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Because most of the men doing the 3-date breakups were really only looking for a hook-up in the first place, and used the word poly to increase their chances by widening their pool of potential partners to include those who aren't looking for hook-ups. Actual poly men then have a harder time...

Familial or friendship-type relationships, sure (and that applies in mono-mono and poly-poly relationships as well), but a monogamous person - by definition - doesn't want more than one romantic/sexual relationship.

Moderator note Miscommunication can happen easily, especially in text where there's no body language or facial expressions to clarify tone. Please remember when writing that you may not come across the way you sound in your head, and when reading try to give each other the benefit of the doubt...

When you say "friend" do you mean a friend in the platonic sense, or are you using a euphemism?

Again, I think you are objecting to things that aren't actually there. RP has specifically said they don't want to act as mediators.

The gossip described is the current state of things, not what the safety team is trying to produce.

As I understand it, the idea is to prevent the spread of gossip, not to encourage it. Where are you getting the opposite idea from, Vicki82?

If you feel like wading through Defence policy looking for bits to borrow, you can find it here. Most of it is ADF-specific, but you may find sections in Part 2 (page 6-7), the second half of Annex D (page 32), and most of Annex E (page 35-36) that could be wrangled to apply elsewhere.

As an ancilliary role, I used to be an Equity Advisor (EA) in the Australian military. Our role wasn't to mediate or investigate; it was to provide advice to either the Complainant, the Respondent, or Command on resolution options for (non-criminal) harassment/discrimination/bullying, etc...

I've now closed this thread to new replies and moved the last question asked to its own thread here: How do I post a thread on this forum?.

That, and "we need to take a break for a couple of weeks, Spouse's other partner just broke up with them" are exactly the sort of examples I was thinking of, and to judge by the number of posts made here on the subject they're not at all rare. Avoiding people who pull that sort of trick is one...

The difference between this ("situational prioritisation") and the kind of prioritisation often found in a strictly hierarchical, prescriptive Primary/Secondary set-up ("automatic prioritisation") is that it isn't always the same child who takes priority. In strict prescriptive hierarchy, it...

I'm not sure about an overall total, but I'm pretty sure my turnover rate has dropped since getting into poly.

See, you need to leave the second half of that sentence out; it changes it from "this is what I need from our relationship" to "this is how I want to control your actions". Say "I miss you being intimate with me", and stop there. That's the issue you need to address.

Trying to fix your feelings by controling his behaviour is most likely going to be futile. You're asking him to perform a magic ritual to make you feel good without actually addressing the reasons you feel bad in the first place. A better option is to work out what you actually need from him for...

Can you clarify the timeline for me? The way I read it, your partner met someone in July - i.e. less than 2 months ago - had a month-long affair - bringing the story to somewhere in August, and the new guy has now been living with you for a while as at Sept 1st. Is that correct? If so, that...

Most poly groups I've come across are social or discussion groups, not pick-up venues. One group I used to attend semi-regularly was basically just a large group of people chatting about their kids or what had happened at work that day - all very ordinary. By all means, go along and talk to...

Ravenscroft wasn't banned over a single incident; he just finally accumulated enough infraction points to put him over the bannination limit. The oldest active infraction expires at the end of August, but whether or not he chooses to return then and abide by the rules is up to him. If you are...

In poly circles, "don't ask, don't tell" describes a situation in which one partner is basically able to pretend their partner isn't seeing anyone else because the other person is never mentioned. What do you mean by the way you use it here?

There's also the "angry husband with a baseball bat at your front door" angle to consider.