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Welcome! In the Poly Relationships Corner thread there's a sticky at the top for articles. In there are many suggested articles and books to get you started. I recommend you read a lot and even listen to podcasts on your commute. "Multiamory" is great. Start at the beginning as those are the...

Sometimes the issue is performance pressure. You are a new partner and just the thought of wanting to badly to perform for you is enough to cause that. Try both you and your partner being pleasure oriented and not orgasm oriented. For me, I get way more out of giving my partner pleasure (and...

I'm not sure the best way to handle this. Most advice agrees to be up front ASAP. I can see the benefit of waiting til after this date to see if you even have that chemistry and want to continue the relationship. Whether you have this talk before or after will only be a problem if he isn't into...

What Tinwen says is one perspective. Another is, she knew what she signed up for. All relationships, poly or not, can have some things you want, while others are missing. Some people are emotionally unavailable in some way, don't want to live together together, spend three days per week watching...

That would be a hurtful thing to hear when a person is grieving. There are ways to support but not go all in. In this specific scenario is it BECAUSE he said, specifically, he can't see her any more? Does this statement make you feel some kind of way? Do you have to get over your feelings...

She needs to learn to be honest with you. Can she actually do that? Someone who is used to cheating can have a hard time being honest about things. Did she tell you about the cheating or did you find out some other way? Usually the best rules are the less rules the better. Have one about sexual...

Welcome. I think most active people here are kind and respectful. If you ever feel disrespected feel free to speak up and you can also block specific members if the same thing keeps happening. We want you to have an open supportive environment here but we recognize that all personalities don't...

It seems he took this relationship from open to poly without discussing it. More concerning is that he's hiding it from you. He has removed consent, and frankly, he didn't have enthusiastic consent from you in the first place, but what sounds like under duress. But it does sound like you are bi...

That's monogamous programming hijacking your nervous system and is normal for people new to polyamory. Poly isn't as easy as being comfortable dating, loving and fucking others, it's also about being comfortable watching your partner date, love, and fuck others. This comfort takes a lot of work...

Big red flag! He lied to you about his situation, so he cannot be trusted. A poly person doesn't lie about being poly, they say it up front. You thought you had a monogamous relationship but you didn't. It's been poly without your consent this entire time. Well, he hid poly from you, so you...

Nothing you do will solve a person's insecurities. They have to do the internal work. She's insecure because her own self talk is creating it. She needs to change her thoughts and that takes a lot of work through therapy. Adopting her won't change her negative thought patterns. Hand fasting...

Relationships are based on trust. Without it your relationship is doomed. You don't, can't, and won't trust him again. There's nothing to save here. You are just beating a dead horse. Continuing on will just prolong the hurt and will leave you a shell of a person in need of decades of therapy...

My dad was supportive, but he's the kind as long as I'm happy, he's happy. But he thought I was getting some sex on the side. Looking back, I wouldn't use the word polyamorous, because nobody really knows what it means. I'd just say that I'm doing relationships differently. I'm having them with...

Sounds like a horrible experience. I would never want to relive that either. Good for you for putting up the drinking boundary. You may want to push the wedding back significantly to make sure you are indeed marrying the right person. That night was a GLARING red flag for marriage.

Be there when they ask for it. Listen, hug, hold. Do not say anything beyond "I'm here for you" or "I love you." Anything else isn't helpful. That's up to you to decide. You can give them time, but they have to come back and give YOUR relationship what it needs. You can tell them what you are...

This isn't polyamory. It's threesome sex. Vastly different.

I feel you there. Everyone is different but I would see this as an ultimatum. I would refuse contact with dad significantly if not completely (or anyone else that wants to disparage you, your partner, or relationship) . I see this as them trying to manipulate (punish) you until they get what...

These feelings are normal. It's his job to gain the skills to handle his feelings, and they should get better over time. That being said, this being his first serious relationship will make things harder, because he is completely inexperienced in relationships and poly. So the jealousy started...

So I'm understanding... the lowest earner refuses to stay any place they can't afford, even if the rest of the 'cule wants to help pay the difference? There's the type that freeload and there's the type like this. I'd leave both of those types behind. I'm a person that doesn't have money. I can...

My thoughts... Your values are what you were taught. So really, they are someone else's values that you put on and have been wearing without question. Now you are questioning one subset of them and may decide to change that value. That's how most people work. Some never change the values they...