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  1. J

    3 years of a turbulent polyam situation, feeling desperate and at a loss

    I'm glad that you have joined us in posting. I hope that you feel better for having the opportunity to let that all out. It sounds like you have been trying to hold onto all of the ropes and soothe ruffled feathers for some time now, and are exhausted. I am sorry that you are feeling so...
  2. J

    Swinging

    I am quite interested! But have not had the opportunity to attend an actual swingers event, just some "mixed" social events through PARG (Pittsburgh Alternative Relationships Group) and one mixed kinkster event (which I very much enjoyed but highlighted my ignorance as I discussed in my blog at...
  3. J

    My Old Flames Make My Heart Swoon (cont.)

    I :love: the beard care pampering story! It prompted me to post A Bedtime Story in my own blog. Suggestion: you could post a link to your intro thread here so that people can easily find the back story to your blog. (Also, note that in the Blogs section we are supposed to refrain from...
  4. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    This is written in response to the sidebar in ZeroOnb's blog post: Beard Pampering https://polyamory.com/threads/my-old-flames-make-my-heart-swoon-cont.156089/#post-498046 I :love: the beard care pampering story! A Bedtime Story Setting: MrS and I had been married for 3 years (together...
  5. J

    ED and a sexless marriage

    The surgery for prostate cancer often damages some nerves in the genital area, which can lead to decreased sensation, decreased "responsiveness" (including erectile function), inability to orgasm, and/or urinary incontinence or retention. The OP reports that he is still able to orgasm, although...
  6. J

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    OMG, this sounds hideous-- for both of you. Maybe he learned/was trained by his previous relationships that the only way to make a woman happy is to "need" her 24/7? (How is his relationship with his mother?) Maybe what he actually "needs" is a woman to give him permission to struggle on his...
  7. J

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    Someone who wants a fun sexy weekend away with someone they are attracted to? A spontaneous person who is living in the moment and not looking for a long-term romance? A poly person who thinks that being in love with someone else is not a barrier to a meaningful relationship? Lots of people...
  8. J

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    I'm with GG here. If you are broken up, you are no longer "together." Dude can date or fuck or whatever, however he sees fit, with whatever consenting partner he can find. You can use that information to judge for yourself if he is someone you want to date again. But you are NOT "picking up...
  9. J

    Displaying gifts

    Not specifically re: metamour gifts etc. but I am a HUGE proponent of having "own spaces" within the overall living space. In your own space you can rearrange furniture, decor, determine function however you like and can decide whether other people are welcome to share it with you or not at any...
  10. J

    Things you find sexy or make you feel loved

    Mmmmmm, cuddles...:giggle: Touching can be translated into his "gifts" and my "services" too! - I can reach over and rub his neck while he is driving = love. I squee when having my hair brushed or the scalp massager used when I am sitting at my desk at home. Similarly, quality time is a "gift"...
  11. J

    Things you find sexy or make you feel loved

    I'm an "acts of service" girl and MrS is a "giving gifts" sort of guy - but I am NOT a "giving/receiving gifts" gal. Lucky for me MrS has learned to "gift" me with services and I "service" (i.e. pay for) gifts he chooses for himself. Win-win
  12. J

    Forum upgraded - report issues in here

    I am not the owner or a moderator so I can't speak with any authority at all, but I can appreciate why they might have made this decision. This is a publicly searchable forum, and an educational resource for people new to the concept of polyamory. Regular forum posters put a LOT of time and...
  13. J

    First wife looking for advice and guidance.

    If you are straight and not interested in having more romantic relationships, then I don't see that there is really any benefit to you to consider opening up your marriage to another woman in this way. I think that you are spot on in considering making friends and neighbors with other families...
  14. J

    New to this forum

    Hello, and Welcome to the Forum! Glad to have you here and thank you for sharing your background. We still have a LONG way to go when it comes to stigma regarding mental health issues and diagnoses, but I have actually seen a lot of progress in this regard (as well as LGBTQ+ and other...
  15. J

    Protection Question

    Late to the conversation, but I just wanted to clarify a few medical points for any future readers. While it used to be true that HSV-1 was usually oro-labial and HSV-2 was usually uro-genital this has shifted over the last several decades (presumably as a result of changes in sexual...
  16. J

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    re: Birthday Plans Or maybe, she's like me and doesn't give two hoots about her birthday...thinks it is just another day to be grateful to be alive, and would be thrilled to be invited to your party so she doesn't have to pretend to deal with it in any particular way (while having the excuse of...
  17. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    There are a few other relevant things going on that I can't post about on a public forum. But I, and MrS, are safe and good. My main stress is work related - last week I told my boss that if the situation didn't improve that I would have to go part-time. The REAL parts of my job I enjoy and...
  18. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    My (Bi)Sexuality I have brought up in two (unrelated) posts today that I am extremely selective about my interactions with penises (penes?) and am now thinking about what that means in terms of my sexuality. I identify as bisexual (not pan - another struggle to be discussed another day) but...
  19. J

    Wife fell in love with her friend. Now we're talking about making a triad.

    Female friendships are often seen as "different" in our society - we are "allowed" to touch each other, hug, and sleep in the same bed without it necessarily being seen as sexual in ways that men are not. Deep (open-mouth) kisisng seems to be a boundary-crossing activity, as well as touching...
  20. J

    Hey, formerly mono couples opening up to polyamory

    I like the new article as a simpler explanation of the complexity of a triad. If people digest that and want more details we can follow up with the UH article. I think an important take-away from either of the articles, that is kind of only mentioned in passing, is that every single...
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