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IP - that's what I thought myself. Things were great all week and bam, this. He admits he fucked up, he can't fix what he did since we're not able to go back in time and now we're at the precipice of no return, as I can't just shrug this off and pretend it never happened. If I did, I'd loose...

I can only agree on this infinity percent. ;)

thank you all and mini-update Emotionally much better after making this post and finally some sleep. Right now we have agreed to stay together to heal and hopefully grow. I have a list of 12 items about our relationship but have not shared with bassman yet. I won't until he creates his list...

@ Galagirl - after said not in love he said he still loves just not our energy level we put, each of us, into the home. He wants to stay together. I am torn. He's suggested talks and goals to work on us. I am conflicted, thus getting it out here and thank you for your advice. The assignment is...

@ Copperhead - thank you for the quote and link. Got the tears rolling a little, but that's good as it does help with the healing process too. I have read your lists but will go over again and create mine. I also bookmarked the link from Galagirl and as well plan to read it. Bassman is staying...

Post 2 As I think about that statement, again I feel projection of his self-feeling onto me and the family rather than being accountable for his actions, choices. I am not without my own faults. I have quite a few imperfections…I’ve worked on the anger (that was my weakest part of me years...

This is in two posts since it is so long: My spouse, bassman, has been a liar since he was a kid. Never disciplined for it, enabled quite a bit from his momma and this behavior has been a part of him ever since we first started dating almost 21 years ago this month. Note: I have forgiven all...

Wolf will be coming to meet me next weekend instead of memorial weekend. I'm glad too. I prefer my first time meeting one where we can actually have one-on-one time together.

Jane - thank you for the word correction. And thank you for reading. At times I feel like a drama queen...but that's the conversation in my head before I speak to any one person in person. I agree with the "mine" concepts you posted above. I think for me as long as I have "my space", I'll be...

:( Hugs and thoughts of you today and through this weekend. I will send my momma a hug over the phone tonight.

OP - do you really want advice? OP - do you really want advice from us here? It just seems every post that has advised you about your potential situation gets ignored and you post flippant responses back. That makes it hard for most of us to want to answer your questions since the questions...

Wolf is coming to visit Memorial Day Weekend and guess what? It's going to be a polycue with kids camping retreat. It'll be our first time meeting and he'll basically be as wild orchid said in a text to me "baptism by fire". Not only will he be meeting me for the first time, but we'll be...

words: comperting - made it up in the shower when I was thinking about bassman's plans to go camping with wild orchid for her birthday. It's the act of compersion. I had another one...made up (learned that from my High School Shakespeare class - we created words and wrote stories with those...

Honestly, before you and he open up to adding more I highly recommend you do a lot of reading on opening up (there's a book titled this) and other possible readings. Also check out the website "more than two". Based on your initial post, there needs to be a lot of communicating before you go...

I love your "prattle" and do read your blog. Don't stop writing. :D

Well Bassman is a musician/chef and I'm an accountant (don't want my CPA though) and I never thought about not being able to achieve goals by marrying someone that had different career choices then me. Love is love ;) but I do get you're not "in love" with James, so a bit different situation. I...

I used Kevin's: 1st link: ISFP 2nd link: ENTJ I don't know much about either but I think this fits an answer I made on my blog about being an extrovert.:)

Doesn't it suck when a metamour or their spouse reads your blog and you get made out to be the bad guy? My metamour's hub got upset with me for 1) giving him the name I had (seems like he should have said something to me about it when I first came up with it not 2) where I mentioned therapy...

Well mechanic had me over Friday night. We had sexy times right away. It had been since Feb when we last met up. But, this time was different for me. I really enjoy having sex with him. But I am not stimulated intellectually. Yet I do enjoy his mellowness. For being on the brink of 23, he's very...

Why not just go with your other partner and if you see "him and her" there, just say "hi" and move on? I mean, yeah, you're getting trumped but why not be proactive and go see this artist, with or without "him".:confused: