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It's really not a big deal to meet a met amour. Seriously. Overthinking this. It's not like she's asking to be your best friend. The agreement my partner and I have is, anyone of significance in each other's lives, we meet. Generally, this is easy as we date mutually. But, for example, he...

"It also seems like it could be off-putting to someone unfamiliar with poly to simply bring it up early in the dating process. Whereas, when they are more familiar with you, they might be more open-minded about it." Why do so many people feel the need to manipulate people into liking them...

Yes, but you're dating a poly guy. He doesn't necessarily see value in your giving him "more" attention. My guy is poly and not only enjoys, but EXPECTS me to date others. And what do you mean by "I don't understand the appeal of being primarily attached to a person who is married beyond what...

Well...good luck. Just please don't ever expect him to change and be okay with you being with another guy. Relationships aren't about "fairness," it's about what you and he agree to. In my relationship, my partner considers it unacceptable to forbid me to be with another guy. But you can't...

You don't trust him, you and he are not on the same page so far as your intimate/sexual life is concerned (he wants only females, you want option to date other guys) and you're having ANOTHER baby with him? Fool me once...shame on you...shame me twice? Seriously, you guys really don't sound...

I mean, I can't tell you for sure, but the OP sure sounds like the swinger/open relationship type (which may or may not involve the other woman's husband). I don't think this sounds like a poly relationship at all.

Well, that's not exactly true. If my husband and I are swingers, that could be a fun thrill for us. I get almost nothing, but, hey, I'm also not really interested in giving very much. But you're right in that those rules are gonna drive away any poly women.

OP, you have a right to claim your space within the house. But asking that SO's never enter the house is unfair unless BOTH of you want this. She's already moved in, temporarily or not, so this is something that needs to be discussed with all three of you. When would schedules balance? When...

So what if it wasn't in "her" space (after all, it's his space, too)? Poly isn't supposed to be equal. Sure, moving in is something that needs to be considered before jumping into it, but he let her do whatever she wanted for years. It's her turn to step up and give the same freedom to him...

Because the husband refused to take a break from his girlfriend?

Sorry if I lost the thread, but what exactly made everyone else the bad guys?

"It was with my first wife that I learned that women don’t like men to last very long during intercourse." Umm, yes they do! For one, some women need a lot of stimulation to be satisfied. For two, how else can you have a proper MFF threesome (or foursome, or...)? He has to last long enough...

I'm here for you if you need me :) Going through something very similar, though potentially more volatile (I wish I could say, but I have no idea how the transition will work in our case).

1) "I am not comfortable being secondary." That's cool. It looks like he has the one girlfriend, besides his wife who he is divorcing (Does he consider the girlfriend to be a primary? Does she want that kind of involvement with him?). But don't just expect primary status immediately. I am...

How many relationships have you had, btw? You sound fairly inexperienced in dating. And trying to manage several relationships when you don't know how to manage ONE is usually a terrible idea. Be honest with the girl that you don't want monogamy. But I wouldn't try to actively practice poly...

This, of course. Do you really think it's ethical to manipulate a single mono girl into a relationship with you, get her emotionally invested, and than have her coerced into letting you be with others, since otherwise she'll lose someone she loves? Are you trying to be poly or build a harem?

I understand the reasoning a bit, but it still seems crazy. I mean, what if the spouse was abusive after she got pregnant? It happens. I suppose she could still separate and maybe get a restraining order, though...

First off, please understand that I may be harsh, but you ARE coming to a poly community and not a swinging one. Your rules are fine for swinging...mostly. If you want him to only have casual hookups, that's great. But any woman who is into that is going to want to be wined and dined first...

You say poly is on hold, but what about Amber?

Really? So you have to stay together till it's born...and then you're allowed to divorce?