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  1. sage

    Poly at heart, lost in conservative culture

    Hi Isaac Check out "And then there were three" in the Life Stories and blogs. It might be a similar situation to yours, although she is fine with him being poly. This shows you a possible outcome. I was fine with my partner's polyamory intellectually as well and unfortunately I don't believe...
  2. sage

    Poly at heart, lost in conservative culture

    Hi If you want to keep discussing this I would suggest you start up a thread under 'new to poly' . It is an interesting topic :-) It's a lot of work for the mods to have to shift threads out of here that take off beyond and introduction. In answer to your question "Why shouldn't you explore...
  3. sage

    Poly at heart, lost in conservative culture

    Personally I don't think you should explore outside of your marriage. There seems plenty inside of it to keep you busy. There are so many challenges in a poly/mono relationship that I don't think it's fair or equitable to ask your husband to go there if you are't able to release him to do the...
  4. sage

    Is our time split unusual?

    I must admit that I was wondering as we hadn't heard from you for so long. I too am very sorry for your loss Vodkafan and hope that you can rebuild your life is a positive way. I do think that this is an important case that we can all learn from, although I totally understand that it may all...
  5. sage

    monogamous reflexes

    I don't quite get who you are avoiding cheating on? I am coming around to the belief that monogamy may be as hard-wired into some of us as polyamory is into others. Maybe that hard-wiring is deeply buried and is only recognisable after we've cleared out a lot of mess and rubbish from previous...
  6. sage

    Pro's & Con's...Did you make a list?

    There is a reason why they tell us to put on our own oxygen mask first before helping others. You have got so much to work on with your husband I don't think you need to worry about his gf. That is her work, your work is you and then you and your husband.
  7. sage

    Pro's & Con's...Did you make a list?

    Yes I made a list, 11 positives for a mono in a poly relationship, it's under favourites on my blog. I even subsequently added a couple. It is my list though and some of the points are specific just to me. But you aren't mono you're poly. In reply to another of your threads there is a site on...
  8. sage

    So this is my deal, my life, my challenge

    "He wants me to have a GF instead of a BF and I would love to have a GF but there has not been one in a while...but his idea of a GF for me is one or him too! COME ON! REALLY? silly man...maybe they don't want to play with you or maybe I don't want to share! LOL its not that easy...hey I really...
  9. sage

    So this is my deal, my life, my challenge

    Hi I'm going to apologise in advance because I need to have a little vent and it isn't about you but ..... Sigh...I am continually baffled by how seemingly surprised polyamorous people are that their monogamous partners have ongoing difficulties with polyamory (see the thread "Emergency"). RP...
  10. sage

    Communicating seems to be over

    Counselling is a good idea, but you have a lot on your plate at the moment, so it may not be possible. I am a crier too. It used to drive my ex-husband nuts. So we stopped communicating, and the marriage ended. I was determined this was not going to happen in my new (now three-year old)...
  11. sage

    emergency advice please

    Hi and welcome There are lots of things your can do to support your girlfriend: check out my blog www.polyamorouspeople.com, check out some of the earlier posts when I was struggling with the same thing. You can search out threads on here for mono/poly relationships. You can join the...
  12. sage

    facing fears, facing reality, need resources too...lol!

    Hi Apart from saying you and your partner can't give each other up you haven't really said how he feels about the situation (i.e. his wife being so obviously unhappy). I think the happiness of his wife makes your position very precarious, especially if children are involved. Polyamory is...
  13. sage

    managing emotions so you don't lose your mind and do/say things you regret later

    Hi I read your post on emotions and it was really helpful. I decided I need to read Radical Acceptance by Tara Branch but it isn't available in Australia so I've had to order it on Amazon. I couldn't even download it on Kindle. I am a very emotional person (at least my partner thinks so) and...
  14. sage

    Introducing a Polyamory research study

    I would happily do this survey and I started but stopped. It said it was open to anyone in a relationship where at least one party was polyamorous and then promptly asked the question How long have you been polyamorous? There are many of us who don't identify as polyamorous ourselves but are in...
  15. sage

    life long commitment

    This is all so confusing that I can't even really make sense of it. Serial what is your current relationship status? You seem to be completely unaware that when people are in a loving relationship together feelings and connections develop to a point where you just can't walk away because...
  16. sage

    Mono gf having problems dealing

    This is such a different post from your earlier one on divorcing your husband. It puts everything in a totally different perspective. You are giving away a lot, probably too much, in order to have your boyfriend live with you, who doesn't appear to contribute very much. Why can't he take the job...
  17. sage

    Biblical Christian Poly Living

    Hi Satisfaction. I think it should be said that the Unitarian Universalist Church is the one that Jasmine is involved with. It is very accepting of polyamory. Most other Christian churches are not at all accepting. I did a quick google search and there does seem to be a UU church in Auckland...
  18. sage

    Hi and welcome to the forum. Just read your post on cliches. Unfortunately I've been around long...

    Hi and welcome to the forum. Just read your post on cliches. Unfortunately I've been around long enough to know that some people do cheat in the name of poly. Thanks for putting up your age and situation, keep posting I'll be following you with interest as most polymono relationships don't seem...
  19. sage

    life long commitment

    Why are you so opposed to a life-long relationship? I think this is the big question here? While I wouldn't go into a relationship with it having to be life-long, if someone was completely against the idea from the outset how could I open myself up emotionally to that person knowing that I had...
  20. sage

    Polyamory and Christianity

    Phew, this seems to finally be clearing for me. Thanks to everyone who has posted something. It does help me to have the biblical stuff interpreted in such sensible ways. Serialmonogamist, your little post seemed to hit just the right note at just the right time. Then I went to an AA...
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