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I read the 5 Love languages, at your previous advice, about 3 months ago and it did shed some light on things for me. We have been apart since before I read the book, but I think it has helped me keep things a little better glued together from afar. Unfortunately for my situation, her...

What really bothers me, is that I can tell that she is holding something back. I've known her for a very long time. The smallest of changes in her behavior stand out for me. I know that she has been struggling with P to get him to open up. He has been cautious with his heart, and that has been...

Has anyone else been in this situation? Mono to a poly partner, and forced to be away from them for months at a time due to other obligations? I could use some insight. I don't know how to explain where my head is at right now. I feel foolish for feeling neglected. How is my wife supposed to...

Been away, for a good long while..... This one isn't pasted from my iPhone... I've been too busy to keep up with a journal, but here I am again with insides all a churn and my head a mess. I have been gone from home for 2 and a half months now. W moved back home before my spot on our bed...

** Another thing I hate, but this about me.... That I can see what is happening when she can't. P is falling for her/ or already all in. She is all his for the next 4 months, and his feelings for her a becoming evident in that new environment. I'm not sure if she is there yet, but she very...

@ SNeacail- I know I need to talk about how I feel with her, but the issue is that 1) I'm not even sure seeking someone for affection while she is absent is something I want. I don't feel it would be fair to the other person, because I think that I would be sitting there thinking. " I wish...

19 Nov 1145 ** Finished that talk with W about her road/work trip with P. There were some things that bugged me. Mostly that when he brought up having a fuck buddy, her response was "well then I should be able too also".* .... After thinking about it for a second, It doesn't really bug me. It...

Since july of this year Superjast.

We do talk Danny, but I often feel like I'm overreacting, or shouldn't feel like I do. When we plunged into this lifestyle almost 2 years ago, I was cheerleading the whole thing. We invited another into our bed. We talked for a long time beforehand, and it was something that we both wanted. Not...

19 Nov 620AM Finally spoke with W this morning. Is it strange that most of what she wants to talk about is P, and I still feel a little better anyway? I'm actually in a good mood. Maybe I really am bi-polar???? ** Still can't decided what to tell about my phantom chick mail episode, and this...

I fought wanting to talk to you all day. I'm afraid of seeming clingy, needy and weak. I'm afraid of the fact I feel clingy, needy and weak. I feel like I need you more than you need me, and it ruins me. Again, I tell myself it is all in my head, but the feeling is in my gut and it keeps...

The following is me trying to adapt to my wife loving someone other than me. There is history prior to this, but I'm too jaded to rehash it here. I'm copying all this from my notepad in iPhone, so please forgive the grammar. Spell checking it all is to much for my wasted emotional state these...

I don't want to let it go. I want our life to be the way I thought it was going to be. I feel like my white picket fence is evaporating before my eyes. I am probably overreacting. I know she loves me, but it feels so far away, and... compromised? Why do I love someone so much that I can't...

Up and down I know P can't replace me. So why do I have so much fear and feel empty tonight? Is it because he took her to do something she loves, and I feel replaced in the moment? Is it because of the recent realization of how pathetic my own life is with her removed from me? I am so...

I have told her over the phone twice in the last few days that I have had some revelations about myself, and that I have some stuff to work on. I thanked her, and that kind of confused her, truthfully, because I have been vague, as I want to have the discussion we need face-to-face. A year ago...

Couldn't agree more. This is currently my focus for fixing me. Just need some friends to spend time with first. :D Should be manageable. I am pretty awesome, when I remember not to suck. :)

Herein lies my dysfunction. I have known for a long time that I martyr myself for those I love. I protect and enable the frailties in those dear to me, often absorbing hurt to keep them safe. Until recently, I was comfortable in this. Did I ever expect her to not be herself to protect me or my...

I am pleased beyond words that I have provided something of value to you. These boards have been like a lighthouse for me over these last few days. I can't imagine trying to navigate all this alone. @SNeacail, I could probably find out where they are staying for ya. Judging from the phone call...

I don't disagree that it is hypocritical. How my actions would make her feel, though... how does she control that? I had this talk with a childhood friend, mutual to Lyra and me, earlier this evening. She, like just about everyone that we are "out" to, expressed the same concern that you have...

The strangest thing just happened. Here I was, sitting and staring at Facebook, trying to not feel sorry for myself. The the phone rang. It was B, and she had me on speakerphone. P was there, as well as 3 of her other friends that she is hanging with this weekend. So I sat and talked nonsense...