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Hi, dinged. Thanks for the PM. I don't generally tackle threads that are so far advanced, but have gone back and read your original post. This is a very good topic, and for anyone who hasn't read that post, I would recommend it. I haven't read the other comments, so sorry if I'm repeating. What...

Yes, I would echo dinged's concerns. Children who have been brought up around polyamory from a young age will generally be far more accepting than teens and pre-teens that haven't. My eldest daughter (in her 20s) has always known, and while she doesn't agree with it, she respects my decision. I...

He is a he because I do look on him as a kind of father figure and it kind of comes naturally, but it could just as easily be a her and a mother figure. Can I just add that part of the problem could also be that my partner has zero interest in anything spiritual? He is highly intelligent and...

OK, this is way off the current topic but is pertinent to the thread (I suppose)so I am posting it here. At the beginning of this year I started doing AA. This involves a 12 step programme where you search out a relationship with "A God of your understanding'. I have searched all my life for...

Do you have any amours who live close to you and are regularly in your life? This is important to me because this seems to be the major difference between poly/mono relationships working and not working. As long as the other relationships are far away and don't impact us too much or too often...

Hi Sagency, I'd just like to make sure that it is OK for me to use that post of yours on my blog www.polyamorouspeople.com? Do you mind telling me how poly you are? Do you have serious committed others or are the relationships outside your primary one more casual. Regards Sage

Woohoo!! Sagency you don't know how relieved this makes me feel. I'm rushing off to work (being on the other side of the world and all) and I'm sure I'll have more questions for you. I'd love to post this piece on my blog. I think the outcome of my survey freaked many of us mono/polys out and...

Successful to me means that I am generally happy in the relationship and happy for it to continue in its current form. This was the criteria I used for the survey I did.

It will be a hard road whichever option you take, but I do agree with Magdlyn that there is often a rollercoaster ride at the beginning of something like this. It is helpful for you to remember the love that you were feeling just a few days ago. I'm not perhaps the right person to advise on...

I don't know if I agree with you that polyamory cannot work where one relationship is "fucked up." But I can feel the pain in your latest posts. I read your post a few days ago, when you were feeling really good, and I was tempted to post a cautionary one, but I thought, "Who am I to bring you...

I'm glad for you. Polyamory never works if a primary relationship isn't satisfied first. If you are going sexually unsatisfied and she is getting it elsewhere that is something you definitely need to work through. Good luck.

While I agree with RP it is much easier said than done. My partner has a very low maintenance SO (thank God) but I still get upset for him when things go astray. More than that actually, it's like sharing his pain. I hate it but don't know how to stop it and then I get resentful at her that...

OK jumping right in here - Sagency: Where does your belief that there are "many happy poly-mono relationships" come from? I recently did a survey with the polymono and living polymono group sites on Yahoo(they cover monos with polys and polys with monos). Maybe they are places of relationships...

Thanks for sharing this, RP. I for one really appreciate it. I often have a sense that you have it all down perfectly and it's nice to know that you do have your struggles too. Lately I've been thinking that maybe there is something very wise behind the idea of "forsaking all others." I know...

Milehighquad might have the right idea about deepening your relationship with this guy. It's worth a try, Sometimes it works, but it is very dependent on the parties. I would have liked to have a great relationship with my metamour, and we do have a good relationship, but there is nothing in it...

Hi and welcome Your situation is becoming quite common - bi-sexual people wanting a partner of each gender at the same time. There is a blog called A Hot Poly Mess written by three bi-sexual women with husbands. They haven't posted this month but there is a large body of work that you might...

Agreed a lot of the world do have serious, seemingly unavoidable struggles but in the developed, supposedly peaceful nations a lot of pain is brought about by resistance to what is. Going with the flow and gratitude can go a long way to alleviating struggle. Remember the the serenity prayer'...

Sometimes you can over-think these things. Is there a commonality to his breaking of boundaries? If you look at the situations surrounding them can you tighten up the boundary before it gets wobbly and is broken? My partner is hopeless at maintaining boundaries when sleepy so we tightened up...

About the whole pain and difficulty thing. In the past I would have agreed with you, now I tend to think that if it's too hard it isn't meant to be. Everything that has ever been really painful and difficult for me was either wrong for me or I was making it harder than it had to be.

Thanks, Quath. I think I will just leave the bible alone. It's way too confusing if you aren't prepared to do intensive study.