over the next year it does grow, she will be "helping" him make...
  6. Bobbi

    Seeking gentle understanding

    You did nothing wrong. There are as many reasons for ending a relationship as there are people. Maybe his wife shut it down, maybe he had to suddenly care for a sick parent, maybe he has undisclosed mental illness, maybe he lied to you about being poly and he's just a cheater, maybe he and his...
  7. Bobbi

    Mono anchor partner + poly partners

    I would go slow and see if things change over time. My life partner, for the first year we were together, did not want to meet my other partners. He felt much discomfort thinking about it. One day we had to go by my place and he met my nesting partner. Afterwards, he looked at me and said "I...
  8. Bobbi

    Too New

    I wouldn't consider that poly-fidelity. It's more like an agreement to be saturated at two each. That's their agreement. They didn't tell you that you couldn't see others, right? If they told you that you couldn't see others, or if you all agreed together that there would be no outside dating...
  9. Bobbi

    Context matters

    We know that there's always two sides to a story and how a shared experience can be completely different for each person involved. We are also limited to the communication style of the poster and text writing without tone of voice, budy language, etc. We do the best we can. I know that I can...
  10. Bobbi

    Guilty about trips

    But HE wasn't WILLING to make it work. You had nothing left to give and instead of accepting that, he demanded more. You were incompatible and it couldn't be worked out. You made the right decision. Even when it hurts, it's still right.
  11. Bobbi

    About to marry into a throuple

    This I can give my $.02 on. Let them have their stuff and don't get involved. Don't let either of them rope you in. That's the hard part. They may come to you for support, as loved ones do. You can hug them, tell them it will be okay, but don't get in the weeds of their perspectives (stories)...
  12. Bobbi

    About to marry into a throuple

    I would just like to clarify what you are trying to say. Terms can be tricky. Monogamy means one. You are not practicing monogamy. You are practicing "closed polyamory" otherwise known as poly-fidelity. That is where the polycule (your triad) doesn't date anyone else and is closed, just as...
  13. Bobbi

    Dazed and Confused

    Keep in mind that polyamory isn't (just) about being comfortable dating, fucking and loving others, it's about being comfortable with your partners dating, fucking and loving others. Poly needs to go both ways. If wife can date, then so can you. Yes, you can choose not to and change your mind...
  14. Bobbi

    My Experience with the Dark Side

    Doing anything while in the midst of NRE is a big mistake, no matter what kind of relationship structure you follow. People get swept up in it, are convinced that it's their soul mate, this STRANGER, that they are meant to be. They lose their minds until they see the truth, are hurt beyond...
  15. Bobbi

    Rules? Boundaries?

    That just takes time and experience. It's still part of monogamous programming. You have talked about it and given the green light for PDA, so it's not about respecting your feelings. It's about moving through some ingrained monogamous programming on her part. She will just have to do it to get...
  16. Bobbi

    Rules? Boundaries?

    Rules are best used for health and safety. If you lived together, then maybe one or two more for respecting the home or private space would be needed, but rules aren't usually used to make people comfortable. Usually rules are designed around sexual health, such as the use of condoms, regular...
  17. Bobbi

    Dating solo for the first time

    I'd strike up a conversation with her, see if you have anything in common and find a way to mention your wife, and, separately, your partner. "My wife is totally into Marvel as well, but my partner doesn't see the big deal." See how she reacts to that information. Chances are, you'll know right...
  18. Bobbi

    Am I splitting up my partners?

    This is the problem, not you. Her feelings are hers to work out. You aren't the problem. The problem is that this happens around you or within earshot of you. You need to tell them that they need to find a private place to fight about you because it's not fair to you. If they have something to...
  19. Bobbi

    Am I being oversensitive or taken advantage of?

    I'd chalk it up to NRE. You are now sleeping naked together so things are changing in a positive direction. I would suggest that she not share her sexual escapades with you. It's TMI and hurtful to you. You don't need to know anything beyond sexual health stuff that directly affects you. With...
  20. Bobbi

    Don't know how I feel (poly D/s)

    I'm also wondering if the guy is actually poly or just dating several until he finds "the one," since: This might wind up being some other kind of non-monogamy. I too wonder why he's so open with you, but doesn't want to rub in other's faces. Either he's more sensitive to her feelings than...
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