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Sometimes men go through this. I'm currently in a similar position, where sex just really isn't a priority. Men also sometimes have trouble admitting that there might be something wrong with the plumbing. Obviously, the two of you have figured out the low testosterone, but when that happens...

Poly or not, the fact is that taking kids from parents is not something the courts can just decide willy nilly. There would have to be evidence that you are somehow endangering the kids. And that's a strict burden of proof that these accusers have to meet. I watched an extremely ugly custody...

Going to need a little more information here. You say that you have "different visions". Visions about what? Polyamory? Career? Education? Religion? You also ponder if you're being "selfish"... Again. Selfish about what? What I gather, and please, PLEASE correct me if I'm wrong. But it...

I agree with the others. If this wasn't cheating (the relationship itself), then there's no need to pretend to everyone else that it was. As unpleasant as the family may take it, at least they'd be forced to think twice about pressuring you to divorce due to being cheated on. One question I...

Why not just come right out & ask her about it? Maybe there's reason to worry, maybe not. But I'd suppose you might get to the bottom of it much easier, and with less anxiety on your part to talk about it.

I'm with the others... That is WAY too soon to consider it under any circumstances, lets alone one where he wants to move a cheating partner in. I know that everyone has their own choices to make, and everyone is certainly entitled to their own preferences... But this is YOUR home too. Don't...

Oh trust me, I'm well aware of the social implications. I was just asking him if this was a specific rule with him & his wife, or if it was due to the social, unspoken prohibition. Now, if it's the former, that's where a serious discussion about negotiating comes into play. But if they're both...

Any time. I know that sometimes what I have to say isn't all that poly-positive, but I do think that some perspective on the potential fallout is necessary. As for your plan, there's some I agree with, and some that seems a little unrealistic. Not discussing poly for 6 months is all well and...

I think you need to stop beating yourself up over it. I know, easier said than done. But when we look at our partners and refer to them as things like "anchors" or "rocks", it's not as appalling as you think. Sure, on the surface, you think it makes you seem like you're taking advantage of...

Fair enough... I guess what I was getting at though, was to make sure that you're not wearing the rose colored glasses while considering it. As human beings, we tend to have a much easier time talking ourselves into the things we want, even if it negatively affects other people. It's okay to...

Alright. So I posted before seeing this most recent one. (something's odd about my computer lol) But anyway... It sounds like you're describing having close friendships with females.. That doesn't violate monogamy. Unless your & your wife are strict about having friends of the opposite sex, I...

I'm going ask a couple of things that really need to be deeply considered. Spend as much time thinking about it as you need to, just make sure that your answers are what you, deep down believe, and not based on what you want them to be, or hope they could be... If she decides to be on board...

I know you weren't trying to "fight"... I was just being a little colorful. You're right, it is a fascinating topic. And there are passionate points of view from all across the spectrum.

I wasn't looking to pick a fight or anything. It's not that I don't see the value in sex. I don't know, maybe it's just the way I was brought up. My parents were huge on discerning wants vs. needs. And to me, it's always held this internal definition of something we would literally, not merely...

As a mono, I know the feeling of agony well. I also understand how dragging out the talks could lead to further agony. But after reading your words, you're already in a fair amount of strife, so in my opinion, it should at least come with the backstop & "comfort" that there haven't been any...

I see. So does this former friend know that you know? If not, how do you explain to him why you no longer wish to associate with him? If he does know, is there a chance he will say something to your wife before you have a chance to confront him? You're in a shitty situation, and I have to say...

I understand what you're saying, I really do. The question you should be asking yourself, is whether or not that is a situation you will be happy with. Some people don't have a problem with their partners sleeping with others, and some do. But when agreements about that with partners are made...

Alright, so I originally posted as a reply to your reply to me. But then I kept reading. I feel I have to say this. Wanting things to "get better" and "live happily ever after" are not necessarily the same as the two of you staying together. I'm obviously very monogamous. Ask anyone here, or...

Look, I understand that some people feel the desire to have the variety. Not everyone does, but certainly some people do. Now, it's not my marriage, so it's not my place to tell you how you should conduct it. That's between her and you. That being said, I don't agree that something like that...

I'm just going to say this, and you can take it for what it's worth. Cheating is deceit. Cheating is lying. It honestly doesn't matter what the lie is about, she is choosing to be dishonest with you. You may be perfectly alright with her sleeping with others, but you know she's not being...