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A valid point. It wasn't my intention to hijack the thread, but I think it's important to push back against anyone suggesting to the OP that her emotional response is an overreaction.

You're right. You flat out said that the victim of a sexual assault should give her assailant a second chance. I'm sorry to have watered it down by using the word "suggested" earlier.

You described it as "a misunderstanding" and suggested that she "at least give the guy a chance". The first part minimises the offence and the second suggests she should give him undeserved leniency, aka take pity on him. If he's not confused, then who's doing the misunderstanding? You can't...

Yes, you are. She was sexually assaulted while sleeping, and you're not only telling her it's not worth getting upset about, but also asking her to have pity on the poor clueless guy who couldn't possibly have known that sticking his hands down someone's pants without asking might not be ok.

All else aside, what sort of visa would she have? Even if she fits the bill for skilled migrant entry she won't be able to live here permanently without quite an involved and expensive process. Edit: Assuming she's not currently in the country due to being a citizen of somewhere else rather...

If you're consistently attracting the wrong people through online dating, perhaps your profile(s) contain some misunderstandable wording you don't realise is there. Can you paste the text here for us to look at?

I realise this is veering from the main point of your topic, but again, I think you're mixing up rules or agreements and boundaries. What do you mean by "make it into a boundary"?

Were you thrown off by the call, or by the setting in which the call took place? Asking your gf not to have phone conversations while in bed with you doesn't mean you're banning all communication or trying to control her other relationship, just that you'd prefer she doesn't a) have intimate...

It sounds like you're confusing rules and boundaries, and I recommend googling for the accepted definitions. Having no personal boundaries is not a good thing, and unless you're hopelessly co-dependant it is probably not true. Would you stay in a relationship with someone who cut one of your...

I can sort of see it being useful to have a disclaimer at the start of long threads or blog posts that start out poly and end up (months or years later) either broken up or mono, but segregating them seems a bit much.

Can you define your terms? Exactly what do "kitchen table poly", "parallel poly", "open" and "DADT" mean to you?

"Open" covers many types of relationship. Some poly relationships fit into that category, others don't, and there are many more types of open relationship that aren't poly at all. In this case it doesn't appear that there is a romantic or sexual relationship between anyone other than your wife...

I give up, you're just being deliberately obtuse.

Am I now going to have to provide examples showing that an agreement isn't a boundary, or are you willing to concede that without a dictionary?

I explained earlier why I believe correct usage—here, on this website in particular—is important, but here it is again: You even gave an example in reply showing what can happen when someone thinks slapping a "Boundary!" label on a rule means it's more legitimate than calling it what it is.

Try reading a few sites beyond wikipedia and you'll see that it's the correct use of the term, even if not every English-speaking person on the planet uses it. Here are the top 3 non-wiki results in google for "personal boundaries" for you to start with: In the first 5 non-wiki sites the...

"Walk" and "drive" are two words that can be used to describe how someone gets from one place to another, but that doesn't mean they are interchangeable. The words have definitions, which means they can be used to usefully communicate. If you're just going to make up your own meanings then you...

You say that changing the terminology wouldn't have made her see the problem with attempting to control your actions, but if she had encountered the correct definitions it quite possibly would have. No doubt she was under the impression that calling it a boundary made it a good thing that...

People will often read or be told that setting boundaries is a good and healthy thing to do. If there's no distinction made between rules and boundaries they will then turn around and set rules for everyone in sight, thinking that they are behaving in a good and healthy way because they don't...

Read it again. A boundary is about defining what you will put up with and how you will act when someone crosses your line. You may choose to institute a rule in an attempt to ensure that people don't cross that line, but that is a separate thing from the boundary you have created for yourself.