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Hi Dusty, It sounds like you have a great thing going on and I'm very happy for you! With regard to feeling jealous of your lover but not your spouse, I cannot relate personally but my partner has had similar feelings. He and I are in a long-term, committed relationship and he has an LDR...

You seem to be clinging to the 'if only' of your situation rather than focussing on the reality and I think this is preventing you from moving on. You keep saying in various ways that if only Mabel could agree to polyamory, let go of her religious biases and snap judgements, etc then she would...

This is a no-brainer. You need to break up with him. This is not an ethical way to do polyamory and people like your partner are the reason poly gets a bad name! I personally believe that if you are going to introduce poly into a previously mono relationship then it has to be very strong to...

Norwegianpoly- I found your take on the veto interesting. While I don't like vetoes in general as I should not set rules for who my partner dates (that is not my relationship), I do think they have a place in hierarchical relationships to a point. My partner and I don't say that any person is...

Thanks Magdlyn, I agree. And it totally makes sense that they talked it over and decided not to get back in touch with me. I think this is one of those "don't call us, we'll call you" situations. Unless I want to be their unicorn then I just need to step back.

That sounds terrible and I am sorry you had to go through that. However, good work on staying calm and calling the police when things got violent. You are right, your children (and you) should not be subjected to that kind of behaviour. My thoughts are with you in this very difficult time and...

Update Okay, so last Friday we all went out and I was super nervous because I knew I had to bring up all this stuff that night and not let it drag on in limbo. I almost lost my courage but I did it right as we were saying goodbye. Probably not ideal but at least that way the rest of the...

Thanks nycindie, I like that as a good starting point for the conversation! I'll be fine once we get into it, I think I'm just a bit nervous because this is my first time having this particular conversation.

Thanks, that's helpful! I am definitely planning to talk to them face to face as that seems like the most adult way to do it and I am fully prepared to be rejected for one on one dating. Thinking of just starting by asking if they only want to 'date' as a couple cause I think that might start...

Wow, harsh! I am actually working on my self esteem and social skills with a counsellor (and a life coach for a while) and people have already noticed the difference. I absolutely plan to talk to them, I just wanted to use this forum for advice on how to start/what to say.

Thanks Kevin! I'm working on a 'script' in my head. I just want to do it right because even if it doesn't become romantic I would love to at least have poly friends.

I think the possibility is completely off the table, or at least that's what I'll say so as not to lead them on. It's not just a matter of getting to know them better but of having the experience with my partner first (which, we've established, could take a long time to happen). I'm not really...

Thanks! I am willing to be patient, not dying to have a threesome tomorrow or anything. I get what you mean about not being completely without agenda but I find it hard to bring up. When people ask what you're looking for it's kinda weird to say, "anything except...". It sounds awkward to...

I am in a situation where I am a little confused how best to act and wanted to offer it up to the collective wisdom of the forum! :D My partner and I have recently embraced full poly (a transition from DADT for many years). I am not sure if I am mono at heart but feel that I owe it to myself...

If this is the case, or you think it might be, perhaps the three of you could talk about it? He could explain his boundaries and you could reassure him that you are not looking to steal his partner. Maybe your wife could be present too, so he doesn't feel like you and his wife are ganging up...

Sorry to hear that you are having trouble finding other partners to share your poly lifestyle in the way you want, this certainly sounds frustrating! I can totally empathise from reading your post as I have also had similar trouble in finding people to date while my partner has no such issues...

This sounds like a dysfunctional relationship and, based on what you have said, I think you may be happier being alone for a while than staying with your wife. I don't want to tell you what to do (admittedly, I don't know the whole story) but I can say that if I were in a similar situation I...

This part of your post really resonated with me as it very closely resembles my own feelings about and relationship with my partner. We are also in a similar situation to you and your wife in that we are in a long-term committed relationship where one of us, him, has been encouraged to explore...

Thank-you so much for your message galagirl! I am still having trouble but it certainly gave me a jumping off point for working on it further with my partner, might even read it again with him. I an really trying hard to get my head around all this and your leading questions and new...

Hi Len, I totally see where you are coming from but I feel that you have misunderstood our relationship. We are not married, although that's beside the point. We have been in an open, DADT relationship for 9 years, since we started seeing each other. We discussed it often, even before...