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Hey Tinwen, I'll see if I can answer this part of your question. I find myself unable to relate to most of what you were trying to get at above, so I'm not sure if what I say is useful. I wasn't going to respond initially since I don't think I really get what you're trying to describe, but given...

Hi again Mr. Annonymous, I hope things are going better for you. I want to say that I'm relatively new to the forums myself and found myself here when my wife wanted to introduce her (emotional) affair partner into our relationship by turning our monogamy into polyamory. I can tell you that...

I think I get what you're saying, Ravenscroft. There can be unethical ways to do polyamory and then when everything falls apart... well, that doesn't feel like a polyamory anybody would want to be part of. To my naive mind, I still feel there is a practice or a style of poly that is neither...

Hi Sunsetstudies, Welcome to the forums. In addition to the many wonderful books you've read, "opening up" by Tristan Taornimo explores other types of non monogamy apart from polyamory. If you're new to non monogamy, it may be that other types might suit you and your partner better. If a book...

Hey Al, you mentioned a difference between the definition of polyamory (consensual multiple loves) vs the ethics that some use when practicing polyamory. It reminded me of a thread in the golden nuggets called the problem with "the problem with polynormativity ". The article comes with a lot of...

Hi there. Polyamory is not the only form of consensual non monogamy. There may be other styles that suit you better. The book "opening up" by Tristan taormino has also been recommended by others on this forum. If you're non monogamously dating for the first time, I recommend looking at this...

Thanks Ravenscroft. Thats some good food for thought. How do you figure couple privilege as you've described it with hierarchical poly,. Or poly practised with 2 equal lovers, along with an outer circle of more casual partners.

I wrote an erotic story! :) It's my first piece of writing since high school more than a decade ago and certainly the first erotic piece I've written. I see writing it as part of developing myself in new directions and finding new hobbies. Come check it out if you'd like to support me. There's...

You could consider freezing your eggs. No idea as to the cost of that sorry.

Hi, Thanks for the further clarifications. I'll write more later but this quote of yours stood out to me because I think you misinterpret something. To me, she's giving her husband security because she wants to be with you. The husband is clearly reluctant to allow poly. Her efforts to make...

Hi RedQ, Welcome to the forums. If this is your first polyamorous relationship, jealousy can definitely be a struggle. Kevin has a few links to jealousy: I can understand why you'd feel jealous. Firstly, it's normal. Secondly, you say you have cheated in previous relationships. Perhaps a part...

Hi there, Firstly, a warm welcome to the forums. I'm relatively new myself but have found the insight and advice of senior members to often be accurate. I have a few questions that will help to determine the sort of response we give you. 1. How did your situation come about? In particular...

I'm personally against a 3 strikes and I'm out rule. It makes no logical sense and the only people whom this message would resonate with are those who know the rules of baseball or who grew up in such a culture. Honestly, why 3? Why not 4? Sometimes there are external factors to consider that...

On the topic of orgies, I have a funny story to share. I first came across the word "orgy" in an Asterix and Obelix comic book when I was 12 years old. I didn't know what it meant but presumed it to mean "having a great time in a group." I had a friend over at my house with my mum present and...

What if you ask others to set boundaries for themselves? In your example, telling your partner "you are not allowed to eat apples" would be a rule, but requesting of them not to eat apples and have them say, of their own initiative, "I agree with you reasons. No more eating apples for me." Would...

Hey polyglamorous. It sounds like you and bestfriend went through a lot together but you're now maturing faster than he. What a rough time for you. I think you're still mourning the loss of your relationships if you feel so down that no other friendships appeal to you. At this time in your...

Hi MsEmotional, A psychologist might point out that your boyfriend is currently going through a breakup. Perhaps his clingyness is secondary to that. I'm not a psychologist though, so maybe I'm reading it wrong. He may have to dig through in his mind as to why he feels so clingy to you. The...

Hi Lunabunny, To me, your past trauma is impacting your current relationship. I think you see it too. That's fine, you can draw the boundaries and your lovers can choose to respect those boundaries or not. If you feel B and J may be developing something between them that makes you uneasy...

I feel Al brings up a good point that may be obvious to more experienced polyamorists but was one that baffled me when I was newer to the concept. As we switch from monogamy to polyamory, it's natural to want to know what this polyamory thing is and how to do it right. We know the rules of...

I don't know the origin of this picture, but it speaks deeply to me.